Sunday, August 12, 2007


Exactly 28 years ago, the "Astrology Inc." celebrated the birth of this baby boy who was predicted to give them the business that an astrologer can only dream of. The birth timing itself was a major controversy; let's blame it on the doctors and nurses who were helping his mother deliver the child, they were so busy handling the baby that they almost ignored the EXACT time when this child was born! They just did not care! They must've thought, "Yeah well, what difference will a second make anyway. The kid was born at 7.15 pm or 7.16 pm or even 7.15 am, the fact is that a new life has arrived and do hell with the timings!" But the astrologers literally capitalized on this issue and stated 2 stories - one each based on the two different seconds that the baby must've come into this world. (I have strong doubts that this baby entered this world in some third undisclosed second, based on which a secret kundli was designed, which was really accurate and which is held as a closely guarded secret by the astrologers all over the world.) So this baby's life was manipulated in all ways in order to protect him from the list of predicted maladies. It was a defensive approach held by the scared parents with the only intention of protecting their first born.

Four years and a day later the "Astrology Inc." again had a wide grin on their faces as the same house experienced the birth of another baby boy. A quick secret meeting later the astrologists had decided upon the maladies and misfortunes that were to be incorporated in this baby's kundli. Based on the same, a list of warnings was made:

1. There are high chances of him getting drowned in water so keep him away from water bodies. Do not teach him to swim as there are chances of him drowning in the swimming pool itself.

2. Keep a track of his friends as he is bound to fall in bad company and there are chances that he may end up wasting his life.

3. Keep him away from girls. Although he may get excellent friends in girls, he will be tricked by this female who will take advantage of his love for her and will ruin his life in every way.

4. He has got a weak stomach. Do not let him learn any form of martial arts or do not let him be involved in any kind of physical sport.

5. He is bound to meet with a horrible accident if he rides a vehicle. Beware!

6. He will attain success only if he stays in commerce field.

7. He will be dependent on his parents and peers for most of his life as he won't be rich.

The scared parents again took a protective approach and obediently followed all the instructions that the astrologer had given them.

1. He never was allowed to go near the sea. He was never allowed to join swimming. He developed a fear of water and no one knew why.

2. He was not allowed to seek admission in school of Commercial Arts as the artists might have a bad influence on the child. The images of artists holding beer mug in one hand and the cancer stick in another was painted before him.

Also commerce was chosen for number of reasons:
a. He would be successful only if he were to follow a career in commerce field.
b. The college was just two buildings away from the place where he stayed, so the company he keeps will be checked at all the times.

3. He was always a shy guy and had never talked to a single female for 17 years of his life, so when he was nearly friends with a female for the first time, her background was thoroughly checked.

4. He was never allowed to join any martial arts schools.

5. He wasn't allowed to drive vehicles beyond a certain area, let's say that area was the suburb he stayed in.

One fine day the boy realised that he wasn't really happy with the way his life was shaping up, so he decided to undo it all and start all over again. He got his kundli studied and to his amusement, it spoke accurately of his past life but only predicted his future. However, it only spoke of his life if it were to go on one designed course and the only prediction that he got for living his life otherwise was "you will fail". Then he thought over the definitions of failure and success and deleted the terms altogether from his dictionary. He redefined the words "right" and "wrong" for himself and he took the responsibility of staying truthful to them.

He jumped in the ocean and floated on the water, it didn't kill him. Time and time again he did the same, he is still alive and typing. Once in a while the nightmares of the ocean coming alive to eat him do ruin his sleep but that won't kill the love he has for the sea now.

He quit his field of commerce and started sketching. He still does and he doesn't care if that is a mistake. He enjoys doing the same.

He boxed his heart out with the walls in his room and he never suffered anything more than a few weeks of sore knuckles.

He's met with innumerable accidents so far, but he rides on.

However, he still does depend upon his family for virtually everything and he is ashamed of it. But he plans to grow up soon.

The very fact that I am scared of astrology proves my belief in the same. I am not against it and I do not defy it; but I hate the fact that its influence goes on to manipulate one's life many a times. A prediction made jokingly or made after some serious studies may just come true. But finally it is just that - a prediction.


new age scheherazade said...

I know. and it's strange, but by listening to the astrologers, the person's actually responsible for making the prediction come true. for example, if you'd never learnt to swim because of what he said, and then one day fell into the Ganga and drowned, wouldn't he say 'I told you so'? i betcha he would.

Red said...

its not really a prediction at all if you issue this list of dos and don'ts which believers actually follow

Divya said...

:) Nice... One of your best actually...
stating my personal opinion, i think astrology is a load of crap (sorry sneha) cos lookin at it logically, how can anyone find out the future by looking at how stars move accross the sky? we are born on earth only because it is the only planet which sustains life.. its all so scientific, our very existance... nothing can show us what will happen or anything... i find the concept of kundalis quite ridiculous actually...
now i hope the astrology fans wont jump on me for saying all that...
I concur with the above 2 btw...
U believe in astrology but still go against it?

another brick in the wall said...

@ new age : yeah thats true yaa.. scary too.. wow! had never looked at it this way

@ red: yes true.. they design a life for u and then say.. see see.. "i told u so".. rt wat new age said

@ div: thank u sistaah :)
well i do believe in it to quite an extent bcz astrology is finally a science too.. its all based upon numbers and calculations.. but the very accuracy of the answers comes into question since all these predictions are dependent upon the ultimate second of the occurring of an incident and no one can be really certain bout the exact time thn rt.. so hence they are just rated as predictions.. anyway i have limited .. really limited knowledge on the subject so i wont digress on the matter.. sneha.. u defend please anyway u love moot courts :P

ninkita said...

haha!!! i liked this!! astrologers inc. must be thinking of a counterattack, so beware!! :P
live life as you feel you should. that way anytime you happen to 'fail', at least you won't feel you failed doing somethign you really would've prefered not to! ok, rest of my wonderful insights later, you know my overall belief anyway.
and happy birthday!!

another brick in the wall said...

@ nin: hehe.. yes i know of them.. thank u.. hugs :)

Aditi said...

quite funny.. those astrologers are quite a handful specially when they create havoc on one's life