You Know You're Jobless When..

1. You wake up at 6.30 am and say, "What am I doing up so early, even the sun is still to rise." So you go back to sleep.

2. You open your eyes at 8.30 am and see your dad waiting for you to wake up so you can deposit those cheques in the bank. So you pretend to sleep.

3. You wake up at 10.30 am and find two eyes staring at you with the expression shouting "you should be ashamed of yourself".

4. It's 12 noon and you are in the bank and depositing the cheques or withdrawing cash (definitely not for your purpose) which daddy dearest had wisely left on your desk while you'd again dozed off.

5. It's 1 pm and you are in the market selecting which vegetables to buy.

6. It's 3.30 pm and you plan to take a nap as the staring eyes are resting too. Phew!

7. It's 5 pm and you are expected to make tea.

8. It's 5.30 pm and you are deciding which movie to download.

9. It's 5.45 pm and you have decided which movie to download.

10. It's 6 pm and you feel the urge to type out something like a post in your blog.

11. It's 7 pm and you are haunted by the expectations of doing something about your career and life.

12. It's 7.15 pm and you are feeling ultra lazy to go down and switch off that water-pump button.

13. It's 7.30 pm and your friend calls up to ask you "How is it going? Are you free tonight? Oh sorry. Hahaha". Yes my friend, very funny!

14. It's 7.45 pm and your friend again calls up to ask the reasons for not meeting him for dinner when you have nothing to do and have been home all day.

15. It's 8 pm and your guilt comes to eat you alive. But laziness still rules!

16. It's 8.15 pm and you are thinking of blogging again.

17. It's 8.30 pm and you go on to update your resume on the job sites instead.

18. It's 9 pm and you just don't feel like eating dinner with guilty conscience and those staring eyes killing your appetite.

19. It's 10.30 pm and you are yawning and deciding whether to sleep early today and end the misery or to stay up and chat with friends a while and make life better.

20. It's 10.45 pm and you are still undecided of the above.

21. It's 10.48 pm and you finally decide to sleep.

22. It's 11 pm and you are finding it impossible to sleep.

23. It's 12 am and you are praying for the night to pass out soon.

24. It's 5.30 am and you shut down the alarm and go back to sleep.

.. And It Happened

Yes I want to celebrate this day cause finally it happened. I don't know how, but I guess it was due for a long time now. Oh yes, cause I'd nearly forgotten what it is like to be asleep at night!

After God knows how many months I slept like a baby yesterday. It was such a peaceful sleep, yes dreams did occur to disturb the peace to an extent but there were happy moments in the dreams too. I woke up with a wide grin and this was another amazing aspect of this sleep.

Last week was a crazy week I must say, so this was well deserved; at least this week has begun well.

Last Monday, after a real jeaded weekend I'd gone to work wearing a real pathetic face. Tuesday began well as the Rakhi I'd worn did bring smiles to my face everytime I looked at it. Hence I'm yet to take it off my wrist. Also the clients were highly impressed by my presentation and so my boss kept patting me every now and then. Then it got irritating and I mildly told him to stop touching me.

Then came Wednesday, the day which went on to shock me and made me finally realise the intention of my friend when she keeps making that statement "you are not that important". This was the day that I understood the meaning of that statement. Thank you Sangy! C'mon, it's not everyday that you wake up with a job and go to sleep without one. Yes things went messy at work and before they could fire me from being their employee, I fired them from being my boss. But all the hugs and kisses I got from my group at work made things easy for me.

Thursday assured me that the week is going to end on an amazing note as my entire group from office called me up saying that even they had resigned. It was touching. Well they had their own reasons like going abroad for studies too, however everyone had resigned more than a week prior to the date they'd mentioned in their resignation letters. So entire Thursday went in bitching about the politics at work and how it went on to affect our work but how it ended up bringing all of us closer.

Friday, I started my sketching tutorials and in the afternoon I got a call for an interview, which was to be on Sunday. So rest of the day went in making preparations for the same, updating my CV etc. Saturday I had made plans to meet so many people, ended up staying home all day long and getting bored, but the interview on Sunday kept me excited.

