Brought to life, screaming and breathing
Given an empty brain for start
Worthless as clay, the world's a potter
Give it a shape, your son or daughter
Miracle minds, give them a thought
Forget that head and what he was
Pour in silence and fill in some hate
Mould his life and call it his fate
Now suffered and tired, kicking the walls of his cell
Peeping through holes they call it a maybe
Hope's a prison they've tied you in
Bundled like a packaged box of sins
Your new world is a dream, break the pot to live it
But freedom is a myth, another hope another maybe
Take that seat and watch the TV
They sell you a life you couldn't be in
They build a God to define your wrongs,
Change them to rights, it makes them strong
Done with trying, just nod your heads,
Forget all we sang, erase all we said.
Deluded heads, let's shout in joy
Dandy and fake, we are all born dead
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
We are Indians...
1. We are Indians. We do not speak of sex. We do not have sex. It is against our culture to even utter the "S"-word. Mallanaga Vatsyayana was a foreigner.
2. We are not the most populous country. It's a sham. There hardly are any Indians in this world. We are getting extinct since we do not know anything about "S". Save Indians. Make Indians.
3. Our constitution grants us the right to litter and spit. It is our fundamental duty to verbally or physically abuse, any person, (esp. if he is an Indian) who attempts to deprive us of our right to spit and litter. Sec. 325(i)dont(care) of IPC, gives right to the "spitter", to make the "preacher" spit ten times in a row on ten different streets each, after forcing a beatle(beetle) leaf with tobacco in his mouth. I believe this measure shall help the "preacher" to understand the concept of colours, and the real meaning behind the term "colourful nation called India".
4. Gutters, drainage pipes, pavements and footpaths are foreign terms, not well-defined in any Indian language. So we do not use them, I mean the terms. Here is the real and correct definition of the same:
Gutter:
i) Indian for thrash-can or dust-bin.
ii) A public-cum-private disposal unit situated outside every Indian household/building.
iii) A strategically located dust-bin outside every compound wall, so that the residents do not have to store the garbage inside their compounds. It also helps to store rain water during the times of floods. An excellent provision made by the government for the convenience of Indians.
iii) A shelter for rats and other rodents, many-a-times invaded by stray-dogs and stray-cats.
The civilizations of Mohenjo-daro and Harappa used it for reasons unknown and unheard of to Indians. Some rate it waste of space in the surprisingly crowded India where we do not even talk of "S".
Pavements/Footpaths:
i) A part of the road reserved for hawkers, beggars, homeless and for storage of domestic and public waste and mortars when the gutters are full. Walking on them can prove hazardous to your health. Use the roads.
ii) During the times of traffic jams, these may be used by two-wheelers as a road itself.
Drainage Pipes:
A pipe connecting the households to the gutters for the convenience of disposal of household waste of all forms. It is however not advisable to dispose off plastic and hair through these pipes, as Indians are yet to master the technology of making such form of waste travel along smoothly. Hence, gutters have to be accessed directly for disposing the same. Inncovenience is regretted by the government.
5. We are an open-minded Indian family. We will accept bride of our son's choice. Our only conditions are, she has to be an Indian (of course), a Hindu (it's religion finally), a Maharashtrian (she should speak our language, how else can we communicate), a Bhramin (race matters). She shouldn't be consuming alcohol or smoking cigarettes as it is against our culture (what our son does and how he lives is none of her business) and if she has even heard the term "drugs", then she has put her family to shame. But we are a very open-minded, well-cultured, Indian family.
6. We Indians, strongly believe in intolerance towards your language, race, religion, region and every other single feature that is distinct from us. We are determined to not accept and never adapt "the others".
7. We will never contribute, in anyway, towards our race, religion, region or language but we shall stay proud and arrogant and we shall hate every single person, not belonging to our caste, race, religion, region. Our hate was not, is not and will never be justified.
8. We are given the freedom of speech. We can use this freedom to the extent that we follow the condition of not affecting the feelings of the "sensitive ones". If we get affected by the same, it is not their problem.
9. When we see a celebrity. we have to keep staring at her till she starts feeling awkward and leaves the place.
10. We are Maharashtrians. We will only eat at a Maharashtrian restaurant.
11. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we have dishes from all over the world listed on our menu. But we will never serve them since we never cook them. We list them only to decorate our menu.
12. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we speak only in Marathi. If the customer cannot speak the language or he cannot understand the same, then it is his problem.
13. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, after we clean your table, the floor gets dirty. Cleaning the same is the floor-cleaner's problem. Waiter can only help him to an extent by kicking the same below the customer's table. Customer should mind his feet. If they get dirty in the process, then it is not the waiter's problem.
