"Love"ly distractions

Some "love"ly examples:

01) Abu Salem - His career was at its peak as he was all focused on making it big. But then step in Monica and step in trouble. He faced a lotta complications after he fell for her. He had to make several amendments in his lifestyle so as to suit her lifestyle! Phew! Things people do! Finally it resulted in his arrest! Career barbaad and now love lost! Monica's having fun with his dough!

02) Lakshya the movie - Now having lost Preity Zinta, Hritik Roshan was all focused on his career as an army officer, but then he reads the letter stating Preity's break-up with her fiancee and he gets distracted! Dammit Hritik! You are in war! Now you wanna go home so you can spend time with Preity who easily dumped you and had a boy friend and even more, got engaged while you were left battling Pakis! WTH!

03) Apna own Marc Hazard (wonder why he calls himself that when he is so non-Hazardous :P) - He excelled in academics! Topping all the exams and kicking ass! Step in girl and go down marks! Duh! See see! Told ya! Ladki! Pyar! Saley! Sunaa kar! Just don't MARK HAZARDS.. stay away from them! :P (sidey joke I admit!)

04) Ramayan - Sita gets kidnapped! Ram, Lakshman, Hanuman all go crazy! Hanuman gets her home and returns to Lanka to burn it down! God! If Sita were never born, there wouldn't have been so much violence in Lanka! Revenge commeth and then war between Ram and Ravan! Ahhhhhhhhhh.. too many killings man!

05) Mahabharat - Draupadi! God! 5 people marrying her and then the stupid game and then striptease and then Mahabharat! Man! Take off Draupadi from the epic and lets see what all could've been avoided!

06) Sammy my friend - Nice hard-working smart ass. But few years back when he was in love he suffered miserable grades, all his time was wasted in talking about her, thiking about her and then one day they started seeing each other and again time got wasted in handling and caring and staring and wearing and all fucking dearing.. as always a breakup followed in few months.. Sammy goes "waaaaaaaaaaa", girl goes "So!" and down go his grades! But of course, with kick ass people like us around him, he never felt low (or so we intend to think as come Sammy and come ass-kicking!) The first question always was, "So dude! How's your chick?" and then someone had to follow it with, "I heard she's no more you know.. with you! What happened dude?" and then a third guy had to join in with, "So she's seeing K I heard! Sorry man! But she was hot!" And then after everyone bowed their "amen"s to the "she was hot" statement, there used to be an uproar and Sammy bore it all! Had Sammy not been there done that.. he wouldn't have had to bear us! :P

07) Courtney Love - Talking of rockstars, Courtney in and Kurt Cobain out and out from the freaking world! What the fuck! Now she killed him or he killed himself is highly disputed, though it was pretty obvious what that bitch was (and still is) doing!

08) Beatles - Everyone knows the Beatles story! Come Yoko and bye bye Beatles and wohooo drugs!

09) Mohd. Azhar - God! This guy raked in crores. Then he thought of betraying his wife and started concentrating on l'autre femme. His career ended! Monetary losses he faced mainly due to the end of his career as a match-fixer were humongous! (Well, betrayal is a different story really but then you betray cause you are in love again! Huh! How does that EVER happen?)

10) Moi - Happy uncaring kid I was! Then I fell in this shit called love! Slept for 2 hours for nearly an year, messing up my days and finally my acads too. End result: I went through hell for an entire year after the breakup; whereas she found a new guy to screw around within 2 months of the same!

Hence I quote: LOVE ROCKS! :P

Blogshit!

What people blog on!
(This is the meaningful shit.. trust me!)
___________________________

01) life (we so need to know this)
02) love (urghhhh)
03) sex (love again?)(no idiot! it's different! :P)
04) death (we so need to find out why and how!)
05) God and anti-God ("catch" this! :P)
06) poverty (oh we should deal with this asap!)
07) kindness (important supposedly)
08) helplessness and how I helped or how I was helped!(same category as above!) (again it is important)
09) racism (bad bad problem)
10) politics (never understood and total inexperience in the field) (yeah right!)
11) history (I love it, it hates me! :S)
12) movies (Hmmm)
13) music (Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
14) war (pathetic shit... needs to be stopped!)

