Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Gel Is Hell

(This short story got published in the HAIR magazine & it's a work of fiction. Any attempts to kick my divine ass on basis of this story shall be dealt with seriously.)

I understand the importance of advertisements, but it would be of a great help if they also gave a list of instructions advising the audience on what one must NOT do with their products!

I got a chance to go on a date after some six long months of a dull and virtually dead social life. Relief, excitement, anxiety – all ended up making me nervous and overtly conscious. When all of these emotions come to haunt you together, everything that the mirror reflects seems like a mess-up! Almost nothing seemed in its place. With no help round the corner, you are left with little choice but to just resign to your fate and offer a quick prayer to Him, so things would work out fine.

I had an anxious hour to kill before I started for the big date. To release my tension, I switched on the TV. An endorsement of some new hair gel by a celebrated cricketer was being aired. Cricket and hair gel don’t really match, but when you are listless and confused, every advice thrown at you tends to become your ultimate decision, and here the ad seemed to shout out to me – “I can help you with your hair at least”. Next thing I know, I was at a shop, buying the hair gel. I sped home and without caring to read the instructions, I slathered it on in dollops. Nervousness does that to you – either you act brave or the bravado is a mere act of stupidity, which you realize only after it’s too late. So only after I had applied the gel and tried to use my comb, did I realize that the comb wouldn’t move an inch. On checking my watch, I realized that I had to leave for my date right away! Too late to correct the wrong now; I quickly grabbed my cap and rushed to meet my girl.

I knew, as long as the cap was on, my mess was “covered”. But a cap doesn’t stay on forever, not on a date. You never realize when the cap is off, and when her hands get in your hair, and when a disgusted “ewww” fills your ears and the room, and when the girl rushes to the washroom and when the date ends in a disaster!

There is a reason I shaved my head and swore to never watch commercials ever again!

23 comments:

Snehal said...

:D :D :D


arey, you should have at-least asked someone how to use a new product..

and, how did u go out with that thing on?.. hats off to you.. :P

The New Age Superhero said...

it's not real.. work of fiction my dear friend.. i am bald for a yr and a half now :P

The Unpaid Analyst said...

gave up applying gel long back..sad things i tell u...i couldnt tolerate the smell..better to walk arnd wid a schlock of wavy hair than to apply gel....the bald option wouldnt do wonders for my already dead social life :D..i hope its working for ye :P

The New Age Superhero said...

it's a work of fiction ppl.. i shaved off my head cz i have got really bad hair.. really don't care if it works for or against me.. as long as i'm comfortable with it :)

Sim said...

hahahahahaha....hohohohoho....hehehehehe...i am very conveniently ignoring the fiction part of it!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :P

Sushant Sreeram said...

hey dude! wassup. hehe yea, been a 'silent reader' of your blog :-) some interesting experiences you 've got there!

"hey ho here we go, ever so high...."

The New Age Superhero said...

@ sim:
you know it's fiction cz of 2 reasons:
1) i have been bald for different reasons altogether and it's been a yr and a half now since am carrying this "style"
2) i barely watch TV

@ sushant:
hey man.. thanks a lot :).. keep reading.. hope to entertain all :)

Red said...

lol.. i like it when you write like this.. back to the funny and crazy suk i know..

The New Age Superhero said...

@ red: and welcome back :)
yay! finally you've arrived :P.. yeah.. am done with preaching philosophy.. well.. almost :P... missed being crazy yaa.. been a long time na :)

parikrama said...

Hmmm the build up was nice.. But the ending was bit abrupt and hasty (for me).

Aur vaise bhi first date pe getting physical ? Either the guys is Brad Pitt or the gurl is sex startved slut.. Else I don't see the scenario (of the girl getting her hand in his hair) happening on first date.

Call me old fashioned if you must ;-)

The New Age Superhero said...

@..krama:
getting physical? itna toh normal hai yaar :S
anyway it's a work of fiction so.. i have a right to exaggerate :P

Punvati said...

Don't u just wish this were true :P

The New Age Superhero said...

ah well.. i go on "picnics".. what to do? :P :P

revelsign said...

guys with hair gel in their hair are rarely attractive, trust me.

and, well...ouch. sticky gel+comb+cap+hair does not for a great "let me run my hands through your hair" moment make.

The New Age Superhero said...

@ revel: short story written for a magazine... i shout again.. fiction.. i'm bald cz my ever-dry curly hair had started to irritate the hell outta me.. besides.. being bald helps me save on shampoo, combs and bad-hair days :P

revelsign said...

wasn't challenging the fictitiousness of it all...just making a comment on hair gel and members of the male species in general. and trust me, there are days when i boldly resolve to shave my head for just those reasons. but alas, i'm pretty much a coward. =) divvy, imagine me with no hair!

The New Age Superhero said...

arey... whom to fear from at jodhpur - far away from home? i say shave it off and start a revolution at NLU... next you hand over the razor to div :P

Punvati said...

ya right!
meghana- u wud look like a confused egg with glasses in a skirt... :D
me, razor. ya right. nevver gonna happen. Never ever crossed my hair filled head. :P

all that matters said...

can't stop laughing, did you shave and the go for the date???

psst... bald guys look cute :P

The New Age Superhero said...

@ATM: It's fiction.. but to answer your question.. on a date.. first date at least.. yes! i do shave.. the grunge look comes into picture only later :P

Punvati said...

when was ur last first date suk? ;)

Anonymous said...

@ div: June 2006! :S
so what.. i'm a busy man :P

Punvati said...

Hahahahahaha! sure :D