Saturday, December 09, 2006

Legal Frustrations: Part 1

"Ignorance of law cannot be pleaded" so shouts some legal maxim! It is assumed that every person who resides in the country or who is residing in the country (irrespective of him being a resident of the same), knows the law of the land. So if one is charged for committing a particular act as it is against the law of the land, then he cannot plead on the grounds that he was ignorant of the fact that such an act is not allowed by the law of that State. So law expects each and every citizen of the country to know the law. so every citizen needs to understand the law. But then I look at the bare act and find statements running 10 to 12 lines which can be explained in just a single line. Here is an example:
______________________________________________________

If I want to state: "I would like to have a cup of coffee, less sugar and more milk"

______________________________________________________

Then the Indian Restaurant Act, 1901 will quote the same line in such simple words:

______________________________________________________

SCHEDULE II

19: Rules regarding placement of an order
.
.
.
.
.
(23) Less sugar and more milk

a) Coffee shall be any coffee as defined under Sec. 2(35) and cup shall be any cup as defined under Sec. 2(19) or any such vessel that shall have the ability to hold as much volume of liquid that can be held by a cup as defined under Sec. 2(19) and where vessel shall be any vessel as defined under Sec. 2(76) and liquid shall be any liquid as defined under Sec. 2(54) and milk shall be any milk as defined under Sec. 2(23) and sugar shall be any sugar as defined under Sec. 2(17) of the Act.

b) The placement of order where order shall be anything as defined under Sec. 2(12) for less of sugar and more of milk where less shall be anything that can be lesser than the original quantity of sugar that shall be added to the coffee according to the rules of that particular restaurant but which shall not be less than that quantity of sugar which under normal circumstances any competent person would consider necessary and shall not be acting under any coercion or undue influence or fraud or mistake where coercion shall be coercion as defined under Sec. 15 of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and undue influence shall be as undue influence as defined under Sec. 16 of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and fraud shall be fraud as defined under Sec. 17 of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and mistake shall be any mistake of fact as defined under Sec. 19(1) of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and such lesser sugar shall not be lesser than that quantity of sugar which a competent person acting under normal circumstances and not under coercion or fraud or undue influence or mistake shall as per his judgment in normal circumstance shall consider as necessary and more of milk can be anything that shall be more than the original volume of milk which shall be added to the coffee according to the rules of that particular restaurant but which shall not be less than that volume of milk which under normal circumstances any competent person not acting under any coercion or undue influence or fraud or mistake and shall consider it necessary to add to the coffee.

c) If the provisions of the above mentioned clause (b) are not met with then a compensation which shall not be less than the cost of the coffee as per that restaurant menu where menu shall be any such document of contents as defined under Sec. 2(9) shall be paid to the aggrieved customer where customer shall be any such individual as defined under Sec. 2(2).

______________________________________________________

Yes my dear friends! This has to be understood by a common man! If one fails to understand this then he shall be penalised! Exactly why lawyers are needed, so they simplify this shit and use it as per their convenience to kick their client's ass where client shall be any such individual as defined under Sec. 2(...) :P


(to be continued..)

Friday, December 08, 2006

Dhoom 2 - The Crucification

I am feeling criminal to blog on this topic for 2 reasons:

01) I am wasting my time on things not worth talking about.
02) I am wasting my blog space and misusing my freedom of blogging for free.

But I still intend to go ahead and abuse my freedom of expression for reasons like these:
I read some article in the newspaper where a kid stole his uncle's money to watch this movie and a few days back some kid killed himself as he was not allowed to see this movie.

So my advice:
Please let them go ahead and watch the movie; trust me, that will serve them as a punishment enough! Never again will they ever insist on watching some movie just because it is over-hyped. They will mature right away to think before acting desperate to watch some movie just because the promoter's begging them to. So in a way, this post is for a social cause.

Things I learnt from this movie:
01) Queen of England's bodyguards cannot aim at a stable standing body.
02) One can use a skateboard to protect oneself from the bullets.
(The rumors are strong that the Mithun Chakraborthy's concept of splitting the bullet into two parts is being researched upon. The dynamics and the probabilities are all being calculated for implementing them in Dhoom 3).
03) One can stay submerged in waters for as long as possible and as silent as possible using a water scooter. Submarines are outdated now!
04) Aishwarya Rai should give up on acting.
05) Abhishek Bachan should join a gym and fast! His belly is quite well pronounced when Hritik stands besides him and he gives a tough competition to Aishwarya Rai when it comes to biceps!
06) Bipasha has one of the best butts Indian cinema's ever seen!
07) Sunehari lives in Andheri. Sunehari Andheri.
08) I am hot = I am feeling hot.
09) Bipasha's bikini is "cute". (Becca said so, so it must be true. All I care for is "what lies beneath")
10) One has to love someone so much that one should be able to kill this loved one for the sake of love. (It is a really complicated phenomenon, only seen to be understood)
11) Mumbai cops use helicopters.
12) A thief steals one night and is the item-boy or item-girl the next night!
13) To get the attention of some dude, all a chick has to do is, place two fingers before one's eyes and ask, "So are you like checking me out?"
14) Wear a Hawaiian shirt over a "Rolling Lips". That's fashion for you man! Ask AB!
15) Brazil has given up Latino and Samba, Punjabi pop-shit's the in-thing there!
16) Aishwarya should learn to walk and stand like a normal female. Ramp is not the only place females walk on!
17) The movie should've done away with:
The songs, the director and the production unit, the dialogue/script writer, the story writer (if there was one), Rimi Sen, Bipasha Basu, Uday Chopra, Aishwarya Rai and rest other jokers, even Abhishek Bachan. The movie could've just been about Hritik Roshan and the way he steals and it would've still done as well!
18) This movie is equivalent to movies like Kaal, Veer Zara and Waqt (the other crappy movies I was made to see in a theatre).

The list really goes on but really, I am sleepy now and I have spent good 20 minutes on this post, wasting even a single second more would be unjust towards me, you and the movie (cause it just doesn't deserve it).

Trust me, even if I intend to make a spoof on this one, I can't, as the movie is a spoof in itself!

My Rating: 0.005/10

Saturday, November 11, 2006

world doesn't let me study!

Scene 1:

All freaked out considering the mammoth balanced portion of land laws, I wake up at 7 am, but weird desires of internet bind me and thus refrain me from reaching my study table till 9 am. But by 9.10 am, my studies are in full swing!

Scene 2:

Its 10 am and nanny calls up! Mom and nanny have a fight and being a good son, I have to hear the story and do the consoling. By the time the drama ends, it's already 11.15 am. Then I think of checking my scraps on orkut for just 5 minutes and I realize that its 11.55 am in 5 bloody minutes! Shocked to the core I confirm my plans with R to meet up in the library by 1 pm. Plans confirmed, I depart in time.

Scene 3:

Reach college by 1.15 pm. It's 4 pm and I am still studying! Just when it seems life is going to rock and I'm going to kick ass in land laws, in steps A! Now A is extremely helpful, nice female, but there's something like being "over-helpful"and she is just that, which makes her real pain in ass! Then there's R who keeps teasing me, "A likes you yaa"! And all I can offer R is a finger! But R never quits! So after 30 minutes of lecture from Miss. A, me and R get back to studies!

