An Outstanding Coverage of Rainfall By IBN7

IBN7 reports live from the "flooded" streets of Bombay on a relatively wet day of monsoon:

"Log apni jaan bachaane ke liye dekhiye kaise bhaag rahe hai." Looks around to find no one. "Shayad sab log ghar jaa chuke hai", he promptly puts in. Luckily, he spots two guys crossing the road a few metres away. Dutifully, he stops them in their tracks and questions "Aap kahaan jaa rahein hai", to which the first guy obediently replies, "ghar". The second guy is asked "Kya aap bhi ghar jaa rahein hai?" "Nahi, boat lene jaa raha hun", he says and runs away. Our very intelligent reporter then screams, "Aap dekh sakte hai kitni baarish ho chuki hai yahaan, ki log boat kharidne ki baatein kar rahein hai." He then showed the perfectly normal wet roads, which merely seemed like they'd been washed clean by rains, and made them an epitomy of a flooded Bombay.

Within minutes, the rains had nearly ceased, so our beloved reporter [still standing on the same road, but now without his umbrella] reports, "Aur mere sources se mujhe pataa chal raha hai ki barsaat ruk chuki hai. Lekin mere khayal se yeh barsaat nahi rukegi, 3-4 din tak chalti hi jaayegi." We all are weathermen, aren't we? When questioned about the heavy rains causing floods due to high tide, he promptly replies, "Problem yeh hai ki high tide shuru ho chuki hai magar baarish ruk chuki hai. Is liye high tide ka kya asar Mumbai pe hoga yeh nahi keh sakte."

Yeah, I'm jobless and bored.

Fear Of The Bark

I am the man who walks alone
And when I'm walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

[A soft bark keeps playing in the background]

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious of that bark

Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a constant fear that someone's barking there
Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a phobia that some someone's smelling me

Have you rode your bikes on that road
And have you felt your hands go cold
When you're reaching for the brakes?
Sometimes when you're scared to take a look
At the back of your right foot
You've sensed that someone's smelling you

Have you ever walked alone at night
Thought you heard a bark behind
And turned around and a dog is there
And as you quicken up your pace
You find it hard to look again
Because you're sure there're two more there

Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a constant fear the dogs are barking there
Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a phobia that dogs are chasing me

[A heavy distorting barking solo]

Watching flight 666 an hour before
You've had a beer and some more
The unknown canines on your mind
That sleeping dog is playing tricks
You sense, and suddenly eyes fix
On chasing shadows from behind

Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a constant fear that someone's barking there
Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a phobia that someone's smelling me
Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a constant fear that dogs are always near
Fear of the bark, fear of the bark
I have a phobia that dogs are chasing me

When I'm walking a dark road
I am a man who walks alone

Original lyrics for reference here.

[Twisted] Perception

Looking at the world around it really makes me wonder at the amount of selfishness it’s filled with. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as it doesn’t quite hurt the other beings around you, but being in a society that really can’t happen. Our actions will always, be it our choice or not, affect someone else in a way [good or bad is a matter of perception].

Look at human beings producing children. First of all they are not happy with their lives. They want more and more and more and more. You give them everything and then, in the name of evolution and progress, they stay insatiable, attached to everything they don’t own, but only perceive as theirs. The most ridiculous thing that human beings get attached to is another human being, who is the most volatile substance on this earth.

Human beings are obsessed with playing God and controlling everything around them. We are power hungry, greedy animals, with no respect for another. We say we do respect and we love someone else. That’s one of the biggest of lies we tend to believe in. No one can dare love a person who loathes you, disrespects you. Why? Cause we are selfish. We want to own a certain person so we can mutate him into a being we want. We like to play around with him and make him one of our creations. We want to be God. In fact, love is the biggest hoax this world has created. Don’t get me wrong, love is an excellent marketing tool, look around you. Love sells. Entertainment sector is selling love in hordes and we are buying it. Shops are selling love in cards and we are paying for it baby! Love, the term, I guess was creation of a genius. A gold mine that it is, you can sell anything in the name of love.

Look at these stupid kids falling in love every second day or choosing their “the ones” for lifetime. “I need a companion” they say,” A boyfriend, a girlfriend, a friend, my future family, my current family, my substitute family, so I don’t die alone, so I don’t breathe alone.” It’s a fashion statement which we all like to wear. I own have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. “You need to have one, cause everyone around you has one, hell, who wants to end up all alone”, you say, “you need a companion to share your life with”. Sorry, but statements like these make me cough my guts out.

Then there are families. Marriage or committed relationship of its kind is another way to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend for yourself. Is this an enforced trust or just a mere license to sex? Given a choice, every human being would love to have multiple companions, multiple people he or she can sleep with. Many will accept this fact, some won’t. I call them idiots and escapists; escapists because, they can’t even be true to themselves. They don’t have the courage to accept that their so-called wrong thoughts are not even one bit wrong or unethical and just plain animal psyche-driven. But marriage is a special bond or prison which shall restrain you from sleeping around with another companion [or such are the conditions of it]. Commitment is another word they designed to justify their “Godship”. After a few days, years or months of marriage, the oh-so-selfless human beings produce children to bring further happiness to their lives. Don’t get me wrong, children are a bundle of joy and I myself enjoy spending time with kids, but it still doesn’t justify my “right” to bring another life to this earth. No purpose, no meaning. “To keep this human race alive”, some say. I really wonder how many people are making children out there for the sake of humanity. If I had the balls to do so, I’d blow this human race away and end everyone’s miseries all at once. But again, I am no God to choose over your life and your right to live. So I should just mind my own business, I guess.

