Sunday, January 13, 2008

Somewhere Back In Time

Maybe I just woke up in a wrong land, I don't know really. But it's suffocating when the words you speak do not make any sense to the ears around you. You cannot relate to the beings surrounding you and there is this feeling of being disconnected from this world, this ghastly feeling of being alienated in the world you called your own sometime back. It's a shock when the people who claim to know you inside out just refuse to recognize you now. Finally it so happens that the world you dream to build or create is not something that anyone else can bear to see (or so I believe) and then these now-aliens go on to label you a fool and your dream and thoughts are mocked and ridiculed. 

Darkness is beautiful, something that I'd always adored. In darkness you have only yourself and you cannot see any of this shit that lies around you or that you are covered with. But you can feel you and that's bliss. Darkness is a natural blind of a sort and then there's no one to blame. You may keep your eyes wide open or shut them close; it doesn't matter now as what is within you, is also now around you. Isn’t that simply majestic? 

Ignorance is bliss and I have started dwelling in this bliss now. Darkness preaches it, doesn't it? It restrains the outside from maligning you, decaying you. It basically stops the dead from decay as it doesn't allow the outside to touch you. All it leaves you with is you, your own self, your head and your imagination. Now you can expand within yourself. This is your chance to grow now. Aren't we finally alone anyway? Isn't this so-called companionship a deceit anyway - just an illusion created by this dumbfuck world which strives for a shoulder to rest on and then when the world drifts in a different course, it creates an illusion of a void. It's funny how we know this and still we keep fooling ourselves by living in a make-belief world. Perhaps we are addicted to this social vision as we go on to cover ourselves with this fake security. Perhaps we are too afraid to step out of this life and enter solitude. The fear of unknown will forever haunt us. We hate change as we are unsure that we can survive the change. The fact is we all can and it is not even an issue to sail through it but we have this habit of creating noise and confusion around us and we ourselves are the creators of this disturbance, this chaos, that now engulfs us. Laziness cannot stop an inevitable change in circumstance; we may stop ourselves and procrastinate but we cannot stop the time, the life, the change.

Changing your own self and adaptation or acceptance saves the perception of hurt and misery, this waste of emotion. But we sometimes choose to stay stranded in a time that has already passed us and as a result we stretch this stubborn, non-flexible life and develop these cracks, these holes. You cannot survive in a dead world. Then there are times when you choose to step out of this already extinct time and create a new world - it's then that you are ready to bring about a change. Slowly you become the change and ultimately you become a rebel.

Rating it an escape might be someone's perception but who is anyone to judge you and your life, your change, your rebellion? It is a choice you have made to live your life, which only you can know the best as you are the one living it and not that fuckin' asshole who is sitting there and mocking you. Entering darkness is my choice as I hate to face this sun anymore. It doesn't belong to me anymore. I find peace and calm in this tunnel I've dug for myself, my own secret place, my own invisible friends, my own universe - the one that shall remain forever untouched by this crazy bitch of a world which time and again jabs those voodoo pins in me and stabs me red. Fuck you! I don't belong to you and here I go now, walking away forever from you, walking away into my unknown, into my unseen. It was good to know you but all in all you're just another.... need I say more? 

:)

4 comments:

the hoverer said...

the first para of this blog is something very close to a rule i live my life by it's the good old golden rule of relativity, the rule of insanity, till u dont understand the other person he is nothing more than a fool even if he is the most brilliant guy on earth, u wont know not because what he dosent make sense but because u cant make any sense of what he is saying.

another brick in the wall said...

@ hoverer: rule of insanity is a sexy one.. i agree to it totally! :)

Virus© said...

*Virus© stands and applauds*

Entering darkness is my choice as I hate to face this sun anymore. It doesn't belong to me anymore. I find peace and calm in this tunnel I've dug for myself, my own secret place, my own invisible friends, my own universe - the one that shall remain forever untouched by this crazy bitch of a world which time and again jabs those voodoo pins in me and stabs me red. Fuck you! I don't belong to you and here I go now, walking away forever from you, walking away into my unknown, into my unseen. It was good to know you but all in all you're just another.... need I say more?

I can so very fvckin' much relate to these words.. These beautifully stitched words.. Yeah all in all they're just some more fvckin' bricks in the wall..

another brick in the wall said...

@ virus: thank u thank u! :)

its really funny u know.. we hate to be judged and still we want to be judged.. i mean.. we want ppl to judge us in a particular way and it's really stupid of us to expect someone to see the world from our eyes and still we go on to do so.. but then we have our own vision too and ppl shud respect that.. somehow this world tries to fuck with it and thats when i wanna set it on fire.. anyway.. this was written some 3 months back.. only appearing here for the sake of it.. my vision's changed a bit now! :)

but all said and done.. they will affect our lives none the less and hence they'll always be bricks in this wall!