The much awaited Sunday came and I opened to check the address of the office - it was in the same building as my very first office and it was on the same floor, just two doors away. I reached there at 12 sharp waiting for someone to unlock the gate of the building. It was a Sunday! Whoever has an interview on Sunday! Anyway, the humble interviewer did come at 12.30 finally. Thanks to the heat, I'd already started sweating like a pig. But Adidas Sports Deos rock! Interview went on for four and a half hours.

Now this was definitely the funniest of interviews I'd ever been to. No sooner did I enter that office that I had already decided of not taking up this job. But since I had nothing to do till 7 pm, I thought of just going through the same. After a series of idiotic questions later (Who all are there in your family? What does your father, mother, brother, uncle, aunt, grandmom, niece, nephew and rest of the relatives do for living? Tell me about your educational background. Why did you take up law when you wanted to enter this field? What are your strengths, weaknesses, hobbies?) Finally he cared to open my CV and felt guilty of having wasted so much of his time asking questions, as most of the answers were already present in the same. Then he arranged a small test for me. "Design a layout for me and make any two links". Two hours later I gave him a fully functional website. He tried to challenge my logic and I ended up explaining him how his own logic needed "debugging". He thanked me for the same. Then he sweetly arranged a small lunch for me. I hungrily ate the toast sandwich and gulped down Appy. Appy makes me happy! Okay sad joke, let's move on. Then there was another short interview where he went on to show his website and asked me what he thought of the animation. I calmly told him in my sweetest of words that it was abuse of space. Shocked to the core on hearing such an arrogant remark he dared me to justify my remark. I successfully told him how he could've better used the space with some high quality images or wireframe animation. Shutting the site right away he then went on through my work and went on to ask me two of the most ridiculous questions.

Him: Why do you want to work?
Me: Why will I not want to work?
Him: What?
Me: You tell me.
Him: I meant some people work for money, some for timepass. Why do you want to work?
Me: Money and passion both... and it went on.

Then he cracked another one:

Him: What all can you do for the company?
Me (in my head): It depends on what all the company can do for me too. Besides I'm not giving you no blowjobs, handjobs; and am not ready for threesomes, foursomes, sandwiches if it involves any other guy than me in it.
(But the words that came out of my mouth) I will work for the company. (But I couldn't hold back my smile).
Him: I meant will you execute your ideas or the client's ideas?
Me (in my head again): It's time you realize you are dealing with an arrogant cunt here.
(But what I said instead was) Mine.
Him: How do you expect to sell the work then if you don't listen to the client.
Me: (I wanted to be specific now) I do not believe in executing anyone else's ideas. Neither yours, nor clients. I will execute my ideas.
Him: Why? Do you think your ideas are so good?
Me: Let me correct you there. I do not believe in good or bad when it comes to art. It is all about perception.
(A wicked grin developed on my face when he said "Explain")
You see, art is all about expression. It is not right to judge art. Again art is subjective. What you think is good may be my worst work or the other way round. I cannot like your kind of music and you won't be able to stand what I call music.
(Surprisingly he got the point)
Him: That's a good point. But how then will you sell your design if the client has other requirements.
Then I went on to explain him the importance of embedding marketing skills in your talks while selling your piece of art and manipulation of client's mind. He heard me intently. He agreed to most part of it, or I like to think so as I could make out from the expressions on his face.

Then he asked for the pay and that is when it ended for him.. I meant me. I wasn't ready to negotiate my pay "I deserve it" I said. Then a brief minute of silence later we had a contract deal worked out. So we both were satisfied after saying goodbyes.

Then I headed to meet my office group. After a nice two and a half hour wait later, I was blessed with their company and did we have a good time! Finally when it struck midnight and when too many folks were getting worried about their "kids" we decided to make a move. I was assigned to drop off this friend at Powai and after I safely escaped the dogs, I faced the cops.