I’d really like to question families on why they go on to make babies, and most of them might voice, “Support for when we grow old and feeble”. So, you take care and nourish your baby, give him or her good education, so that one day he or she becomes rich and becomes your staff. You have the power to bring life to this earth. But do you really have the power then, to own this life you give birth to? For all you know, your assumptions can come crashing down all at once if the kid dies at your young age, or his young age and you are in “need” of him or her, or if he just runs away on you, or worse, he throws you off the cliff to fetch a staff for yourself. Now that would be funny, your own creation telling you to get the hell out of his life. Your chances of playing God gone for a toss. No control, no power, life of a pauper?

Need? Seriously, do we ever need anyone, at all? Can’t we just be self-sufficient and satisfied?

Then there are other idiots who claim that children are a symbol of their love. Is it a proof that they had lots of sex while they were still potent? Or is it again the fear of the unknown gripping them and so they make kids so they can still feel the existence of themselves surviving on this earth after they are long gone. Everyone is afraid of death. Nothing to be ashamed of here, life after death is completely unknown and only theories can be constructed to know what happens after. I call that fair. If you look at our lives, it’s just lived on these theories, these vague ideas. Our lives are never defined, never structured really. We are brought here blank and naked. Then we are dressed to meet the needs of the society and are given the power to think. We are even made to believe that we have a choice. Then we start “knowing” things around us. We start gaining intelligence, become “enlightened” and knowledgeable. I say, we become more and more stupid as we grow old and “wise”. We fill our heads with ideas and perceptions. We never know what life is about really, but just take an idea and live with it the whole life. It keeps mutilating no doubt, but one idea only is replaced by another. This defines our course of life. Just an idea, just a thought, and nothing more is our destiny. So, while we are walking our course and while we are breathing that air, we are aware of our surroundings. But we are not aware of a world beyond this life. This life is a prison with no windows. A heavily guarded, thick walled prison, from where death is the only escape. But we get too accustomed to the idea of life eventually, we get immune by all the good and bad, all the acceptable and unacceptable around us and then we become a part of this prison. We do not then want to go out of here as we do not then have an idea of the world outside the same. We do not then have an idea of a life beyond this prison. We are dying in our lives, drowning, falling, succumbing helplessly, sometimes happily, but definitely timidly, as we choose to rather suffer with someone like us, than with some unknown, unseen [or maybe forgotten] entity. Hence, life is chosen over death and we fear looking beyond. Therefore, create children, so we have a symbol of ourselves alive on this earth, while we are sailing on some other planet. We think we have become immortal by giving life. We think we have created life and hence we are also God. We think we know, but all we have is an idea and thoughts. All this illusion of a world is our creation, so fragile that one whisper of a breath can blow it to bits. Children are our insurance, our security blankets that make us believe, we shall survive on this earth even after our time is done.

There are quite a few couples who make children for business purpose, so they can lead a helping hand to the family business. I respect such couples. They are at least honest about their selfish attitudes. They have the courage to accept that they are creating life to serve them and don’t feed the world other deceptive ideas.

I can just reach to this conclusion from all this. World is selfish, every form of life is selfish, etching its survival at the cost of every other living form. The only person we can love is our own stupid self. The only reason we love our self is because we are afraid to die. The only reason we fear death is because we are accustomed to this prison of a life. If only we dare to step beyond and open up, accept death, will we lose this fear, this selfishness, this curse.

****** ****** ****** ****** ******

“Even Gods are mortal. They die with their followers” - Neil Gaiman

...

Why do fireflies have to die so soon?

...

It's a beautiful day, apart from the fact that we both died today.

Rant

Sometimes you just know that you're fucked and that there is no way out of it. Then you sit down and suffer; you wonder, why has it all come down to this. But there are no answers. There never were any convincing answers to anything anyway. Life is like that - meaningless. We all derive or attempt to derive some meaning out of it. Try to make sense out of it, so we find a reason to breathe our next breath. No, we don't like to give up. Most of the times, 'cause we are afraid to let go of the life, however good, bad or fucked up as it may seem, we are at least aware of it and we don't want to change that, as death is yet unseen. Fear of the unknown and all that jazz keeps us from killing self. Rest of the times, it's 'cause we have hope and faith. Even a person like me has hopes; I really don't know from whom and from what. Somehow there is faith. Can we have faith without having hope? Can we have hope without any faith? Can these two terms be used alternatively? What’s the point of this rant? Nothing! What’s the point of life? Nothing! So, let's buy some idea and start living it.