14. You cannot "abuse" the food by saying it's half-cooked, over-cooked, not-cooked. The chef may relax. It is not his fault if the customer doesn't like the food he made.
15. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we do not ask the customer if he wants anything more after he is done with his meal. We do not take your orders again and again. We just hand you over the bill. Please leave fast. There are others waiting.
16. We are Indians and we swear to never improve.
2. We are not the most populous country. It's a sham. There hardly are any Indians in this world. We are getting extinct since we do not know anything about "S". Save Indians. Make Indians.
3. Our constitution grants us the right to litter and spit. It is our fundamental duty to verbally or physically abuse, any person, (esp. if he is an Indian) who attempts to deprive us of our right to spit and litter. Sec. 325(i)dont(care) of IPC, gives right to the "spitter", to make the "preacher" spit ten times in a row on ten different streets each, after forcing a beatle(beetle) leaf with tobacco in his mouth. I believe this measure shall help the "preacher" to understand the concept of colours, and the real meaning behind the term "colourful nation called India".
4. Gutters, drainage pipes, pavements and footpaths are foreign terms, not well-defined in any Indian language. So we do not use them, I mean the terms. Here is the real and correct definition of the same:
Gutter:
i) Indian for thrash-can or dust-bin.
ii) A public-cum-private disposal unit situated outside every Indian household/building.
iii) A strategically located dust-bin outside every compound wall, so that the residents do not have to store the garbage inside their compounds. It also helps to store rain water during the times of floods. An excellent provision made by the government for the convenience of Indians.
iii) A shelter for rats and other rodents, many-a-times invaded by stray-dogs and stray-cats.
The civilizations of Mohenjo-daro and Harappa used it for reasons unknown and unheard of to Indians. Some rate it waste of space in the surprisingly crowded India where we do not even talk of "S".
Pavements/Footpaths:
i) A part of the road reserved for hawkers, beggars, homeless and for storage of domestic and public waste and mortars when the gutters are full. Walking on them can prove hazardous to your health. Use the roads.
ii) During the times of traffic jams, these may be used by two-wheelers as a road itself.
Drainage Pipes:
A pipe connecting the households to the gutters for the convenience of disposal of household waste of all forms. It is however not advisable to dispose off plastic and hair through these pipes, as Indians are yet to master the technology of making such form of waste travel along smoothly. Hence, gutters have to be accessed directly for disposing the same. Inncovenience is regretted by the government.
5. We are an open-minded Indian family. We will accept bride of our son's choice. Our only conditions are, she has to be an Indian (of course), a Hindu (it's religion finally), a Maharashtrian (she should speak our language, how else can we communicate), a Bhramin (race matters). She shouldn't be consuming alcohol or smoking cigarettes as it is against our culture (what our son does and how he lives is none of her business) and if she has even heard the term "drugs", then she has put her family to shame. But we are a very open-minded, well-cultured, Indian family.
6. We Indians, strongly believe in intolerance towards your language, race, religion, region and every other single feature that is distinct from us. We are determined to not accept and never adapt "the others".
7. We will never contribute, in anyway, towards our race, religion, region or language but we shall stay proud and arrogant and we shall hate every single person, not belonging to our caste, race, religion, region. Our hate was not, is not and will never be justified.
8. We are given the freedom of speech. We can use this freedom to the extent that we follow the condition of not affecting the feelings of the "sensitive ones". If we get affected by the same, it is not their problem.
9. When we see a celebrity. we have to keep staring at her till she starts feeling awkward and leaves the place.
10. We are Maharashtrians. We will only eat at a Maharashtrian restaurant.
11. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we have dishes from all over the world listed on our menu. But we will never serve them since we never cook them. We list them only to decorate our menu.
12. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we speak only in Marathi. If the customer cannot speak the language or he cannot understand the same, then it is his problem.
13. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, after we clean your table, the floor gets dirty. Cleaning the same is the floor-cleaner's problem. Waiter can only help him to an extent by kicking the same below the customer's table. Customer should mind his feet. If they get dirty in the process, then it is not the waiter's problem.
14. You cannot "abuse" the food by saying it's half-cooked, over-cooked, not-cooked. The chef may relax. It is not his fault if the customer doesn't like the food he made.
15. At a Maharashtrian restaurant, we do not ask the customer if he wants anything more after he is done with his meal. We do not take your orders again and again. We just hand you over the bill. Please leave fast. There are others waiting.
16. We are Indians and we swear to never improve.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Summer That's Breezing By
Some things noteworthy:
1. I quit my job, yet again and started working on my own, yes, yet again; only this time, with more determination; as a result, I'm still jobless. Give me work.
2. After immense struggle, that lasted for a month and a half, got rich for a while, but then I had to spend on certain things that eventually became necessities. So I need your money again. Give me work.