Scene 4:

It's 5 pm and sun is setting, so sun rays reach me and R, and we both switch places when heat gets unbearable! My efforts to tell R to strip so she can bear the heat better go in vain as now she gives me the finger! At 5.30 pm A steps in with her gang of 15 friends and noise fills the classroom! Irritated by the screams of especially A, I tell R to shift from there but stubborn R just wouldn't move. Irritated, I shift to the original seats and A follows me! "Grrrrrr... "I shout as R starts laughing to the extent that she falls from her chair!

Scene 6:

It's 6.30 pm and land laws has really taken it's toll on me. I go to R and tell her, "Let's go for a walk yaa, am bugged". R again acts stubborn, "Lemme just get done with this chapter and then we'll go". But then R gets my I-Pod and tells me the story of the Makheija guy of Demonic Resurrection, who's her boy-friend's good bud, and by the time the story gets over and me and R decide to get back to law, its 7.15 pm and the lights go out!

Scene 7:

Determined to study, R and I head to the adjacent MBA college campus to study in the canteen. We reach the canteen and our hungry stomachs satisfy themselves first and then the books come on the table!

Update:
In between my dear friend Raghu did bug me with 6 SMSes in a row! I had to reply to receive all of them which cost me Rs.2! Raghu, you owe me 2 bucks dawg!

Suddenly it's 7.30 pm and the waiter tells us that they are closing down! Frustrated, R and I walk outta the canteen and sit on the staircases wondering what to do, where to go and study!

Scene 8:

R sketches a plan. "If only we can snoop in this college." "Dudette! If we get caught, we will get screwed! We don't even belong to this college!" I warn her, but R says, "Let's try na!" . So both of us somehow give a slip to the watchman and get in the college. We walk in as if we know the area (when we both have never been in that building before). "We'll just see na where all the students are sitting and we'll sit there", come R's expert advice! "Yeah!" I dumbly reply (R is too cute to say "No" okay!!). So me and R go upstairs but all rooms are occupied. A peon asks us what we want and I say, "The study room". He asks, "The second floor one?" Me and R not having the slightest of ideas where the study room is, innocently say "Yes". "Ah, go from here", he directs us. We head to second floor and find there are no lights there and a small light comig from a distant room. Me and R head towards it and are stunned by the sight! "Shit! He thought we are here to make-out!" R shouts. We both run outta the college building laughing our heads off and are rather embrassed! "Well, we should've made out at least yaa", I told R and R said, "Yeah! What a waste that we aren't a couple!" Laughing we went our own ways!

Scene 9:

I'm home and the college in front of my building is playing the crappiest music at the loudest volumes as they are having some function there! So I switch on the PC and type this shit out! Land laws will have to wait!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Notorious Shit!

So when Mr. Viral Shah approached us with a, "Guys! Do me a huge favour na please! I have lost my first year fee receipt, please write the necessary letter for me. Thank you!" Well, this is the best we could come up with! Wonder why Viral refused to sign it! :P


Sunday, November 05, 2006

Chapter 2.1 - 7th-C

Innocent Days: Part - II

7th C is remembered by me for numerous reasons:
1) the awesome classroom - perhaps the best classroom the school had back then
2) one of my close pals went missing
3) my fall from grace
4) the slap
5) my mouthing of swear word for the first time
and finally..
6) the start of "M" factor!

I was grim that day, A had gone missing and I really was stunned! Strong possibilities of his death been so publicly discussed were driving me nuts. Then Mandy had suddenly changed from my best and only friend to a mere bastard! Now I was left searching for a friend! C was ever-ready to lend me his hand, but God I hated him! So while I was fighting this loneliness, teacher announced, "We have to do some shuffling of places. This year a new policy has been introduced - You will have the same partner alright, but so that back benchers don't stay backbenchers forever, there is going to be a rotation policy, everyday you will be moving one bench back and you would also be shifting row-wise! Therefore after one rotation is complete, you would be changing rows!"

I was placed with Hairy A (H-A from here on)! He revealed to me that he had always been inspired by me as I never left my 2nd rank and still did amazingly well in drawing and craft exams! This really left me confused and proud! Ah crap! People actually worked for drawing and craft exams! So he was my big fan, but he was a total pest!

I scanned and found this new face in my class! "She's M", Mandy2's chaavi!" H-A quickly told me! A quick look at Mandy2 and "How?????" I shot back at H-A! H-A started laughing. "No yaar, he's just crazy about her, woh usko bhav nahi deti!" I was relieved! It is somehow heartening to see all the fellows with you are suffering as much as you, even one satisfied goat kills the human in you and makes you wanna steal all that is his! Or so was I of the attitude back then!I looked at M, oh she was beautiful! Her hair seemed amazing! And her soft skin! She was really cute! She hardly talked to anyone in the class and her silence seemed to cry out so much! She wanted to scream, I could feel it, her eyes just gave it away, but she was gagged! She seemed to be fighting some internal war with the world! All this without a single exchange of word, all this without a single exchange of glance, but all this cause the beautiful her had just got stuck in my head! The moment I entered the class my eyes would go on hunting for M! The crush had gone overboard and I had become too damn crazy about a person I hadn't even talked to, and all this in just one week of seeing her!

Then the most awaited day came when our benches were placed in such a way that M was going to sit right ahead of me and this would go on till the exams! I finally had my chance! All day long I used to lie low on the desk smelling her beautiful hair that sweetly wiped the desk-dust! I let the hair lay undisturbed on my notebook and promptly stop writing the notes, H-A realised I am going crazy and he used to give those dirty "I-know-and-I-am-gonna-kick-your-ass" kinda smiles! Now this was frustrating, but H-A weirdly never opened his mouth! (By the end of the third week, I am sure even he had fallen for her) But I never had the courage to start a conversation with M, and now I wish I had; had I done so, my life would have been so different and even hers!

All was going smoothly, I was still seated behind M and M was still avoiding Mandy2 and Mandy2 was still planning to kill himself if she doesn't fall for him and I was still hoping that this would happen; and my future looked all so sweet as Ms. M seemed destined to become Mrs. MSN (although not a word was exchanged and just once or twice a glance was passed). But then came the exams and what followed post-exams was totally unforeseen!

Innocence no more...!

(to be continued...)

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Blank Confusion

I hate this mood! I hate being non-excited! I hate it when I am inactive, when my mind just goes off to sleep, I hate doing nothing, I hate being unproductive even for one second of my life, and here I am, 30 whole minutes and I have done NOTHING! This is killing me really! I tried strumming my guitar but zipped it shut within 2 minutes, then tried to call PJ and GZ but no one answered my call, then messaged my sistaah, but she never replied to it, so I reached for my cell to call her but didn't have the heart to disturb her, so I gave up on the idea and reached for my diary, tried to write some shit but then I thought of blogging it instead! Now by the time blogger.com opened itself, I totally forgot what I wanted to blog on! So now I sit all blank and totally out of ideas before the machine!