Quote of the day: No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.

I Recommend Beer...

Many people have been asking me of late, to explain why I consider beer as a medicine. So here is the list of reasons:

1. It cures heartaches, headaches, bodyaches, toothaches and nearly every kinda ache that you'll ever experience in your lifetime.
2. A perfect cure for kidney stone. You down enough quantity of the medicine and it'll get rid of your kidney stone in one night.
3. Cleans your stomach. Fresh start to mornings, takes care of your skin and also no more mouth ulcers. Wohoo!
4. Helps you fall into a peaceful dreamless slumber. Cures insomnia for many.
5. Solves most of the problems that milk just can't.
6. Provides entertainment when taken in right quantity by right people.
7. Makes you brave. Fill yourself with good enough quantity and you are ready to take on the world!
8. Beats the heat. Most suited drink for Indian climate.
9. And last but definitely not the least, unbeatable taste.

My favourite: Heineken

Note: Others are welcome to contribute to this list. I am sure there are more than just 9 reasons.

Scars

As we lie here, sleepless and torn
Like some used abandoned voodoo dolls
With bruises all over our bodies and minds
The needles you jabbed in, got left behind

Making us crumble, making us fall
Look at your God, He's made us crawl
Lost in life, wonder if life is lost
Open your veins, breath's just a lost cause

Smelled the roses and felt the thorns
Saved the sorrow, we aid our rot
We never give up, yet we never lead on
Ashamed of life, let's not get re-born

Too much time, let's run away
Build a cave and hide away
Look at the sun, it brings a shadow
Die in hope of a better tomorrow

Enemy times, we load our guns
Shoot the boy, and kill his son
Shout the war cry, save my wife
Kill that man and make my life

Hail the king now everyone
Three cheers for the entertainment
Three cheers for the deaths
Three cheers for the misery
Long live the king
Long live tyranny

Music

Our life is a movie without a soundtrack. So we create one. Unfortunately, it's never sold in any record stores. So it goes unheard. Just like our lives at times.

Somehow the smile has changed, the talk has changed and the actions, well, they aren't even mine any more. May be I just walked into someone else's life. There were these people, who brought melody with them, I guess I just miss them. They are still here alright, but even they have estranged themselves for their real selves, I guess. I can't judge their happiness, I can only speak for myself. And I'm not happy, I'm not happy to have lost music. It does come back once in a while, just for a few moments, but fades away as fast. And then, all that is left is this errie silence, a dark room and an empty feeling.

I know what can bring it all back; it's all very obvious, to me and to everyone, but I guess, we all are just too busy with our lives to notice how silence has filled us all.

India... Developing?

Let me start this post with a disclaimer. This post comes from an ignorant Indian, who barely knows about Indian history, who barely understands Indian culture, who barely follows Indian politics and in short, who has barely looked outside his own life. However, I am an observer and some things did catch my eye, and being a human being, just like you, I have every right to judge my fellow beings.

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People across the globe are crying about how work is getting outsourced and how they are losing their jobs and money to Indians. We are boasting about the progress we have made and our rapid economic growth and our glorifying and booming IT sector. Then there is a disappointed, disheartened and to quite an extent, disgusted me!

I have been quitting jobs as though I am some special being, who is so much in demand that I shouldn't worry even one bit about where my next monies will come from. Well, frankly, it is cause I am disgusted with the reality. It is cause I choose to not adapt and become one of them.

The way we work:
1. Set unrealistic deadlines.
2. In order to reach them, collect data from some other website. Morals and ethics were never a part of business anyway. And do we even have principles these days?
3. Take a celebrated site, or an accepted design, collect elements from there, and create your "own" design. Ta-daah! We are creative.
Seriously, it is so pathetic, at one of the places, where I used to work, the "creative" director used to just send me link to some websites with a message "the site should look like this, take all the elements you want from this website". The next place I worked was worse. It is one of those big companies, where the creative director, obviously had a bigger [thieving?] mind. He used to lift the entire website [screenshots, along with the individual elements] and place it in the mail stating "make a webpage using these elements". The fact that he kept winning the "employee of the year" award for 2 straight years left me speechless.

C'mon people, just take a look around. There are no beautiful things here. You tell me one Indian logo which is magnificently designed and has won international praise. One Indian movie, which was so different and artistic in nature, that it went on to win awards. We are supposed IT leaders. Well, one Indian website which has won awards. I am registered on most of the forums and blogs which discuss the best designed websites and give away weekly or monthly awards on the basis of votes. In 3 years, I have just come across 5-7 Indian names which were amongst the nominees on these sites and just 1 website, out of these, which was made by an Indian, living in India. [None of these ever won an award. But to get nominated is itself a huge deal]. Unfortunately, it was his portfolio site and it wasn't made for any corporate. Reason is simple, no Indian corporate will give you more than 2 days to design their websites. Ridiculous! Look at the ancient Indian art, look at ancient sculptures and monuments. Were they built in a day?

I can well imagine the conversation between the project manager and his team-members, if the Taj was to be constructed in this age.

