Tick-Tock Waste Away!

Wake up, switch off the fan, if the sun's not out already, switch on the light, switch on the desktop monitor and check if the last night's downloads are complete. Check your mail and switch off the monitor. Brush your teeth, enter the kitchen, make some tea, eat a bit, if you have time then do some exercise, go through the newspaper, clean yourself, head for work. Use the transportation if you must, wear on that ipod so you stay entertained while you travel or if you are lucky enough to find a vacant seat in the train, sit and read the half-read book. Reach work, exchange good mornings and begin the day. Work, take a break, chat a while, work again, eat your lunch, chat with the people on the other level, get back to your seat, back to work, finish off your day's task, switch off the computer, leave your office, head to the station, get in the train, defeat the chaos with the help of the ipod, head home, have dinner, make a phone call if you must, talk to someone if they have time, switch on the monitor, start a new download, have your dinner, enjoy the previous night's download if you must, read the half-read book, now go to sleep and end the day. 

Now all the moments of breathing.

Open your eyes, see a new world, learn their language, adopt their gods, adapt to their styles, go to school, educate yourself, get a job, get married if you must, have kids if you must, retire from work, wait for the end. Most of the times, the fullstop might come right after opening the eyes or after seeing the new world or after getting to school or sometimes, if you are fortunate enough, even before all the pre-listed events. 

Now let's analyse.

What is achieved? I read some of Victor Hugo's words on dear Raghu's blog the other day and it struck me that all we do is try to "utilise" time in the most productive way apparently. Now there are moments in the day when we are not really "utilising" this time or apparently when we have time to waste, like when we travel, when we take walks, when we are resting at home after work and then we need some means of entertainment. That is when we feel the need to do something with the time in hand.

Now let's revise every walk of life.

When we wake up and see the world for the first time, we probably have no clue what life has in store for us (and if you think about it, even after we no more belong to the living world, we had failed to understand life and what it had in store for us). But till we are shaped up to think like people around us, we are in someone else's hands to be taken care of. All the time we are surrounded by toys and books and all other means of education or mind-shaping objects which help us adapt to the world. So no matter what, all the time, right from the moment we open our eyes for the first time, till the moment we shut them forever, we are thinking of ways to pass this time we are gifted.

Let's analyse entertainment.

Can we say entertainment means something that you willingly do to keep yourself invovled when you have nothing else to do? Why do we work? To make a living? All this fight is to live. Why do we live? Nope. No answers. No one knows. I shouted out to someone the other day - stop judging and start living and now I ask myself when do I say I feel the life? Music, movies, cafes, hangouts, vodka, weed, cigs, books, work - list of the things we do that keeps us busy. Why do we feel the need of a companion? So we have someone to spend time with when no one's there. So we can stay "entertained" for the rest of our life and not die a sucker lonesome death, no matter if the person is left behind alone, no one wants to be left alone as then apparently one stops living as one does not understand what one wants to do with the time then. Travel, sing, strum, drink, eat, sleep, do sex, play, chat; everything is a means to spend time. Spend time or waste time? Is this the purpose of breathing? "Yes, go on to save others who are drowning if you have so much time in your stupid life", someone screams and I say, "And do what? Help them live? Live what?"

I am afraid to part from my gifts of life, part from my family, my friends, my guitar, my ipod, my so-called secured life just like you. We all are afraid, it's the fear of the unknown that haunts us and why does it haunt us so much? Cause we all are too much in love with our own selves. We are too busy thinking how to love ourselves more and more and waste time in loving ourselves. We waste all the time appreciating life that we actually forget life. We actually stop asking questions. We find it all a hopeless search when we try to find answers to questions like the purpose of existence as we get none. Maybe all these answers are right about us, maybe we are filled with them and they are made up of us or we are made up of them, maybe they lie within us and we just ignored them as we were too busy loving ourselves, distracting ourselves, entertaining ourselves. Maybe we all are just wasting time.