Tuesday, December 18, 2007

For Those About To Shop

In first place I dread shopping for others (esp. for gifts) as I always have this feeling am buying something that he/she is surely going to dislike and will only find it as some burden that he/she has to carry home. Again if I am to shop for a guy, the list is limited to t-shirts, cds/dvds or some electronic gadget I can afford (which I normally can't so that's still an unused option). But I am listless when I am to shop for a female. It's not only scary (read the after-effects of disliking the shit you've gifted her) but also confusing as it somehow is impossible to understand the terms like 'cute' and 'sweet'. And most of the stuff I wear or possess is defined by the fairer sex as dull, boring, bland or other such 'whatever' terms. 

Now a long time ago, in order that I understand a female mind better, I had thought of accompanying my dear friends, Bec and Rita, to a mall. I was soon to realize the only reasons they were thrilled by my presence was, now they had a person with them whom they can easily embarrass. Imagine taking you to a lingerie section, making you stand in the middle of the same and then disappearing in the changing rooms for twenty odd minutes, leaving the innocent you with their lady-purses to take care of! Talk about embarrassing times!

So from that day on, I've started staying million miles away from the ladies' section at a mall. But as they say, someday you have to face your fears, someday there's just no way out, nowhere to hide from them. It happened last Friday.

My sister turned 19 on the 1st of December and somehow I could find time only on the 15th of the month to meet her. I had initially planned to order this soft toy over amazon.com but it went out of stock by the time I was to place the order. So it was the 14th evening and I had nothing to gift her. I left from work early and headed straight to the nearby mall. I had no option, I first called RIta, but she'd left for some reception; then I called up Bec, "I need you to be here! Now!" But my dear friend wasn't to be there for me that day. Then I went through my phone list only to find I can call no one for help anymore. There I was, standing just outside the ladies' section, all by myself, with no aid and listless as ever. 

Fortunately something struck me. I went to the cash counter, "I need assistance, preferably female". The dude over there gave me a suspicious look, "No females sir but the guy in the blue shirt in that right corner will assist you. Please approach him." I nodded my head and went ahead. I was pretty sure this assistant won't be of much assistance but I had little choice. Thankfully, my dear friend Bec had told me what size I should be looking at, so I had some information at least. "Hi, will you help me in buying a top for someone who would be around 5 feet 8 and a bit plummer to me?" I asked him. "Sir, a guy or a girl?" was the worst question he chose to ask. "A top is for a girl of course" I said. Dude, you are standing in a ladies' section, why would you ask such a question in first place? However, he was of big help as the very first top he picked up was the top I finally bought, but not before he took me touring the entire ladies section making me look at all the possible tops which would fit on a 5 feet 8 female, and all I kept telling was, "Nah! I like that I think I will buy that. Thanks anyway." Persistence I tell you. Well, I bought the top and I quickly headed to men's section, breathing the air of relief, feeling like a champion who's overcome one of his greatest fears! And I hope my dear sis liked the top.

Alright sister, hope you enjoyed the exaggerated story and of course the top. Love ya! :)

8 comments:

Divya said...

:D
1) loved it
2) wow u FINALLY got my age right!!
3) i must do the lingerie bit to u :P
4) "assistance please. preferably female" hahahaha the guy must have thought u were tryin to catch hold of some gal to hit on!

another brick in the wall said...

phew! relief! and no u please don't try to pull the lingerie act on me.. its very very embarrassing! and y do ppl take the innocnt me as some sidey guy? doesnt innocence jst shw on my face :S

Virus© said...

"Sir, a guy or a girl?" was the worst question he chose to ask.

ROFFL. :D

Anonymous said...

suk suk suk....i didn't know you were such an indispensable lingerie shopper. i'll take u when i go next too, i can never seem to make the right decisions...hahahahahaha.....

another brick in the wall said...

@ virus: ppl are stupid man!

@ anon/sim: sure sim.. but only if u allow me to inspect if they fit u properly! :P

Anonymous said...

damn, i try so hard to be anonymous! how do you figure its me...i never understood!
yeah yeah...will take u in for inspection only for the joy of seeing you faint of embarasment even before you reach the trail room! :P

Red said...

heehee.. whenever i take the g-unit to the lingerie section he assumes this air of nonchalance and starts wandering around trying to look all casual.. then i point out to him that it would all look slightly less strange if he stuck close to me rather than lurking around all by himself..

but well done.. you're getting quite good at this shopping thing eh?.. someday i might let you buy me a present.. and something girly.. none of your 'but you're a dude' nonsense.. :p

another brick in the wall said...

@ anon/sim: oh how well u try 2 hide ur identity that its almost impossible for us to figure out but somehw we manage to :P
oh lets c who faints of embarrassment first :P

@ red:see.. just because you have a boyfriend or just cause you visit the lingerie section or just cause you will make me buy something girly isn't quite good enough a proof for me! you still have to prove it to me that you are not a "dude" :P