Project Manager [PM]: Build Taj Mahal in 3 days, here is the copy of Pyramids, even they used to bury kings and queens over there, just lift those stones and build an original monument like these Egyptian tombs. It won't take time. We have better technology than people back then, so it's possible.
Lazy Team-member [LTM]: Sir, it's not possible to build the Taj in 3 days, even with the available technology. We'll never get time for testing.
PM: We don't need to test. Look at the Pyramids. They don't have any bugs. If we follow the same procedure, we'll end up making similar original structures of high quality and there won't be any bugs. Besides, look at our technology.
LTM: 3 days is too short. Please talk to the client.
PM: I understand it's a tough schedule. But I talked to our Sales head and he said the client won't understand.
LTM: Sir, it's already 5.30 pm.
PM: I know. I hate to do this to you guys always. But even I am getting jacked you see. We have to deliver this project in 3 days. So guys, let's work together and kick ass. The CEO has promised us a raise if we deliver this in 2 days time. So get on with it. Shah Jahan is a big client, we can't let this contract slip away. Anyway, I have to rush home as my wife is having her in-laws for dinner tonight. I need to buy some alu and gobi.

2 and a half sleepless days later:

LTM: Sir, it's done. Ready to deliver.
PM: Good job. Shah Jahan will be proud. Oh wait, here are a list of minor modifications. Won't take you much long. Good for you, you still have half a day left.
[LTM takes a look at the minor modifications and nearly dies.]
LTM: Sir, this is just not possible. Now you want the monument to look like Qutub Minar! We'll have to completely change the design and code.
PM: I know I should've told you earlier, but I know that skilled and talented people like you won't find this a major hurdle and change the design from Pyramid to Qutub in matter of minutes. It's just geometry anyway. Anyway, I won't waste even a minute of your time now, get on with it. I have to rush home for some urgent work. Wife is demanding chicken pulav for dinner tonight, so I have to get some chicken. You know how tough a life of a husband is, being a husband yourself.
LTM: Sir, even I want to go home early today.
PM: Coolio! Finish off this project and off you go. I won't even ask. Tadaa!

The next day
PM: The Taj is still not ready! You morons! I gave you 3 whole days. Why is it still getting delayed!
LTM: Sir, we found some bugs in the code. There were some mistakes in the calculations.
PM: Arghh! There goes our annual bonus. Get it ready by today evening.

The next day Taj is delivered. 3 days later PM gets list of minor changes from Shah Jahan.
PM: Seems like you didn't do a great job LTM. Client is not happy. Here are his suggestions.
LTM: How much time for this?
PM: 3 hours.
LTM: But everything will change. Now it should look like the Colosseum. It's not possible.
PM: Good. Make it possible in 3 hrs. Shah Jahan is waiting.

5 hours later, Taj gets delivered and 2 months later it meets the dust. PM gets promoted and a raise while the LTM gets fired. No one knows how and why. People blame it on the US policy and recession.

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A learned friend of mine, who has keen interest in politics and who is excellent with numbers and other useful information in the field raised a point of how the culture of my/our [Maharashtrian] community is threatened, thanks to some other community's ego. How adamant this "foreign" community is in adapting to Maharashtra and it's language. How we are forced to speak "their" tongue since our school days and how we then start communicating with everyone in "their" language and not "our" language and how only we are forced to adapt and how they lead an easy life, in spite of their adamant nature.
1. Is this so-called "my" culture, so vulnerable and so fragile that some "foreign" community will just sweep it away, to the extent it becomes non-existent?
2. Has it caused any harm to me or anyone for that matter, when I was forced [as he put it] to learn the "other" language? Hasn't it instead, given me an opportunity to learn more about that "other" community, which itself boasts of so many scholars and artists?
3. If someone's ego isn't letting him adapt to another region and it's people and isn't letting him pick up another language, isn't it depriving him of an opportunity to learn something more?
4. Is there really a problem at all? Isn't this confusion just mindless and unnecessary? Is it just me or is it really that our so-called leaders give a damn about our country, our culture and they just intend to instigate people against each other?

He had 2 points:
1. If 10 Maharashtrians are talking and one "outsider" joins them, he'll want them to speak in Hindi, than trying to understand Marathi and adapt. So we speak in Hindi and he isn't at loss.
My point: What do I lose when I speak in Hindi? In fact, if I wanted to plot against him, I can do so in Marathi and he'll never understand a bit of it. His loss?

2. This "outsider" will never reach the South, since people do not speak his language over there. Although Bangalore and Chennai are equally developed, he'll choose Bombay [frankly, I hate to call it Mumbai].
My point: Isn't Bombay like the US? There are only immigrants here. People from all over the country have settled here. If they don't go to Bangalore and South, don't you see, the egos are not letting two different cultures mix? I would love to learn and understand a South Indian language someday. If they don't want to learn mine or any other, it really doesn't bother me. Imagine a person from other country coming to India and not understanding a word of Hindi or any Indian language; he gets duped anyway, but if he is still adamant to not learning an Indian language, he'll face a horror of a time. He will never understand the country and it's people, however long he stays here. Who is at loss?

