Gel Is Hell

(This short story got published in the HAIR magazine & it's a work of fiction. Any attempts to kick my divine ass on basis of this story shall be dealt with seriously.)

I understand the importance of advertisements, but it would be of a great help if they also gave a list of instructions advising the audience on what one must NOT do with their products!

I got a chance to go on a date after some six long months of a dull and virtually dead social life. Relief, excitement, anxiety – all ended up making me nervous and overtly conscious. When all of these emotions come to haunt you together, everything that the mirror reflects seems like a mess-up! Almost nothing seemed in its place. With no help round the corner, you are left with little choice but to just resign to your fate and offer a quick prayer to Him, so things would work out fine.

I had an anxious hour to kill before I started for the big date. To release my tension, I switched on the TV. An endorsement of some new hair gel by a celebrated cricketer was being aired. Cricket and hair gel don’t really match, but when you are listless and confused, every advice thrown at you tends to become your ultimate decision, and here the ad seemed to shout out to me – “I can help you with your hair at least”. Next thing I know, I was at a shop, buying the hair gel. I sped home and without caring to read the instructions, I slathered it on in dollops. Nervousness does that to you – either you act brave or the bravado is a mere act of stupidity, which you realize only after it’s too late. So only after I had applied the gel and tried to use my comb, did I realize that the comb wouldn’t move an inch. On checking my watch, I realized that I had to leave for my date right away! Too late to correct the wrong now; I quickly grabbed my cap and rushed to meet my girl.

I knew, as long as the cap was on, my mess was “covered”. But a cap doesn’t stay on forever, not on a date. You never realize when the cap is off, and when her hands get in your hair, and when a disgusted “ewww” fills your ears and the room, and when the girl rushes to the washroom and when the date ends in a disaster!

There is a reason I shaved my head and swore to never watch commercials ever again!