As the emptiness fills the mind, I begin to visualize the tomorrow, plan my future that my eyes want to see.

The long road trip on my bike: I would be gone for a year probably, but this, according to my calculations, isn't quite feasible in the next 2 years.

Perform in a concert: But the amount of time I am taking to learn the guitar, it doesn't seem possible for next 5 years.

My career: If everything goes as planned, then I would be packing my baggage and would be on wheels by Jan 2k7!

Treks: They will be happening whenever I get 3 straight days off!

Photography: This new found obsession will commence as soon as I get my digi-cam! So I hope this would be soon!

Sketching: Few years from now, I would be attending some art school

Music: Not sure, but if I get the time to, I surely would join some music school.

Dramatics: I guess I will, but not on my priority really!

The undisclosed: Before July 8th of 2007 surely!

The girl: Umm... No clue! Don't want to label it a priority and screw my brains! So better off alone!

So after exposing my thoughts and yet-to-be-lived-dreams to the world, I feel all geared up to start with "the undisclosed"! Ah! Relief! End of Blank Confusion :P

Monday, October 23, 2006

Diveagaar Beach






Saturday, October 14, 2006

Chapter 1 - Lets get married!

Innocent Days: Part - I

Men are believed to be hungry and horny. I represent such a breed! But there did prevail an age of innocence and surprisingly this was just 18 years ago!

This happened in second grade - during an age when guys followed a "we-hate-girls" policy, teacher made an announcement "one-guy-one-girl per bench". Back then, the innocent mouths "boo"ed at the teacher, add 10 more years to our age and the teacher would be blessed for these exact words!
(Infact, I would support "one-guy-two-to-three-girls" any given day!)

Now there were four rows in total. The 2nd and the 3rd rows were arranged in such a manner that the benches of 2nd row and 3rd row actually touched each other, making it seem like a bench made for 4 people. Teacher made all the guys sit in the second row and on the right hand side of the bench, so now I prayed for left hand side of the third row to be occupied by a guy, but no! The devil teacher had to put in a girl in there! So I was "trapped" in between two girls!
(Ah those innocent years! Now my mind thinks of all the devil things I could have done). So the one on my right was AR and the one on my left was Pals.

Now
Pals was really cute I remember and it was an instant-crush! AR on the other hand was forever fighting and I just hated her. After a few days even Pals started hating AR and this helped me and Pals to become amazing friends. Me and Pals used to be together all the time and even during recess we never left our seats. Then Pals was sick one day and Amrish (AR's partner) was also absent. So out of no choice we were forced to bear each other for the entire day. Surprisingly we had fun! Pals came back the next day but Amrish continued to stay absent for remaining week (I guess.. don't remember clearly now). AR had no one but me to talk and so she had to be good to me. Then came holidays and I knew staying away from Pals was going to bother me, but staying away from AR too started bothering me somehow. Then my innocent little brain started thinking, "Ah Sun! There's only one chick you can marry at a time (Holy fuck! Direct marriage! Crazy minds man!). So you have to decide between Pals and AR". Entire night I kept on thinking and finally the cuteness and original sweetness of Pals made her an obvious winner! Holidays went on miserably and I was dying for school to start just to meet Pals so I can tell her about my plans of marrying her. Come school days and Pals had some news to tell, "Arey Sun, I met this guy at my aunt's place and he was so cute.... ". She went on about this cute guy for the entire day but I had already switched off. "Should've chosen AR, I knew it! Pals won't marry you!" But Amrish had come back and AR refused to talk to me now! I do not quite recall what I had called AR back then but had I am guessing it was something equivalent to "BITCH"!

Ah well, the poor me felt the heart break for the first time at such a tender age of 6! Next grade,
Pals went in some other class but AR remained in my class, but me and AR never talked. In 4th grade, I heard Pals had changed school. Well, I told myself to move on, "there'll be someone else you'll find to marry Sun, I'm sure" (I recall telling this to myself!)

Heart broken and shaken, I was determined to never fall for a girl again and so I took to studies very seriously. Then I stepped in 7th grade!

(to be continued..)

Introduction

There always comes a time in life when one decides to go insane and fall in love! There are people who decide to be secretive about this "love" they have for that certain someone and choose to die a silent death in their someone's memory by never expressing their feelings; and then there are people like me!

People like me will see to it that no matter what, these "love"ly feelings are expressed loud and clear to that "loved" one, people like me will bark out their feelings to their crushes cause people like me believe in "I will never know if I never try"! (In case confidence fails us sometimes, there are always the over-enthusiastic friends who do the needful for you so that your "love" never goes un-noticed.) However, people like me go with an attitude of "Love me or I forgive thee" and the innumberable defeats never detract us from trying for that next cute chick who comes along the way and we are again all set to get "crushed"!

Disclaimer: All the characters in this series are real and existing. Any resemblance to the fictitious and dead is a mere coincidence.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

selling the drama

"How to sell yourself" - the title of the book said proudly and I nearly laughed at the person training to sell himself. Curiosity took its toll and a quick search on the net revealed there are million books on the same topic and are meant for those who intend to make it big in the corporate world! Wow! Plus there were multiple articles explaining how important it is for a person to sell himself so that he succeeds in his life. Wow! So are these some perfect guides to become a successful whore?

So I always pondered, why are the whores rated characterless? Is it just because they sell their skin? Well, in that sense, there are people worse than them; there are people who sell their brains, sell their integrity, sell their souls and they are still the respectable class, how and why? Take a look at you, are you a sell-out? I rate a person to be a sell-out when he does something that he doesn't really enjoy doing but merely does it for money. How different is he from a prostitute? She sells her flesh for money, he sells his brains for money and none of them are enjoying their "work" really! But still prostitution is filthy whereas brain and knowledge sale is high class! Justified?

I believe there are just two ways of making a living:
1) Do what you do and people appreciating your work pay you for the same
2) Sell yourself and do what others want you to do

There, I believe, is a very thin line between being a bent-over and being yourself. It is necessary to realize this. This life we get is meant to be for us, why should we waste it living for others? Is it just because you get good money? Please help me figure out how different it is then from that of a prostitute? She satisfies her customer for money and so do you. The means may be different but the end is the same. All the education and all the knowledge that was acquired over so many years was done so just to be sold? Was it so cheaply attained? Was it so easy? Why waste something over which so much effort was spent? Why not utilize it for the betterment of our own selves than to price it for some materialistic pleasure? I fail to comprehend the art of selling oneself to the world as a morally correct act, but then who’s to judge the right and wrong of it?

Disclaimer: I myself haven't read any books on the above mentioned topic and I am totally ignorant on the matter they contain. The book was mentioned only for its amusing title!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

6-stringed obsession!

30 Seconds to Mars and Breaking Benjamin are curently my favourite Grunge Rock/Hard Rock/Alternative Metal (newly formed) bands. I have been a huge fan of Breaking Benjamin since the release of their first album "Saturate" and they just got better with "We are not alone" and their latest release "Phobia" just confirmed that they are no fluke act! One helluva band this!