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Unfortunately, I am not too smart to argue and I barely know statistics and figures to fight back. But then, I am also thankful that I don't. Ignorance allows me to be fair. Ignorance allows me to not develop any prejudices against any of my fellow beings. Ignorance lets me hate everyone equally.

Lessons From The Cubicle: Part 1

Accept you are perfect. The work you do is flawless. You just cannot make any mistakes. Even if you are have consumed two bottles of vodka on an empty stomach and have smoked one kg of weed on the same night, the code you write in that state of mind [assuming you are still conscious and alive], can only be imitated by God. Bugs exist only in your neighbour's code. If anyone points out any bugs in your code, blame your subordinate or your co-worker for his outrageous application of logic but immediately cover his ass by blaming his incompetence on the personal problems he is facing [If he is married, his wife could be dying or he could be going through a rough patch in his married life. If he is single, then damn, you have limited choices], of which one should never speak about, especially to him or in front of him, as he had confided in you and only you and you cannot break his trust. Also you do not believe in gossiping about some colleague's personal life. This is important as he has to be ready to take the next blow. In case, you do not have a subordinate or co-worker, then put the blame on any other person from another department for giving you excess work. But your words should be such that the "bug-pointer" should feel humiliated and disgusted, all because of the person from that other department, whom he respected a lot to this day, till he committed the selfish act of prioritising his own work over the bug-pointer's. If you continue this for a while, then you would soon be successful in making the "bug-pointer" and the "guy-from-the-other-department" sworn enemies. It becomes interesting if both of them are close buddies. Husband and wives should never work in the same office but different departments. Only have sexual relationships with the people from other departments.

Remember always, you are God.

Delhi Murders Justified.. Almost

Conversation between a bored jobless man [BJM] and a tired drunk wage slave [TDWS]:

BJM: Dude.. you read the report on the crazy reasons for which people were murdered in Delhi?
TDWS: No dude, there have been enough depressing things happening in my life these days.

[BJM starts anyway]

BJM: A waiter was killed for not serving papad!
TDWS: We have a papad killer!
BJM: Dude.. this guy can kill for papad. Can you imagine the respect he must be getting from the cooks in the cells! He must be standing right in front and shouting 'Yo! I can kill for papad'
TDWS:: I'd like to know what else he can do for a papad, man.

BJM: Someone was killed for not playing the "right" music at a marriage celebration.
TDWS: Dude.. one can't take more than two songs from Himesh. I am with the killer on this one.
BJM: Agreed.

BJM: A 14-year-old was battered to death with his own cricket bat by his 19-year-old friend, after he refused to admit he was out.
TDWS: Cricket is a game of passion dude. Justified.

BJM: Husband kills his wife for not washing his shirt.
TDWS: I am sure the husband wanted to test if the new detergent, Vanish, can really help vanish the DNA marks off the cloth.
BJM: Getting away with murder.. aah..

BJM: Failure to give bus direction.. I defend the guy
TDWS: Explain...
BJM: Just go to Pune and ask anyone for directions over there. 7 out of 10 times you'll get to the spot where you had met your "guide" and the other 3 times you'll be minimum 99.568 kms away from your intended destination.
TDWS: Well in that case the "guide", as you call him, should be smart. He should give you the wrong direction and should not be present: 1. where he was standing at the time of giving directions 2. where he has led you and 3. at your actual destination of course.
BJM: So when in Pune, you take directions from a shopkeeper.
TDWS: And carry Vanish detergent with you.
BJM: Of course.

Muddy Waters

I see you my friend
A lost soul in muddy waters
Find a passing ledge
So you rest your hands
You feel so safe
And feel so wanted

And another chance goes by
But your eyes were shut
And you were lost in the wrong arms
So deep, that you never woke up

Then the pleasant time is over
And you see another sunset
Holding a new hand, you wonder
Will he be your saviour
So you kiss his cold wet lips
And give yourself in
Well another disappointment
When you wake up all alone

And days, they pass you by
You thinkin', when this chase will end
Don't shed those tears
They're just a passing phase
Is this disgrace?

Running to a new place all day
Stepping in new shoes all night
Waking up as a different person everyday
Do you still remember the real you?

Swimming in muddy waters
Someday come out as yourself
Don't need another hand to save you
All you ever need is you

Summer of '08

[Here is to Divya]

You got your first real six-string
Bought it at five grand damn!
Played it till the G-string broke
It was the summer of zero eight

You and some bro from blog
Had some drinks and got real high
Your bro quit, but you kept drinking
Should've known you'll get hit hard

Oh, when we watched those plays
Those dramas seemed to last forever
And if we had a choice
Yeah, we'd never be there
Those were the best days of our lives

Ain't no use in complainin'
When I've got a job to do
You spent your life in law school
Only vacations is when we meet yeah!

