bad morning

I'm all grrrrrrrrrrrrrr right now! Damn it! Since 7 freakin days I had something in mind. I wanted to put up something stupid on this blogspot but it was either the freakin blogger.com that failed to open or my work that came in my way, and if both weren't a problem then there had to be some jerks lingering around me refraining me from thinking or typing in peace. So today I woke up at 5 am so I post SOMETHING here. I was so fucking desperate to put up the 3 blogs that I had in mind, but it had to happen! My brains had to desert me right then! My thoughts had to stop flowing right then! I just wasn't able to find no right words. I wanted to type something funny (now I know some of you will say, "Duh! You and funny! Dude! Serious? Since when?") But then my midle finger would quietly go up to those suckers and I would still type in what "I" feel is funny. Okay agreed it's not rib-tickling funny, nor is it something that will make a dying man die laughing. I'ts not even intellectually challenging (frankly 'cause I lack that kinda intellect). It's just plain dumb funny. It is total sarcasm which, of all people, makes the most important "ME" smile! And that's so bloody important! (hate to admit it, but that's all that matters. And accept it you suckers that it's the case with you too!) But no! Today when I sacrifised my precious 2 hours of sleep so I could type in some shit, I had to be at loss of words! I had to be all blank! I had to end up staring at the white blank screen and finally end up playing my guitar in THE WORST possible manner making me even more frustrated. I am so goddamned frustrated right now that if you give me a gun, I would probably end up shooting YOU! Grrrrr... What the hell! I mean why? Just fucking WHY? To an extent I blame that sucker Marc for my failure to come out with right thoughts. Damn it! I just asked for an advice as to how and where I should improve my writing and he ended up crucifying my so-called "originality". He told me to cut down my "fucks" and "shits". My ass is gonna do that now! I don't mind if I'm too predictable, I see it as being consistent :P. Without the everyday swears how the hell will it look like it's coming straight from the heart? I mean look around you - about 97.57% people are frustrated and all of them are just saying or are on the verge of saying a "Fuck you"! It is there on everyone's tongue. Then why not in my written works? Just so it becomes "readable"? What kinda nonsense is that? Now don't act up all "nice" and so-called "decent" and tell me you never swear at anyone. I will then be forced to say "FUCK YOU"! Don't tell me you've never used the F- word or never even thought of it! Balls man! You try ta sell that crap to someone else okay! Not to me! I know how ugly you are within! There's not much difference between me and you; just the fact that I project it whereas you hide it! Curse you man for being such a hypocrit! You really should be ashamed of yourself for faking this "innocence" all life long! Be what you are and be proud of who you are! If you fuckin' feel too embarassed to do that then just go die! Because anyway you are living a fake life. Showing a fake clean face when you yourself know how dirty you are within! That is sick okay! So yeah Marc, getting back to the point, I won't curb "my style" 'cause frankly it's not even my style, it's EVERYONE's style and modifying it simply restricts my flow, it just arrests my thoughts. So no more trying to write the "nice and decent" way. It's all gonna be my way. If people like it then I'm happy. Good for them too. If people don't then they may kindly fuck off! I forgive them :P.. grrrrrrrr...

MARC: Thank you dude! You tried to help. You did give me your suggestion so as to make me better. But trust me man, it just fucks up everything. Never in my life have I taken more than 15 minutes to write down my thoughts and today it took me 2 hours and still I wasn't able to express myself. My writings just never seemed complete! So I just ended up wasting time I had and nothing good (except this post propbably) came out of it. Nothing against you my brother! You did try to help me, but the adamant and arrogant me just wanna stay the same! :) Peace eh! Love ya man! See ya!