30 Seconds to Mars didn't impress me with their first release, though their latest album's been nothing short of phenomenal and I really enjoyed their acoustic concert. Here are the videos of the same. Enjoy!

Modern Myth - 30 Seconds to Mars




Was it a dream - 30 Seconds to Mars



The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars



I couldn't resist from putting up some videos of Breaking Benjamin too! Enjoy! :)

So Cold - Breaking Benjamin



The Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin



Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

untitled chaos

Yes! It has happened! Finally the words have stopped flowing! The ideas fail me! The thoughts are lost! The brain no longer helps the observations to develop into some sensible written work! So my act of writing has suddenly come to a stand still, making it seem as if all that was, was just a temporary phase and a mere limitation of my mind and thoughts besides a failed attempt to speak out loud. Coming to think of it, it is my own fault too, letting people affect me and my free flow of thoughts, letting them touch me and letting them easily bog me down. So here I go again but I write on nothing specific today though the point is I will still write!


Okay! I am mainly writing this article for 4 reasons:

1) The clock shows 1.59 am and no sane soul is awake to listen to me.

2) The heat is making me sweat to the extent that its bloody impossible for me to sleep or even sit for that matter but am still determined to bore the poor souls reading this since I still practice the age ol' "if thou shalt feel bored then bore thy neighbors" philosophy!

3) I just have enough energy to write garbage but no determination to study or do something productive.

4) Am royally pissed off on innumerable living creatures and am praying that they either cease to exist or they just let me be!


It just seems like yesterday when I was all charged up to fight the world and make it big in life. But ah crap! The laziness fights its way back to defeat its age old enemy in determination and takes total control of me! So the helpless me just waits for some guide to help get through this self-messed life! Self-messed is the correct term because life in itself is always beautiful and generous but the insatiable tendency fucks it royally!


I have read it somewhere: the person who knows what the cure for the problem is, but never works on the same is far greater a fool than the person who has failed to recognize the problem in itself. Now these words of wisdom do strike me but I still choose to stay the greater fool. Blame it on laziness.


I waste my life bitching about how imperfect you are when I run away from my own imperfections. I mock at you for your foolish actions while I fail to correct my own. I laugh away at your serious issues while cry a million oceans on my self-created miseries. I hate the world for its hypocrite ways when the biggest hypocrite is wide awake in me!


Thoughts fail me today, wisdom is a long lost friend, laziness is making this life worthless and misery is self inflicted here! So here I go rate myself the craziest thing ever born! Here I go mock at myself! Here I go apologize to thee for all that I've ever said!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

"Love"ly distractions

Some "love"ly examples:

01) Abu Salem - His career was at its peak as he was all focused on making it big. But then step in Monica and step in trouble. He faced a lotta complications after he fell for her. He had to make several amendments in his lifestyle so as to suit her lifestyle! Phew! Things people do! Finally it resulted in his arrest! Career barbaad and now love lost! Monica's having fun with his dough!

02) Lakshya the movie - Now having lost Preity Zinta, Hritik Roshan was all focused on his career as an army officer, but then he reads the letter stating Preity's break-up with her fiancee and he gets distracted! Dammit Hritik! You are in war! Now you wanna go home so you can spend time with Preity who easily dumped you and had a boy friend and even more, got engaged while you were left battling Pakis! WTH!

03) Apna own Marc Hazard (wonder why he calls himself that when he is so non-Hazardous :P) - He excelled in academics! Topping all the exams and kicking ass! Step in girl and go down marks! Duh! See see! Told ya! Ladki! Pyar! Saley! Sunaa kar! Just don't MARK HAZARDS.. stay away from them! :P (sidey joke I admit!)

04) Ramayan - Sita gets kidnapped! Ram, Lakshman, Hanuman all go crazy! Hanuman gets her home and returns to Lanka to burn it down! God! If Sita were never born, there wouldn't have been so much violence in Lanka! Revenge commeth and then war between Ram and Ravan! Ahhhhhhhhhh.. too many killings man!

05) Mahabharat - Draupadi! God! 5 people marrying her and then the stupid game and then striptease and then Mahabharat! Man! Take off Draupadi from the epic and lets see what all could've been avoided!

06) Sammy my friend - Nice hard-working smart ass. But few years back when he was in love he suffered miserable grades, all his time was wasted in talking about her, thiking about her and then one day they started seeing each other and again time got wasted in handling and caring and staring and wearing and all fucking dearing.. as always a breakup followed in few months.. Sammy goes "waaaaaaaaaaa", girl goes "So!" and down go his grades! But of course, with kick ass people like us around him, he never felt low (or so we intend to think as come Sammy and come ass-kicking!) The first question always was, "So dude! How's your chick?" and then someone had to follow it with, "I heard she's no more you know.. with you! What happened dude?" and then a third guy had to join in with, "So she's seeing K I heard! Sorry man! But she was hot!" And then after everyone bowed their "amen"s to the "she was hot" statement, there used to be an uproar and Sammy bore it all! Had Sammy not been there done that.. he wouldn't have had to bear us! :P

07) Courtney Love - Talking of rockstars, Courtney in and Kurt Cobain out and out from the freaking world! What the fuck! Now she killed him or he killed himself is highly disputed, though it was pretty obvious what that bitch was (and still is) doing!

08) Beatles - Everyone knows the Beatles story! Come Yoko and bye bye Beatles and wohooo drugs!

09) Mohd. Azhar - God! This guy raked in crores. Then he thought of betraying his wife and started concentrating on l'autre femme. His career ended! Monetary losses he faced mainly due to the end of his career as a match-fixer were humongous! (Well, betrayal is a different story really but then you betray cause you are in love again! Huh! How does that EVER happen?)

10) Moi - Happy uncaring kid I was! Then I fell in this shit called love! Slept for 2 hours for nearly an year, messing up my days and finally my acads too. End result: I went through hell for an entire year after the breakup; whereas she found a new guy to screw around within 2 months of the same!

Hence I quote: LOVE ROCKS! :P

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Blogshit!

What people blog on!
(This is the meaningful shit.. trust me!)
___________________________

01) life (we so need to know this)
02) love (urghhhh)
03) sex (love again?)(no idiot! it's different! :P)
04) death (we so need to find out why and how!)
05) God and anti-God ("catch" this! :P)
06) poverty (oh we should deal with this asap!)
07) kindness (important supposedly)
08) helplessness and how I helped or how I was helped!(same category as above!) (again it is important)
09) racism (bad bad problem)
10) politics (never understood and total inexperience in the field) (yeah right!)
11) history (I love it, it hates me! :S)
12) movies (Hmmm)
13) music (Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
14) war (pathetic shit... needs to be stopped!)

All the topics that MAKE SENSE really!
___________________________

What I blog on!
(Stuff that you would kill me for making you read!)
___________________________

01) dogs and bitches (whah!!!!!)
02) crossing the roads (what the fuck!)
03) old men falling off their beds (mother of God!)
04) women's thoughts (yeah right!)
05) why people are busy! (and seems like I am just NOT!)
06) Floyd.. whether they should or should not be! (phew! really need to get some work!)
07) why should one not tell me what to blog on! :P

Crossroads.. literally

I do not know what the traffic rules have to say on this, but seriously, something ought to be done on the way people cross the roads!