Sitting at the nearby Mac
We'd eat and discuss life forever
Oh the way we dropped there cheese
We knew the stain'd still be there
Those were the best days of our lives

Back in the summer of zero eight

Man we were kickin' ass
We joined kickboxin' class
We reached NCPA at last
Our talks didn't last forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Sometimes when I have drink with Patrick
I think about ya, wonder what's going on

With the winds in our hair
Ran to the hills like never
Biking to the unknown lands
We thought we'd stay lost forever
Those were the best days of our lives

Back in the summer of zero eight

Raj Thackrey, Shiv Sena - Help Needed

Why are you guys letting the non-Mumbaikar NSGs risk their lives for your junta? Where are your martyrs now? Or have they gone in hiding at the sight of real trouble? Perhaps it's not Marathi Manoos' problem, is it? Looks like changing Bombay to Mumbai hasn't quite helped things, has it?

Thank You

It was a strange world back then, when everything just blew away, all at once - sand in the wind - it was for both of us, all of us; everyone of mine, everyone of you. Now they've opened a new world for us, both of us. As these gates open and as we step in, into this celebration, this carnival, a new home welcomes us, a new life unfolds - this is for all of you, a part of my world, our world, then and now, thank you.

Make Us Disappear

You hide me like that dirty patch on skin
Too ashamed to show the world I'm your sin
In time I know these acids take their toll
To corrode that skin and create a few new holes

In me, you find a shallow man
All for lust, who never understands
This word called love, it's all farce and fake
I know this truth, in love we all betray

Now here I wait for your ghosts to disappear
Here I wait for my time to make it there
Overwrite your past, so I gift you a blank page
Write new words, filled with hate, pain and rage

I touch your skin and it raises dead old days
Those poisoned lives, which need to be erased
Ignite this match and incinerate our lives
At least this love won't die a sad demise

So now is the time to make the compromise
Phantom pain that we need to set aside
Those golden times seem good for TV screens
So here we sit, wrapped in our rags of misery

Smile, while I wait for my ghosts to disappear
Wipe off that smirk, I should be the one you fear
Cry all you can while you have this time to waste
I'll bring my toys and dissipate your nest

Till all of this gets over
I will never leave your side
Strength we derive
From the word that takes our lives

Somehow we'll make our ghosts to disappear
Life is just a mirror now
Someway we'll have our place to disappear
Hell-blessed life gets calmer now

Two Mothers

Hey Mama, look at my face
Blood of an unknown, should I call this disgrace
Should I be ashamed?
But Mama, don't you be mad at me
I was following their call
They've made us blind, don't you see?
In their words we believe

We're just standing in lines
For our Gods to command
We're just living our lives
Burying others in sand

And you believe
We killed them for nothing
But we are told
It was surely worth something

I don't know my mind
Don't blame me Mama
Don't arouse that guilt
That kill just helped me live
My life I got
So I kill more of their lot
I'm just a stupid soldier
Living just for this cause

Don't hate me Mama
'Cause it's not what I want
They said it's a war for peace
No free will I've got

Hell awaits me tomorrow I know
So let me live my day
I use my guns, to shoot them down
So you see your sun next day
(Mama wants to see her son)

Don't you see
I'm going to hell for you
I kill that man for you
Got blood on my hands for you
And you don't want to see me now
Mama, I'm dying to save you
And now you hate me

Drama Queen [The Death Begins]

Hey Drama Queen, where did you go?
The lights are on, five minutes for show

You left your crown, left your make-up,
Bored of death, did you wake up?
Found a new sun in your life,
Or a new hate you can defy?

Hey Drama Queen, we cherished your show
But your dirty tricks, soon became a joke

The audience, they left for home
Change your act, it's just a drone
Your time is up, let's discard you now
Your rape on our minds, let's bring you down

Hey Drama Queen, rush, run away
The crazy man has lived the day

Welcome joker, you're back in town
Sell some smiles, replace their frowns
Let the chaos make it's way
Words are dead, now they'll pay

Grab her gun, let's make our way
Some kill to do now, our highway to hell
We're free birds, we own this town
Madness welcome, let's burn them down

Circle

People under the sun
Come and they go
Living a life
They all say they know

Unknown hands
Hold them close
Tie a knot
Before you let go

Fragile as a whisper
Then it blows away
Dreams - useless scribbles
Erase them away

All these words
Forever they stay
Death it comes
Carrying forever away

Under the sun
We swam together
Pride and ignorance
We breathed together

Then the moment, it came,
We lost our sun
Tired old hands
We all became one

Child Out Of Time

Hey my lost child
It's okay
The sun is out
Now let's just play
We all went down
One by one
But never did we
Decide to die alone

Hey my l'il child
Life's so strange
We all know the smiles
They fade away
But the one l'il curve
That makes my day
Is your sweet sweet smile
That your face's betrayed

Life's a joke
We never shared
In the morning sun
When we didn't care
The wind it came to blow our house away
We held it close and we made it stay

Hey my l'il child
We don't want today
Come tomorrow
We'll be okay
It's a bitch, this life
It never plays fair
Let's quilt our home,
And we'll be okay

Hey my sweet child
We'll be okay
Hey my l'il child
Hey my l'il child
Hey my l'il child

Fade to Be-Lack

Corniness is filling me
To the point of agony

Arghhhhhhh!

