Yes! God might feel happy when His so-called devotees scream prayers in his name in the ultra-crowded train compartments, but I definitely don't. I wouldn't have really mind had they been only screaming these prayers, but the fact that these guys use those screechy instruments and sing in embarrassingly high notes, reaching the levels that even the great classical singers cannot reach, forget the rock and metal band vocalists, really deafens me. I'm pretty much used to travelling in these Mumbai locals, which am sure would have brought any of those concentration camps to shame, (it's been 9 years now and having thrown off from the train a couple of times, you pretty much know what to do and what you definitely should not!), so after you fight with the crowd to find a place to just stand, you hear these screaming devotees accompanied by their ear-banging instruments so that He hears them and answers their god-damned prayers! To each his own I know, but it's universally accepted amongst His believers that He is omnipresent. If so, He is within me and I am not happy and hence He is not happy, so well, you are just angering Him! So in order that I am happy which will make Him happy ultimately (of course I'm so Heavenly inclined, my fans know) I quote to start a metal band which will sing songs only and only while they travel by train. I need a drummer who has the skills to use the train-ceiling and metal rods for percussion, a vocalist who can scream louder and hit higher notes than these devotee-singers, a lead guitarist and a bassist of course; I'll be playing the rhythm guitars and my swearing skills can come in handy when I provide back-up vocals (I am very innovative when it comes to swearing, my fans know this too). I intend to start a new genre of music calling it the "Train Metal" and the band's name, of course "Trainaalika" (Train-aali-ka - "Has the train come" literally). The title of the first song will be, you guessed it, "Holier than Thou". I just need to work on the lyrics a bit. Auditions start tonight, interested please apply! Thank you!
P.S.: Whether or not the band kicks-off tomorrow, auditions for groupies are always on. What is a rock band without groupies? They play an indispensable role in the band's performance - on-stage as well as backstage. So do you think you have it in you to be one? If so do not hesitate. Get in NOW!