I do not understand why some HAVE to cross them diagonally! Doesn't that take more time than usual? Fine! 2 seconds more! But hell yeah! If I keep on counting the 2 2 seconds that I keep on losing on a 10km drive, it well amounts to more than 10 minutes and that’s "extremely late" in Mumbai standards! Now it is a different case for a person like me who doesn’t really care if he is late for work or lecture, but what if I get late for a date! Firstly I get to go out on one after billion centuries and over and above that being late is as horrible a crime committed as not being there AT ALL!

I normally do not blame the kids who just keep running across the streets, little do they ever feel the danger, but their caretakers are the stupidest people existing on this planet in my opinion! Once in my bicycle days, I crashed upon a lady who was walking with her kid who was getting, "Do you not know how to walk on the roads? Always tread on the footpath that is to your left and never on the main road!" from her. These words of wisdom were exchanged right in between the divider and the footpath (which means on the main road)!

Then came my crazy scooter days! Parents were against handing me the keys to a bike, so I was forced to travel on a scooter. (Now trust me parents, scooters with automated gears are worse to control than bikes as the only means of controlling these beasts is the brakes, whereas bikes have gears!! But if only people would believe me!) Ah well! So while I was nicely speeding on an apparent empty street at 80kmph, an auto rickshaw just stops and a lady hops down the same. Now my calculations said that by the time I would cross the auto rickshaw, this lady would be still paying the driver, and by the time she would get to the act of crossing, I would have sailed home. But things HAD to go wrong! Utterly wrong! This female, as soon as she jumped from the 3-wheeler, headed straight for the speeding bus that was on the other side of the road! Now here is what happened! Me just sees the rickshaw and since me was on a bridge, I just could see the hind part of the rickshaw, the lady and her movements stayed hidden! So I saw the lady only when I hit her and her open mouth was all the last sight I recall! Then I too hit desperate brakes and my scooter went crazy! The lady was down and out! Seeing no traffic police around, I quickly thanked God, picked up scooter and parked it by the side. Then reached for the "fallen" woman and helped her to her feet. Seeing me doing this, a crowd of people came from no where and asked me, "Is she your mother?" "Did she fall off the scooter?" "Isko chakkar aaya kya? Is she unwell?" I quickly understood why they were asking me these questions. Had I caused the accident, then I wouldn't have been helping her there. Now I did not understand whether this feat of mine was simply stupid or an act of bravado! I still stood there and helped arrange for a chair so that this female would sit! Then got water for her and helped her gain consciousness. Till then, someone had got antiseptic for me and showed me my skin-ripped arm. Ignoring that I stood there to see if that female needed help! "You bastard! You speed demons should be hung to death! I was supposed to go to Kolhapur, my bus starts in 30 minutes, and I should have caught that bus. But you just banged into me. You bastard!" A voice from the crowd roared, "Is he not your son?" "No you idiot! He crashed into me!" And then the antiseptic lady held my collar. Thank God it wasn't a strong hold, I just let it go and my mind quickly worked up a plan! I had to get out of here before cops come and so, "You want me to drop you home? Or shall I stop an auto rickshaw? Where do you stay?" was asked in the "calmest" manner possible! Without waiting for her answer I stopped an auto and told her to rush into it as people had already written down my scooter's license number and one had left to fetch a cop. Me rushed her in the auto and told everyone I will go with her, but as soon as I pushed her in, I told the driver to speed off and me sped towards my scooter, which after a couple of hiccups, roared to life and in time sped from the spot as a couple of musclemen just reached me! That was a close call! But I still fail to understand whose fault it was anyway!

Then I once crashed upon a traffic policeman too. He was crossing the road while cleaning his shoes and me went bang! Fortunately I was on bicycle and all he could do was swear at me! Haha.. fuck ya!

Then one of my school pals had a horrible experience as he was beaten up till he paid Rs.250 to this lady against whom he had crashed and who lay on the road unmoved till he approached her! The moment he got off his bicycle, she started screaming and before he knew it, he was surrounded by 5 people who started hitting him and asked for money! He somehow reached his cycle and started for home! His bad luck! Nobody home and he stayed on the ground floor. Also he being on cycle, it wasn't too difficult for these goons to follow him. So finally he gave them the sum and they let him off! Phew! The next day he came with a fractured arm and black eye and he was the "guy who hit on an old lady" for the next 2 years!

So yeah! Coming back to the point! Car drivers should make rules for everyone as to how one should cross the roads, be it pedestrians, cyclists, auto rickshaw drivers or bikers because they suffer the MOST! Pedestrians have a problem with everyone - from people on a single wheel to people on multiple wheels! Cyclists have a problem with pedestrians alone! Bikers have a problem with pedestrians and cyclists! Auto rickshaws do NOT have a problem AT ALL. They will just crash and dash! Poor 4-wheel drivers suffer tremendously! Hence, guys! Wake up and define road-crossing rules! It's high time! :S

Thursday, August 03, 2006

what women want.. the mystery files!

Women do speak alien!

Me: So you gonna tell him you like him?
Her: No way! Why should I approach first?
Me: Hmm... ego eh!
Her: No man! I don't have no ego issues! But I want HIM to come to me first!

Me disconnects the phone and blames it on bad network!

__________________________________

Me: Wanna eat egg bhurji?
Her: Yea yumm.. let's go to some roadside joint where we get it the best!
Me: Yea.. me loves tht too.. the cheaper the better too eh!
Her: Huh? It's not about money!
Me: J-O-K-E
Her: Cheapo! By the way, you got cash right? I really have to save this week!
Me: Hmm!
(and we ate at a roadside joint)

__________________________________

Her: I just spent Rs.750 on a head massage. For 3 hrs they just oiled my hair and gave it a nice massage

I was speechless!

___________________________________

Her: I am studying GMAT so i can go to the US.
Me: Huh! US? What you planning to take up?
Her: That I don't know. You know he's there in the US right? So let me reach the US first, there I will decide. By the way, you heard "B" is going to Pune?
Me: Yeah! She is taking up some acting courses because her boy friend plans to take up the same from there!
Her: What the hell! Mad woman! Does she ever think about her career!

Me reaches for my gun!

By the way - no one went to Pune and no one gave GMAT, so the US plans are still stranded!

the busy-ness

"I'm a bit busy right now, I'll talk to you later? Chal bye", has been typical Theeta response for five months now.

"Dude, meeting, Jai. Later." Sundy is even breezier!

"Hey sweety, what's up? I am out with Sumitu right now. I'll call you as soon as I reach home okay? Bye, take care", Bec's sugary reply is such.

"Arey I'm out on audit. Call you on reaching home", Gauri keeps his word always.

"I am not even in Mumbai dude. I'll call you on reaching Mumbai" and *click* is how Ash concludes so he is not charged for roaming.