A Lost Song

In the winter of my life
The darkness I spread to you
In the dead calm that builds around,
Around me, I hear your whispers

Then time it goes
On it's same ol' course
And i still hold on
To you.

In your words I find
A way to come around
Find me, a lost boy
Holding a broken toy of a world

Then life it goes
On it's blinded course
And I hold on to
The dead you.

We shared we closed
We walked before we froze
In the circle of things
We reached our homes.

Hey Joker

All this perpetual longing for happiness made you stick up that smile on your slippery, soaked skin. But did they ever tell you, that this paint that you wear, doesn't come for free?

Almost There!

Here is my brain
Smash it to pulp.
Hate me as I hate you.
Disown me
Kick me
Suffocate me
I sleep now
Don't wake me up
Goodnight.

Search And Kill

Seeps into me,
It grows.
Finds a way to rip it apart.

A complete house, break it to pieces.
Reside in here, wither away,
But not you.

Drama Queen

Hey Drama Queen, the sun is up
The show will start, put on your make-up

Hey Drama Queen, enter the stage,
Start your act, the crowd awaits

That's the boy, catch his stare
Entertain him, make him care
He likes your story, he won't ignore
The life he lives is a fuckin' bore
Got your audience, shout in joy
Cast your spell on that stupid boy
Make him blind, he will follow
No way out nowhere to go

Hey Drama Queen, here I clap
A word of caution for your newer act

Hey Drama Queen, just look around
That woman in the back, she made a sound

The boy, you keep him far away
Don't ignore him,lest he sways
Let him start his stupid talk,
Ear we give, before we mock
Heart-broken, he weeps away
The joker, he left for miles away
Keep him busy, don't you fail
We need the boy to complete our tale

Careful now, oh, Drama Queen
Hold him tight, so he's never seen
Stick your sad smile on his face
Smear his make-up, strip him bare
Sit by him, hug him close
Make him struggle with your hold

But hold by hold, he slips away
Into the darkness, blind and scared
Woman in the back, she makes her move
Sits him down, feeds new truth

Hey Drama Queen, look around
Air is filled with a new din,
Raise thy sound

Lights get dim, they fade away
One by one they all have left
Empty theatre is your life

On stage, you were alone
The spotlight you so loved
The spotlight you once owned
That spotlight now abandons you

Curtains fall, here is the blade
Slit thy wrist so posthumously you might be hailed
Lights out!

Clay

Brought to life, screaming and breathing
Given an empty brain for start
Worthless as clay, the world's a potter
Give it a shape, your son or daughter

Miracle minds, give them a thought
Forget that head and what he was
Pour in silence and fill in some hate
Mould his life and call it his fate

Now suffered and tired, kicking the walls of his cell
Peeping through holes they call it a maybe
Hope's a prison they've tied you in
Bundled like a packaged box of sins

Your new world is a dream, break the pot to live it
But freedom is a myth, another hope another maybe

Take that seat and watch the TV
They sell you a life you couldn't be in
They build a God to define your wrongs,
Change them to rights, it makes them strong

Done with trying, just nod your heads,
Forget all we sang, erase all we said.
Deluded heads, let's shout in joy
Dandy and fake, we are all born dead

We are Indians...

1. We are Indians. We do not speak of sex. We do not have sex. It is against our culture to even utter the "S"-word. Mallanaga Vatsyayana was a foreigner.

2. We are not the most populous country. It's a sham. There hardly are any Indians in this world. We are getting extinct since we do not know anything about "S". Save Indians. Make Indians.

3. Our constitution grants us the right to litter and spit. It is our fundamental duty to verbally or physically abuse, any person, (esp. if he is an Indian) who attempts to deprive us of our right to spit and litter. Sec. 325(i)dont(care) of IPC, gives right to the "spitter", to make the "preacher" spit ten times in a row on ten different streets each, after forcing a beatle(beetle) leaf with tobacco in his mouth. I believe this measure shall help the "preacher" to understand the concept of colours, and the real meaning behind the term "colourful nation called India".

4. Gutters, drainage pipes, pavements and footpaths are foreign terms, not well-defined in any Indian language. So we do not use them, I mean the terms. Here is the real and correct definition of the same:

Gutter:
i) Indian for thrash-can or dust-bin.
ii) A public-cum-private disposal unit situated outside every Indian household/building.
iii) A strategically located dust-bin outside every compound wall, so that the residents do not have to store the garbage inside their compounds. It also helps to store rain water during the times of floods. An excellent provision made by the government for the convenience of Indians.
iii) A shelter for rats and other rodents, many-a-times invaded by stray-dogs and stray-cats.

The civilizations of Mohenjo-daro and Harappa used it for reasons unknown and unheard of to Indians. Some rate it waste of space in the surprisingly crowded India where we do not even talk of "S".

Pavements/Footpaths:
i) A part of the road reserved for hawkers, beggars, homeless and for storage of domestic and public waste and mortars when the gutters are full. Walking on them can prove hazardous to your health. Use the roads.
ii) During the times of traffic jams, these may be used by two-wheelers as a road itself.

