Sunday, September 20, 2009

tears baby, tears

Sadness decends upon the proper earth as my guitar strings break and the club I supported for the evening lose out to the over-rated, much-hailed red-coloured-cheats. Darkness fills the night, not only cause it's 9.30pm, but also 'cause the busy boy hasn't got a single e-mail since 4pm.

No, trust me, it's driving me insane. Usually, I'm so much in demand, I am the guy who gets an e-mail every two minutes during the daytime [including spam, but who cares], and I'm the guy who wakes up to a minimum of ten unread email messages and mind you that's a minimum number ten for you. It's been 4 days and counting, I've just received about ten emails. What has happened? Why this sudden quietness? Has the world forgotten me? I am feeling fuckin' abandoned here! What in the name of Holy Satan have I done to deserve this? and were the only two regulars who mailed me to ask me if I was doing fine, rest of the websites, they've just acted as if they don't care. Why? Have they erased me from their mail-list? Should I re-subscribe or will that seem too desperate a move and will attract un-needed attention?

Insecurity is filling me, to the point of agony. Sigh! Don't abandon me internet, cause I need you? Can you feel my tears, can you feel my fuckin' pain? Can you feel it, baby? Can you see me bleeding? I even went on to check my spam folders and surprise hit me like a kick on my nuts, NO SPAM! SONOFADOG! No one's selling me viagra anymore? No one's selling me a seat to some MBA course? No more "Enlarge your penis" ads? Don't they no longer think I'm worth it? Am I really losing my audience? Is this damnation? I thought I was important, I thought I was something, I believed them when they said "Devil is within you, all you need to do is find Him in you" and I did, or at least I thought I did. I hailed Him, I praised Him, and yet, and yet, just ten emails in four days.

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