Sunday, June 10, 2007

Hate Actually...

It still very much persists! They still hate me as much! I thought times have changed now and we all have matured enough to move on with our lives forgetting the old trifle issues; and they'd started accepting me for what I am and my way of life, but hell no!

They had it all planned out, they've been planning that attack for years now, just waiting for the right moment to strike; waiting for that lonesome moonless night when I would be all tired and helpless, when my only defence would be a calm surrender and which, in this case, meant embracing death at their jaws.

I should've seen it coming, should've recognized the warning signs when about a month back I went for my first cycle ride after 7 years. There they were, all over the alley, swarming the street like soldiers in times of war; I tried to smoothly cross them and a few of them just yelped, making me aware of their presence and the persisting hatred perhaps, but I'd banished these thoughts of hatred when just 2 weeks later the "cute" dog that Ms. Das had made friends with had given me the "I no longer care about your presence" look. It had made me delirious but the celebration was a secret affair, lest some feelings got affected in the process. Then it happened!

The moment had arrived! The stage was set for the encounter. A kilometer long alley, darkness of the night, punctured tires, a solo helpless rider desperate to reach home; it was a perfect trap!

They stood in 3 packs there, guarding their own areas. The first attack was lame, the attacker rose a bit too soon from his act of sleep as that was to be a warning enough for my tired-but-experienced eye to realize the oncoming danger. I accelerated away from them even before the entire pack could come a meter close to me! "They have a lot to explain to someone tomorrow", I thought as I phewed away on my bike. The second pack lay sleeping just a few meters from the first pack and I slowed down a bit seeing some pups playing around the area. I sounded the horn and the dogs nicely let me pass in peace! "Ah this is how its done," I thought. They'd left me thinking such after such a matured and understanding act. Also Ms. Das' advice of, "You just have to talk nicely to them" rung in my head. Alright, I thought, I just have to slow down and sound my horn. But soon I was to learn that the act put up by the second pack was a perfect deceit. There was no niceness in the air, it was plain blood and war! The act of letting me go was a decoy and I took the bait. The third pack lay sleeping some 10 meters from me now and I slowed down again and went on to sound the horn so as to alert them. I should've then noticed the vicious smile that one of the dogs had given me. I was now 4 meters from the pack and only then I heard the sound of heavy breath. I looked to my hind right and yes, there they were, racing on towards me to tear me apart. Seeing me distracted, the third pack took to their legs and the leader barked the "Attack!" bark. They couldn't have got me in a better (for me worse) place as to my left was a gutter, right in front of me stood a parked bus and to my right, some few dozens of blood thirsty canines ready to gnaw my skin!

My mind raced back 11 years. One day when I was happily cycling my way to school humming the background score of "Street Hawk" and trying to act Jessie on my cycle, these beasts had suddenly appeared from nowhere and had resulted in my fall. Then I remembered my neighbour-waking scream which had immediately gathered a crowd around me and thus saving me from the destined death. But back then I'd screamed at 6.30 am, the time when the world waits for their alarm clock to sound again; and now it was 2.30 am - the time when the same people would've fed me to these blood thirsty animals had I disturbed them with my scream. But I had no other option, I was going to be their meal anyway, and so, not letting performance anxiety get to me, I let out that earth-shaking, glass-breaking and most importantly, dog-confusing scream. It was a simple loud "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and it was done by looking straight in the eye of the leader of the pack. Stunned by that voice, I think, the leader backed away and rest of the gang just yelped, frozen in their respective positions. Without wasting a millisecond more, I sped away. I opened the garage door and fell to the ground, the trembling legs couldn't find life in them. A few minutes later I gathered myself and walked into my home.

I guess some things are bound to be and they will never change! Their hatred towards me shall continue forever! But I still hold a soft spot for Labradors and I believe so do they. The Lab owned by my cousin is one of the laziest beasts I've ever seen - too lazy to even bark at strangers, chasing speeding metal is just out of question. So if you ask me if I would ever own a pet dog, then I would say "Yes" only on 3 conditions:
1. It has to be a Labrador
2. You have to clean the poop
3. You have to make him like me somehow. I cannot stand conspirators.

8 comments:

Sneha said...

haha! same here, same here!

when i used to cycle around our colony (mkg), this semi mad dog called 'kallu' would look menacingly at me and had even chased me all the way to my building lobby! but yea, i've never been THIS harrowed :D
the only time i fell down due to some mishap was when a cricket ball (thanks to the boys, rather, the boy who was batting then) came with much speed and got stuck in the spokes of my cycle's hind wheel. shit. that was embarrassing! of course, all of them apologized, etc. but still! lol

Abhu said...

lol!!! i have not had such a tryst with dogs,as of yet. my pup is TOO chweet!!!:D but yeah...these streat dogs r way to pathetic!!

Punvati said...

Hahahaha dogs only catch namunas like u suk :P theyre always perfect gentlemen/women with moi :P

The New Age Superhero said...

@ sneha: i feel u sis.. i feel u.. there was just one "kallu" in ur life.. i'm left to face million others! help! :P

@ abhu: yeah pups look cute n easy.. then they grow on to become the killer beasts that they are

@ div: temme divi.. why me! :(

Red said...

hah!! dogs love me.. they are very like men in that sense.. :p

heh? ok said...

honestly, i don't understand. stray dogs are the sweetest things. i think they sense the disturber in you.

The New Age Superhero said...

@ red: kya baat karti hai! :P

@ heh?ok: sweet? SWEET? SWEET?.. meri jaan lene aayein the.. sweet my ass.. grrrrrr :P

Anonymous said...

I was told that standing still works when they are angry. Next time try that... I can't say for sure if it works, but try it out. If you're left alive, post, thanking me... :D