"Studying", "shopping", "outing", "friends", "marraige" and multiple reasons refrain PJ from talking to me!

Tanny does it the best way! DISCONNECT the call! No justification to be given at that point of time as to why and how busy he is!

Isn't very difficult to figure out what to do next! Open blogger.com and type in all the frustration!

Now I do understand how self-centered and selfish I act here. I shouldn't keep calling people just because I miss them! C'mon they have their own lives! They have far more important things to do! They have work to do! Look at me! I do have work to do myself, but I still have time to talk! I fail to figure out how and why is it such a case. Then the insecurities one by one start crowding the mind. "Are they trying to avoid me? Is it all over?" I do not understand why my mind enters this territory at all? But when it starts wandering in the "lonesome" zone, chances are, it stays there till someone breaks the silence and says a nice "Hello" to you! But then I realise that I've wasted too much time pondering over self-created "mysteries"! Feeling stupid I tell the person on the phone, "Hey! Am a bit busy right now, is it okay if I give a call back in sometime?"

Monday, July 31, 2006

Floyd back? Our prayers answered?

Ok! So I wake up and skim through the newspaper and Page 20 of the Times of India brings out a terrific news! Correction! One of THE NEWS of the day! Floyd planning to reunite.... Floyd plan to resolve their differences and plan for a concert in memory of their founder member Syd Barret! (Barret died earlier this month). Now Syd was friends with Roger Waters and David Gilmore both, though he formed the Pink Floyd Sound with Waters and rest, he was Gilmore's classmate and so his friend. All in all, his death has given us a hope that these legends might re-unite! Time for celebrations?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

sleeping in blog.. i mean.. bloggin in sleep :P

I hate to sleep! I really wish I was an insomniac like Abby! So much fun it would be! Stay awake the entire day, not get tired at all, not feel the need for sleep, just keep working. Sleeping is unproductive. Sleep refrains me from enjoying the life. Sleep makes me miss life. I wanna stay awake all life long, and then I would feel like I've lived! But that just doesn't happen! I get tired and just fall asleep, be it in trains, buses; and be it when I'm sitting or standing or walking!! I peacefully rest my heavy head on my neighbor’s shoulder and doze off to sleep. But 98.77% of my neighbors hate this and rudely wake me up (talk about selfishness) or say something like "Boss.. kya?" And after this, 97.31% times I just say "Sorry" and place my head on their shoulders again. Now 77.81% people just push aside the extra burden off their shoulders and either get up or use "fuck off"s in the "decentest" manner possible! Rest just let me be! (Talk about determination)!

I hate love! There used to be a time when I just slept for 2 hours, but in those days I was in "LOVE".. yuck.. so basically I was wasting time. Even love is waste of time. By love I meant the Romeo-Juliet love okay! What the "fuck" do people do when in love? Half the time goes in consoling and comforting and cuddling and hugging and hanging out and sleeping around and .. whateva.. half the time just gets wasted. Basically one loses one's head when in love! One ends up wasting time when in love! Finally this love does end one day, if not due to betrayal, misunderstanding or numerous other stupid shitty lover's reasons, death tears them apart! And then the surviving lover or the affected lover suffers and again he/she wastes time by lingering in the ol' times and times when "life was fun or beautiful or real" or simply when life felt like life (any fucking unproductive shit like that); thus making the current life miserable! Some weirdos even end their life cause they feel "love is life or life is love" ..grrrrrr!!! (courtesy cinema and television)! All in all, life is wasted, life remains unproductive, nothing is achieved, the reason for which we started breathing the oxygen remains unsearched and nirvana cannot be attained! So moral of the story: Love is waste of time too. It brings misery and only misery and we end up wasting our life in love!

I hate money! Money makes us selfish and money buys us all the earthly desires! It makes Satan smile. Money was invented by Satan. It's his "gift" to mankind! I dare you to defy me! We end up wasting time buying and enjoying and craving for earthly desires for which we need and therefore earn money. Thus all work we do for earning money is finally waste of time! So even this work we do in order to better our lives is actually a waste of time and totally unproductive!

I hate blogspot! It is utter waste of time. Since the day I've started blogging, I spend at least 2 hours everyday in thinking I should write up something or reading other's works! So again I make my life unproductive!

Ok! So now analysing my drunkard thoughts: All that we've done so far and all that we plan to do in future is waste of time and unproductive in nature! So we all are living a wasted life! Enjoy the wasting people! Cheers! :P

Friday, July 28, 2006

Floyd!

Two years ago I claimed "Pink Floyd sing lullabys" and Tanny and Sundy used to be all GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR on me. They took that as a personal insult. I used to tell them, "Guys, nothing and no one above Metallica!" "That is because you haven't heard Floyd sucker" used to be a quick shot decent Tanny reply. Sundy is more like me "Fuck you chut(cunt)! You dont know music. Floyd define music. The high you get from listening to that head banging shit is nothing as compared to that you'll get on listening to Floyd! And lullabys.. my ass"! I still paid no heed. Tanny bhai made me download "Hey you" so as to impress me with the guitar solo. I'd always loved "Comfortably numb" but that was the only work I'd liked of Floyd till then. Tanny then tried to impress me with lyrics of "Brain Damage" and screamed the meaning of what Roger Waters was painfully singing in "The Wall" album into my deaf ears! I still stayed sincere to Metallica.

Enter my first Scotch!

So Sundy heard I've never tasted alcohol and I was 20. He felt disgusted to call me his friend.. hehe.. so home he takes me and offers me my first drink. He gave me Scotch from his dad's cupboard and I gulped the 30 ml thing in one go. Now agreed no one gets high in one shot. But then reasons like: It was my first shot and so I WANTED 2 feel high and 30 ml of scotch does give oneself a kick if taken in one go (or so Sundy made me believe) - all added up in giving me a nice kick in some 10 minutes (remember whisky and scotch kick in late.. or so is my experience). So yeah! I said I have to go home now cause mom would be reaching in some 15 minutes and if I go to Sundy's place, chances are I end up staying there, which that day mom wouldn't have allowed as exams were round the corner (bloody law). So while I was hurrying towards the door, I heard some amazing guitar solo being played on Sundy's PC. Now I dunno if it was the post-Scotch effect or simply the Floyd-effect (which I can now confirm was Floyd-effect) but that solo was just kicking in! I was stunned on hearing it. There was something different about it. (Okay, for people who don't know me, the moment I start listening to good guitar solos, I just lose my mind. I dont know what gets into me, just that my eyes close and I am in a totally different world. To see a demo of what I mean, just spy on me when I'm travelling by myself in a train. With the iPod plugged in my ears, you can see me head banging and actually singing these solos). So yeah, this particular guitar solo was so freakin hauting that I just stopped at the door and kept all mum. (I didn't realise Sundy's evil smile then). "That was High Hopes for you" Sundy spoke. "Fuckkkkk!" was my immediate response. "Yes my friend. Welcome to the world of Pink Floyd". And my journey to becoming a Floydian had begun!