All the topics that MAKE SENSE really!
___________________________

What I blog on!
(Stuff that you would kill me for making you read!)
___________________________

01) dogs and bitches (whah!!!!!)
02) crossing the roads (what the fuck!)
03) old men falling off their beds (mother of God!)
04) women's thoughts (yeah right!)
05) why people are busy! (and seems like I am just NOT!)
06) Floyd.. whether they should or should not be! (phew! really need to get some work!)
07) why should one not tell me what to blog on! :P

Crossroads.. literally

I do not know what the traffic rules have to say on this, but seriously, something ought to be done on the way people cross the roads!

I do not understand why some HAVE to cross them diagonally! Doesn't that take more time than usual? Fine! 2 seconds more! But hell yeah! If I keep on counting the 2 2 seconds that I keep on losing on a 10km drive, it well amounts to more than 10 minutes and that’s "extremely late" in Mumbai standards! Now it is a different case for a person like me who doesn’t really care if he is late for work or lecture, but what if I get late for a date! Firstly I get to go out on one after billion centuries and over and above that being late is as horrible a crime committed as not being there AT ALL!

I normally do not blame the kids who just keep running across the streets, little do they ever feel the danger, but their caretakers are the stupidest people existing on this planet in my opinion! Once in my bicycle days, I crashed upon a lady who was walking with her kid who was getting, "Do you not know how to walk on the roads? Always tread on the footpath that is to your left and never on the main road!" from her. These words of wisdom were exchanged right in between the divider and the footpath (which means on the main road)!

Then came my crazy scooter days! Parents were against handing me the keys to a bike, so I was forced to travel on a scooter. (Now trust me parents, scooters with automated gears are worse to control than bikes as the only means of controlling these beasts is the brakes, whereas bikes have gears!! But if only people would believe me!) Ah well! So while I was nicely speeding on an apparent empty street at 80kmph, an auto rickshaw just stops and a lady hops down the same. Now my calculations said that by the time I would cross the auto rickshaw, this lady would be still paying the driver, and by the time she would get to the act of crossing, I would have sailed home. But things HAD to go wrong! Utterly wrong! This female, as soon as she jumped from the 3-wheeler, headed straight for the speeding bus that was on the other side of the road! Now here is what happened! Me just sees the rickshaw and since me was on a bridge, I just could see the hind part of the rickshaw, the lady and her movements stayed hidden! So I saw the lady only when I hit her and her open mouth was all the last sight I recall! Then I too hit desperate brakes and my scooter went crazy! The lady was down and out! Seeing no traffic police around, I quickly thanked God, picked up scooter and parked it by the side. Then reached for the "fallen" woman and helped her to her feet. Seeing me doing this, a crowd of people came from no where and asked me, "Is she your mother?" "Did she fall off the scooter?" "Isko chakkar aaya kya? Is she unwell?" I quickly understood why they were asking me these questions. Had I caused the accident, then I wouldn't have been helping her there. Now I did not understand whether this feat of mine was simply stupid or an act of bravado! I still stood there and helped arrange for a chair so that this female would sit! Then got water for her and helped her gain consciousness. Till then, someone had got antiseptic for me and showed me my skin-ripped arm. Ignoring that I stood there to see if that female needed help! "You bastard! You speed demons should be hung to death! I was supposed to go to Kolhapur, my bus starts in 30 minutes, and I should have caught that bus. But you just banged into me. You bastard!" A voice from the crowd roared, "Is he not your son?" "No you idiot! He crashed into me!" And then the antiseptic lady held my collar. Thank God it wasn't a strong hold, I just let it go and my mind quickly worked up a plan! I had to get out of here before cops come and so, "You want me to drop you home? Or shall I stop an auto rickshaw? Where do you stay?" was asked in the "calmest" manner possible! Without waiting for her answer I stopped an auto and told her to rush into it as people had already written down my scooter's license number and one had left to fetch a cop. Me rushed her in the auto and told everyone I will go with her, but as soon as I pushed her in, I told the driver to speed off and me sped towards my scooter, which after a couple of hiccups, roared to life and in time sped from the spot as a couple of musclemen just reached me! That was a close call! But I still fail to understand whose fault it was anyway!