Four of them stopped me and asked me for my license. Now when you are tired and when your parents are threatening to disown you for making them stay up so late, you kind of feel this rush in your feet to get home. Cops pulling you over for drunken driving is the last thing you expect, especially when you haven't even smelled alcohol since December 24th, okay August 4th, but I'd really just smelled alcohol on that day! So yes, when I took off my helmet in frustration, I didn't intentionally bang the same on the standing cop's shoulder. But he felt offended and went on to smell my mouth. He was trying so hard to smell that that was never consumed, that I wanted to burp on his face, but Raghu never taught me the technique of faking a burp. Damn you Raghu! Disappointed the cops let me go. Came home and some old friends were online. A nice chat later I was feeling really relieved. Made my bed and I slept like a baby! Finally the sleep cometh! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Diary Of An Insomniac

I hate to convince people. I believe everyone must have the freedom to look at this world in their own way. People who try to convince others or who try to bestow their thoughts upon others are just trying to manipulate others' vision. It is making the person to see things in other direction deliberately and this I vote as manipulation of mind. Everyone should just be let alone. Everyone has been given a particular set of things when he/she is born; everyone then has to make the most out of these things and start their lives and finally live their lives. Thus everyone's growth is affected by one's surroundings.

Now imagine a world where this manipulation never has taken place. Will my and your life be the same? Imagine a world where you are born alone, no one to depend on right from your birth, there is never a need to communicate with anyone at all, all you need is you and no one else. Won't it be such a happy place? Now here, by happiness I mean peace of mind cause I strongly believe that it is not happiness that we seek but it is peace of mind that is ultimately sought. So if we were just born deaf and dumb and alone, we were to be indifferent in a harmless way to everyone around us, won't there be just peace all over? True that then may be man may never evolve as he will be always satisfied and satisfaction applies a full-stop to man's so-called progress. But have we progressed at all? Look at the beauties man claims to have created, have they really given us that happiness we so always long for? Look at people around us, how we love them, hate them, try to be good to them or even bad to them, look how much of our life is affected by them. Now if we stop to communicate at all then there will be no pain, there will be no hatred and there will be no confusion. But do we stop? No. When one person quits our life we latch on to some other person and then we find excuses in statements like "we need each other". How fake is that? We ourselves have developed this perception that we need a person, a certain someone to make our lives happy, to make our lives meaningful, to make it worth living, but in the process of finding this someone, we tend to let go of our own life, our thoughts, may be our morals, our duties; now yes, duties towards whom you say - well duties towards yourself. I curse myself for being selfish and self-centered, but then I look back and analyze the number of lives this selfishness has gone on to affect. Now one day I might just say that "Oh it hasn't really harmed anyone" but isn't that my perception? How can I be sure that it has not hurt anyone - this selfish nature of mine? Then I start judging everyone and I realize everyone is selfish; it is impossible to not be selfish; every deed is selfish and so many times it goes on to affect my life - sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrible way. Now again I go back to the "good and bad theory". Isn't it just an illusion? Everyone's definition of good and bad differs and the events that take place around you are just rated as "good" or "bad" as one chooses to see them. That is when convincing a person comes into picture. If a person chooses to ignore a particular incident as this goes on to affect his/her life in a way (good or bad is his/her way of looking at it again but one normally tends to ignore that which affects one in a bad way), then I do not understand an attempt to convince this person to see the things the other way; it is not a question of worth, it is not a question of love; it is just a question of freedom. Every person is on his own, free to think. I can only explain my way of looking at a thing. Everyone has their own eyes and I believe that everyone should just look at the situation by their own eyes; blinding yourself and agreeing to other person's vision is foolishness. Everyone has their own way of looking at things, everyone has their own way of judging matters and all this is affected by the way the person views his/her own life and his/her own surroundings. No two surroundings are similar and no two lives are similar, how can then two perceptions be similar? How can then two minds be similar? How can then one have the right to manipulate other's thoughts? I say it is an insult as then, you are deprived of your freedom to think and hence, it goes on to affect your freedom of choice. Sorry, I am not here to convince anyone, this is just my perception of looking at this world. I don't intend to manipulate your thoughts now but expression isn't manipulation, or is it?

Chuck Palahniuk (Quotes from Fight Club)

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

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If you woke up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

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Losing all hope was freedom.

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Marla Singer, she's like the scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if you just stop tonguing it but you can't.

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Marla’s philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment, the tragedy she said is that she didn’t.

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No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide.

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Now, a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

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I say stop being perfect, I say let's evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.

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The things you own, they end up owning you.

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Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..

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Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

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First you have to give up, first you have to know, not fear; know that someday you're gonna die.

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The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes, like the first monkey shot into space! Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

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Stop trying to control everything and just let go.

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