This blog I dedicate to Pink Floyd! THE BEST BAND I've ever heard! It is extremely difficult for me to say why Floyd! I mean if you say "So you like Psychedelic eh!" My answer would be a straight "NO. Just Floyd." I've heard psychedelic bands like Deep Purple, Flaming Lips and they are all great. They are amazing no doubt, but something about Floyd is just so different! Their music just takes me to some other world. It takes my mind to a state which is just so beautiful. I never wanna get outta that state. I feel neither happiness nor sorrow. There is no more anger and frustration left. Basically the emotions just die away! It's the ultimate peaceful state, it is a different kinda kick I get when I switch on Floyd! My mind just leaves behind all those earthly worries, everything and takes me to this different plane! The best guitar pieces I've ever heard, and the haunting vocals of both - David Gilmore and Roger Waters! The intelligent music, lyrics and overall production of albums by the great Waters, the outstanding keyboard play by Rick Wright! Floyd rules now! 2 years now and I'm so committed to Floyd! You see my PC wallpapers, you'll find Floyd, you see my cell phone and you'll find Floyd, you check my profiles, Floyd again! It's like Floyd have taken over me! Here are the list of songs that I feel are Floyd's best creation till date:

a great day for freedom
another brick in the wall (all 3 parts)
brain damage
breathe
careful with the axe euguene
comfortably numb
coming back to life
eclipse
have a cigar
hey you
high hopes
is there anybody out there
mother
mudmen
nobody home
pigs on the wing
run like hell
shine on you crazy diamond
sorrow
the final cut
the great gig in the sky
the gunners dream
time
us and them
vera
welcome to the machine
wish you were here
your possible pasts

Floyd! They rock! Floydian music is something that I cannot explain. I fail to find words. I think it is just one of those things that you just have to experience yourself to understand!

How I wish they never broke up! They were just so awesome together! C'mon Waters and Gilmore and Wright.. make up.. you dunno how sad I feel on reading your break-up stories. (I cry more for their break up story than my own personal one :P) And then the way you guys bitched against each other! C'mon man! A decade of friendship can't be just erased! Guys! We want you back so so so badly! There's no one better than you! Ah well.. if only my voice reaches you.. if only us million Floydians could reach you and you heard us, may be then you would care! Shine on you crazy diamond(s)! :)

bad morning

I'm all grrrrrrrrrrrrrr right now! Damn it! Since 7 freakin days I had something in mind. I wanted to put up something stupid on this blogspot but it was either the freakin blogger.com that failed to open or my work that came in my way, and if both weren't a problem then there had to be some jerks lingering around me refraining me from thinking or typing in peace. So today I woke up at 5 am so I post SOMETHING here. I was so fucking desperate to put up the 3 blogs that I had in mind, but it had to happen! My brains had to desert me right then! My thoughts had to stop flowing right then! I just wasn't able to find no right words. I wanted to type something funny (now I know some of you will say, "Duh! You and funny! Dude! Serious? Since when?") But then my midle finger would quietly go up to those suckers and I would still type in what "I" feel is funny. Okay agreed it's not rib-tickling funny, nor is it something that will make a dying man die laughing. I'ts not even intellectually challenging (frankly 'cause I lack that kinda intellect). It's just plain dumb funny. It is total sarcasm which, of all people, makes the most important "ME" smile! And that's so bloody important! (hate to admit it, but that's all that matters. And accept it you suckers that it's the case with you too!) But no! Today when I sacrifised my precious 2 hours of sleep so I could type in some shit, I had to be at loss of words! I had to be all blank! I had to end up staring at the white blank screen and finally end up playing my guitar in THE WORST possible manner making me even more frustrated. I am so goddamned frustrated right now that if you give me a gun, I would probably end up shooting YOU! Grrrrr... What the hell! I mean why? Just fucking WHY? To an extent I blame that sucker Marc for my failure to come out with right thoughts. Damn it! I just asked for an advice as to how and where I should improve my writing and he ended up crucifying my so-called "originality". He told me to cut down my "fucks" and "shits". My ass is gonna do that now! I don't mind if I'm too predictable, I see it as being consistent :P. Without the everyday swears how the hell will it look like it's coming straight from the heart? I mean look around you - about 97.57% people are frustrated and all of them are just saying or are on the verge of saying a "Fuck you"! It is there on everyone's tongue. Then why not in my written works? Just so it becomes "readable"? What kinda nonsense is that? Now don't act up all "nice" and so-called "decent" and tell me you never swear at anyone. I will then be forced to say "FUCK YOU"! Don't tell me you've never used the F- word or never even thought of it! Balls man! You try ta sell that crap to someone else okay! Not to me! I know how ugly you are within! There's not much difference between me and you; just the fact that I project it whereas you hide it! Curse you man for being such a hypocrit! You really should be ashamed of yourself for faking this "innocence" all life long! Be what you are and be proud of who you are! If you fuckin' feel too embarassed to do that then just go die! Because anyway you are living a fake life. Showing a fake clean face when you yourself know how dirty you are within! That is sick okay! So yeah Marc, getting back to the point, I won't curb "my style" 'cause frankly it's not even my style, it's EVERYONE's style and modifying it simply restricts my flow, it just arrests my thoughts. So no more trying to write the "nice and decent" way. It's all gonna be my way. If people like it then I'm happy. Good for them too. If people don't then they may kindly fuck off! I forgive them :P.. grrrrrrrr...

MARC: Thank you dude! You tried to help. You did give me your suggestion so as to make me better. But trust me man, it just fucks up everything. Never in my life have I taken more than 15 minutes to write down my thoughts and today it took me 2 hours and still I wasn't able to express myself. My writings just never seemed complete! So I just ended up wasting time I had and nothing good (except this post propbably) came out of it. Nothing against you my brother! You did try to help me, but the adamant and arrogant me just wanna stay the same! :) Peace eh! Love ya man! See ya!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Equilibrium

That was a nasty dash! I mean if I can make a 90+ kg female fall on her face, it just has to be a nasty one! But not that I didn't suffer the crash; I was pushed back and landed on my back, just millimetres away from the 2 floor stariway! Therefore instead of a normal "bastard", I heard "be careful young man" from the "fallen" woman! The sympathy was more towards my physical state than my "downfall". She saw the sweat running down my face as I tried to catch my breath. Twice I tried to lift myself up but twice I fell to the ground. Before anyone could lend me a helping hand I forced myself to my feet and after a super-quick sorry to the lady, I rushed again to get hold of my LOVE! After a long 8-month wait, today I wanted to feel her and this was desperation at it's peak!

After "I don't care, I have to leave right away cause my guitar is ready and I need it and that's all I care" to my boss, and rush to the guitar guy with a blank cheque - which was cruelly denied because of a duped past experience - so a dash to the nearest bank during its closing seconds and mindless pleading with "absence-of-glycerine" tears to withdraw the required amount using a crossed cheque - in short conning the banker - and then bringing down the lady plus the most important "myself", and collapsing in front of the guitar guy's door on hitting the doorbell, my prima love - the sexy black coloured GB&A pro semi-acoustic smooth sounding guitar was in my arms all ready to be played! With the "owner's pride" smile, I started on my way home. I then had the urge to call my best pal to tell her my love is with me. Then it all started!