Drainage Pipes:
A pipe connecting the households to the gutters for the convenience of disposal of household waste of all forms. It is however not advisable to dispose off plastic and hair through these pipes, as Indians are yet to master the technology of making such form of waste travel along smoothly. Hence, gutters have to be accessed directly for disposing the same. Inncovenience is regretted by the government.

5. We are an open-minded Indian family. We will accept bride of our son's choice. Our only conditions are, she has to be an Indian (of course), a Hindu (it's religion finally), a Maharashtrian (she should speak our language, how else can we communicate), a Bhramin (race matters). She shouldn't be consuming alcohol or smoking cigarettes as it is against our culture (what our son does and how he lives is none of her business) and if she has even heard the term "drugs", then she has put her family to shame. But we are a very open-minded, well-cultured, Indian family.

6. We Indians, strongly believe in intolerance towards your language, race, religion, region and every other single feature that is distinct from us. We are determined to not accept and never adapt "the others".

7. We will never contribute, in anyway, towards our race, religion, region or language but we shall stay proud and arrogant and we shall hate every single person, not belonging to our caste, race, religion, region. Our hate was not, is not and will never be justified.

8. We are given the freedom of speech. We can use this freedom to the extent that we follow the condition of not affecting the feelings of the "sensitive ones". If we get affected by the same, it is not their problem.

9. When we see a celebrity. we have to keep staring at her till she starts feeling awkward and leaves the place.

10. We are Maharashtrians. We will only eat at a Maharashtrian restaurant.

11. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we have dishes from all over the world listed on our menu. But we will never serve them since we never cook them. We list them only to decorate our menu.

12. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we speak only in Marathi. If the customer cannot speak the language or he cannot understand the same, then it is his problem.

13. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, after we clean your table, the floor gets dirty. Cleaning the same is the floor-cleaner's problem. Waiter can only help him to an extent by kicking the same below the customer's table. Customer should mind his feet. If they get dirty in the process, then it is not the waiter's problem.

14. You cannot "abuse" the food by saying it's half-cooked, over-cooked, not-cooked. The chef may relax. It is not his fault if the customer doesn't like the food he made.

15. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we do not ask the customer if he wants anything more after he is done with his meal. We do not take your orders again and again. We just hand you over the bill. Please leave fast. There are others waiting.

16. We are Indians and we swear to never improve.

Summer That's Breezing By

Some things noteworthy:

1. I quit my job, yet again and started working on my own, yes, yet again; only this time, with more determination; as a result, I'm still jobless. Give me work.

2. After immense struggle, that lasted for a month and a half, got rich for a while, but then I had to spend on certain things that eventually became necessities. So I need your money again. Give me work.

3. Patrick quit smoking, I quit cribbing. We all are getting rid of our bad habits.
(Note: The above two points are not complaints. They are just present situations, exemplified.)

4. Divya, my dear l'il e-sis, finally came home. She forced me to play the guitar, then she suffered the consequences.

5. Divya started listening to Alice in Chains. Things are looking much better now.

6. Spent an entire night on phone with someone (seven straight hours). Then she went off to sleep after promising to call me on getting up. It's been a month and a half, I think she's still sleeping.

7. Survivied one of the most embarrassing moments - got high on a pint of beer. The embarrassment didn't stop at that. It continued with Divya and Virus, degrading my name on their respective personal-yet-public blogs. However, the love still prevails.

8. I am in love again. It's beer this time.

9. The jobless me started a job site to help other jobless people like me.

10. Did a certificate creative writing course. There they taught me to read. I gave up on writing after that.

11. Lost 8 kgs more in just 2 months. My mother freaked out and told on me to our family doc.

12. Cell phone bills fell drastically from Rs.1200 to Rs.300 and then again got back to Rs.800.

13. A magazine went ahead and published 3 of my stories. That was the closest I got, to becoming famous.

14. Thanks to the terrible music programs that run on the television, my intolerance towards other forms of music increased.
(Note: I am not cribbing. It's the state of mind.)

15. Joined kickboxing classes with my dear sister. Divya and I, now fight crime. BEWARE!

16. The stupid siblings got plastered at the most unlikeliest of places. Then we shared some deep dark secrets. Then we both got embarrassed. Alright, I had no reason to feel embarrassed about anything.

17. Watched a weird play with Divya at NCPA. The debate that went on after the play ended was the best moment of that evening.

18. Divya and I, got lost more than a couple of times in our very own Bombay.

19. My hatred, anger and loathing towards the Thackrey family and our government in general worsened, and I'm all the more determined on becoming a terrorist soon. That's right, kill me now while you still can.

20. Finally found a terrific graphic designer in our very own Monty. Hope things stay as smooth.

21. Family drama returned to haunt us, yet again. Only this time, the heroes became the villains and the villains, well they are still the villains.

-------------

The summer is gone and the rains are here. But the good part is the sun is still shining. So long then.

Song For The Day

Parikrama - Open Skies