3. Patrick quit smoking, I quit cribbing. We all are getting rid of our bad habits.
(Note: The above two points are not complaints. They are just present situations, exemplified.)
4. Divya, my dear l'il e-sis, finally came home. She forced me to play the guitar, then she suffered the consequences.
5. Divya started listening to Alice in Chains. Things are looking much better now.
6. Spent an entire night on phone with someone (seven straight hours). Then she went off to sleep after promising to call me on getting up. It's been a month and a half, I think she's still sleeping.
7. Survivied one of the most embarrassing moments - got high on a pint of beer. The embarrassment didn't stop at that. It continued with Divya and Virus, degrading my name on their respective personal-yet-public blogs. However, the love still prevails.
8. I am in love again. It's beer this time.
9. The jobless me started a job site to help other jobless people like me.
10. Did a certificate creative writing course. There they taught me to read. I gave up on writing after that.
11. Lost 8 kgs more in just 2 months. My mother freaked out and told on me to our family doc.
12. Cell phone bills fell drastically from Rs.1200 to Rs.300 and then again got back to Rs.800.
13. A magazine went ahead and published 3 of my stories. That was the closest I got, to becoming famous.
14. Thanks to the terrible music programs that run on the television, my intolerance towards other forms of music increased.
(Note: I am not cribbing. It's the state of mind.)
15. Joined kickboxing classes with my dear sister. Divya and I, now fight crime. BEWARE!
16. The stupid siblings got plastered at the most unlikeliest of places. Then we shared some deep dark secrets. Then we both got embarrassed. Alright, I had no reason to feel embarrassed about anything.
17. Watched a weird play with Divya at NCPA. The debate that went on after the play ended was the best moment of that evening.
18. Divya and I, got lost more than a couple of times in our very own Bombay.
19. My hatred, anger and loathing towards the Thackrey family and our government in general worsened, and I'm all the more determined on becoming a terrorist soon. That's right, kill me now while you still can.
20. Finally found a terrific graphic designer in our very own Monty. Hope things stay as smooth.
21. Family drama returned to haunt us, yet again. Only this time, the heroes became the villains and the villains, well they are still the villains.
-------------
The summer is gone and the rains are here. But the good part is the sun is still shining. So long then.
1. I quit my job, yet again and started working on my own, yes, yet again; only this time, with more determination; as a result, I'm still jobless. Give me work.
2. After immense struggle, that lasted for a month and a half, got rich for a while, but then I had to spend on certain things that eventually became necessities. So I need your money again. Give me work.
3. Patrick quit smoking, I quit cribbing. We all are getting rid of our bad habits.
(Note: The above two points are not complaints. They are just present situations, exemplified.)
4. Divya, my dear l'il e-sis, finally came home. She forced me to play the guitar, then she suffered the consequences.
5. Divya started listening to Alice in Chains. Things are looking much better now.
6. Spent an entire night on phone with someone (seven straight hours). Then she went off to sleep after promising to call me on getting up. It's been a month and a half, I think she's still sleeping.
7. Survivied one of the most embarrassing moments - got high on a pint of beer. The embarrassment didn't stop at that. It continued with Divya and Virus, degrading my name on their respective personal-yet-public blogs. However, the love still prevails.
8. I am in love again. It's beer this time.
9. The jobless me started a job site to help other jobless people like me.
10. Did a certificate creative writing course. There they taught me to read. I gave up on writing after that.
11. Lost 8 kgs more in just 2 months. My mother freaked out and told on me to our family doc.
12. Cell phone bills fell drastically from Rs.1200 to Rs.300 and then again got back to Rs.800.
13. A magazine went ahead and published 3 of my stories. That was the closest I got, to becoming famous.
14. Thanks to the terrible music programs that run on the television, my intolerance towards other forms of music increased.
(Note: I am not cribbing. It's the state of mind.)
15. Joined kickboxing classes with my dear sister. Divya and I, now fight crime. BEWARE!
16. The stupid siblings got plastered at the most unlikeliest of places. Then we shared some deep dark secrets. Then we both got embarrassed. Alright, I had no reason to feel embarrassed about anything.
17. Watched a weird play with Divya at NCPA. The debate that went on after the play ended was the best moment of that evening.
18. Divya and I, got lost more than a couple of times in our very own Bombay.
19. My hatred, anger and loathing towards the Thackrey family and our government in general worsened, and I'm all the more determined on becoming a terrorist soon. That's right, kill me now while you still can.
20. Finally found a terrific graphic designer in our very own Monty. Hope things stay as smooth.
21. Family drama returned to haunt us, yet again. Only this time, the heroes became the villains and the villains, well they are still the villains.
-------------
The summer is gone and the rains are here. But the good part is the sun is still shining. So long then.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
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