"Life is fair?" we all ask, and it was July the 14th 2006 that proved how fair life is! No - am not being the usual sarcastic me here! Looking at the incidents from a third eye, it was crystal clear that life is fucking fair!

After 3 days of handicapped life, my cell phone was back - completing the incomplete and that was a terrific news! After 8 months of long wait and 2 months of savings, my guitar had finally arrived and this was one of THE BEST news EVER to me! But then laws of nature were affected and God said, "Hey dude! Let's play!"

So "Our law results are out" was what my friend told me and burst into tears. The super-confident me told her to be calm and said "Don't worry sweets, you will get through. "I got first class you jerk" was the quick shot reply! Now I fail to understand how that makes anyone sob AT ALL! I mean you get a first class - you don't waste time crying mate! You catch some transport, make a few calls and you land at the nearest bar to celebrate! But the day I understand the working of a female brain, that will be the day I will cry! (Sarcasm you fucking idiots!) So yeah! I went home and as I was about to unzip my baby's clothings God said, "Dude, check your results first and then we may play 'my friend of misery' mate, what say?" (For those dumbfucks who don't know metallica, they wouldn't know "my friend of misery" either). But I never knew I would be the dumbfuck here! So I zipped her back and headed to check my results. Now I was confident as hell here! Three semesters I had come out clean. Agreed this wasn't that great an exam I had written but considering the state I had given the exam in, a failing in 2 papers was kinda self-excused! But that would mean I would still reach the final year! So the proud me stepped before the charts and well - every man expects the best out of him - so me first stands before the list showing "first class" graders and expectedly I didn't find me. "Hehe.. High hopes I tought" and the supremely confident me unlocked the keypads of my cell to make a call home as I started my search in the second class list. I just had to enter "Dial" now. But then after 10 minutes (2 minutes really) of frantic search, with a tinge of disappointed me moved on to Pass Class List. "Hmm.. So I have got a KT it seems" as my name didn't appear in that list either. Moving on I checked the KT list. And then God said "Sorry dude! But law of nature comes into play here. I have to maintain the law of equilibrium. Two best things in cell and guitar you got today. Well just one bad news, you have to repeat the year. See ya man." After a silent goodbye I was left wondering HOW? I mean it just has happened? HOW? No reply as expected. Sat on my scooter and headed home. Opened my guitar and strummed "Wish you were here". Well wish you were here!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

June 7, 2006.. 13.20 hrs

Trust me my days are never funny! Me and fun also stay million miles away from each other. No.. don't get me wrong, I enjoy my life in my own lonesome way.. but yeah.. that's the story.. lonesome! Now its one dreaded disease... Cure anyone?

Okay.. Lets see how was today! At 3 am I was nicely dreaming of this cute chick in my law class when the harsh phone ring DISTURBED me! Lemme dream in peace mate! But it was important as this old guy fell off his bed and there was no one to help him.. so try ta come down asap and get him on the bed please.. was the nurse's cry for help! Yeah alright.. the cute gal can definitely wait.. So off I went and placed the poor guy back on his bed.. I mean I really felt for him.. though he was nothing but irritating in his old-but-fit days.. you somehow can't feel less than sympathy for the old and helpless.. So yeah! There was company there as some other "mate" from my building had come to offer his services too.. It was 3 am and I just wanted to get back to my bed, my sleep, my dream, my cute gal and this bozo starts "This guy has 3 sons.. not one but 3 sons" ... 'Yeah dude i know.. so?' "And no one's there to help him today.. Isn't that sad?".. I just offered him a 'Yeah man.. I agree'-kinda grin and raced upstairs. I mean yeah true we can't do nothing about it except just help, but 3 am wasn't the best time to express how sad you felt for none of his 3 sons being present there to help him! So I rushed home and tried to sleep. But I'd lost the cute chick and didn't quite get that happy sleep!
Woke up at 6.30, and was thinkin of stayin home.. but kicked my laziness and phew! threw my ass outta home.. gotta earn.. crap! I hate this.. I mean I love my work.. but I hate travelling for like 55 min of my day (and mind you its just one way 55 min) all alone.. and not like crowd of people are awaiting for me at office.. just a peon and some college dude! My boss just got a kid so he's gotta stay home! what the hell.. even I wanna marry, but the gal is gone.. oh.. fuck that story! Even I'm bored thinking of it! So yeah! I reach office and I realise there's nothing to do! So I sit down and enter this stupid blogger.com to type down my misery! Anycase... day's still not done! I'm sure there's more to this day! Let's see!

That bitch!

I don't hate dogs, dogs hate me!

Now trust me, I say this after 23 years of dealing with dogs and bitches! No matter how friendly I try to be with them, no matter how nice I try to be to them, they just don't stop to freakin hate me! I mean, you kinda know that they hate you when they bark at you, snort at you, basically give you the "I hate you" look! But I kinda always liked them! Something about dogs that I just like.. yeah.. no matter how much I want them to like me, they hate me and they stay away from me.. I respect that, unlike us humans who, if they hate you, will come in your way to fuck up your already fucked up life! So yeah.. I dedicate this coloumn to all you fuckin bitches and their sons! :P

There's this bitch who stays in my building. It's a stray bitch.. and no.. it's not officially adopted by anyone as such but is faithful to this weirdo who stays on the second floor. Now their love story was as good as unnoticed till someone stole a car from our compound! So there was some sorda society meeting in which all the problems faced by everyone were discussed. That is when this isssue of this bitch lying in the building everyday was brought up. Trust me, she's the only dog of her kind who's never barked at me. She's got very sad eyes which just keep looking at you. They actually are those begging eyes which are kinda begging for love (may be)! You just look at her and you feel for her man! trust me! She does nothing, just sits around right in front of the main gate and just abstains from moving, no matter how much you "bark" at it, she'll just look up to you and give the "Hey! don't you have anything better to do than to disturb me" kinda look! Finally you give in, she sleeps again and you walk past her.. everyone's happy! But humans have to have problem with that. Now personally me feels that the only difference between this dog and the rest of the tenants is that she doesn't pay the Rs. 100 rent at end of every month! Besides, she is much well behaved to others! She doesn't dirty our already messed up compound! A nice bitch really! So yeah.. someone was talkin bout gettin a dog van to get rid of her and this weirdo stood up and openly admitted his love towards her! The entire meet felt silent, it was one of its kind, but it was good to see them all open their minds, leave behind their conservative thoughts and accept this strange love! So all done now, the bitch resides outside the weirdo's door! We all saw her tummy growing for some months, we were dying to see the hybrid newborns. Trust me even sketches were made, some said it would have a dog face, others expected a dog body, the concept of tail enthralled us all! But sadly the babies were never disclosed before the world! Rumour has it that they lay hidden in his "never visited" borivli office! Unfortunately no one has the time and patience to rob into this place to find out about the new borns! But come what may.. what makes my "heart" happy is the fact that the conservative minds opened up to the fact that a man can love a bitch and live happily ever after!