Then I once crashed upon a traffic policeman too. He was crossing the road while cleaning his shoes and me went bang! Fortunately I was on bicycle and all he could do was swear at me! Haha.. fuck ya!

Then one of my school pals had a horrible experience as he was beaten up till he paid Rs.250 to this lady against whom he had crashed and who lay on the road unmoved till he approached her! The moment he got off his bicycle, she started screaming and before he knew it, he was surrounded by 5 people who started hitting him and asked for money! He somehow reached his cycle and started for home! His bad luck! Nobody home and he stayed on the ground floor. Also he being on cycle, it wasn't too difficult for these goons to follow him. So finally he gave them the sum and they let him off! Phew! The next day he came with a fractured arm and black eye and he was the "guy who hit on an old lady" for the next 2 years!

So yeah! Coming back to the point! Car drivers should make rules for everyone as to how one should cross the roads, be it pedestrians, cyclists, auto rickshaw drivers or bikers because they suffer the MOST! Pedestrians have a problem with everyone - from people on a single wheel to people on multiple wheels! Cyclists have a problem with pedestrians alone! Bikers have a problem with pedestrians and cyclists! Auto rickshaws do NOT have a problem AT ALL. They will just crash and dash! Poor 4-wheel drivers suffer tremendously! Hence, guys! Wake up and define road-crossing rules! It's high time! :S

what women want.. the mystery files!

Women do speak alien!

Me: So you gonna tell him you like him?
Her: No way! Why should I approach first?
Me: Hmm... ego eh!
Her: No man! I don't have no ego issues! But I want HIM to come to me first!

Me disconnects the phone and blames it on bad network!

__________________________________

Me: Wanna eat egg bhurji?
Her: Yea yumm.. let's go to some roadside joint where we get it the best!
Me: Yea.. me loves tht too.. the cheaper the better too eh!
Her: Huh? It's not about money!
Me: J-O-K-E
Her: Cheapo! By the way, you got cash right? I really have to save this week!
Me: Hmm!
(and we ate at a roadside joint)

__________________________________

Her: I just spent Rs.750 on a head massage. For 3 hrs they just oiled my hair and gave it a nice massage

I was speechless!

___________________________________

Her: I am studying GMAT so i can go to the US.
Me: Huh! US? What you planning to take up?
Her: That I don't know. You know he's there in the US right? So let me reach the US first, there I will decide. By the way, you heard "B" is going to Pune?
Me: Yeah! She is taking up some acting courses because her boy friend plans to take up the same from there!
Her: What the hell! Mad woman! Does she ever think about her career!

Me reaches for my gun!

By the way - no one went to Pune and no one gave GMAT, so the US plans are still stranded!

the busy-ness

"I'm a bit busy right now, I'll talk to you later? Chal bye", has been typical Theeta response for five months now.

"Dude, meeting, Jai. Later." Sundy is even breezier!

"Hey sweety, what's up? I am out with Sumitu right now. I'll call you as soon as I reach home okay? Bye, take care", Bec's sugary reply is such.

"Arey I'm out on audit. Call you on reaching home", Gauri keeps his word always.

"I am not even in Mumbai dude. I'll call you on reaching Mumbai" and *click* is how Ash concludes so he is not charged for roaming.

"Studying", "shopping", "outing", "friends", "marraige" and multiple reasons refrain PJ from talking to me!

Tanny does it the best way! DISCONNECT the call! No justification to be given at that point of time as to why and how busy he is!

Isn't very difficult to figure out what to do next! Open blogger.com and type in all the frustration!

Now I do understand how self-centered and selfish I act here. I shouldn't keep calling people just because I miss them! C'mon they have their own lives! They have far more important things to do! They have work to do! Look at me! I do have work to do myself, but I still have time to talk! I fail to figure out how and why is it such a case. Then the insecurities one by one start crowding the mind. "Are they trying to avoid me? Is it all over?" I do not understand why my mind enters this territory at all? But when it starts wandering in the "lonesome" zone, chances are, it stays there till someone breaks the silence and says a nice "Hello" to you! But then I realise that I've wasted too much time pondering over self-created "mysteries"! Feeling stupid I tell the person on the phone, "Hey! Am a bit busy right now, is it okay if I give a call back in sometime?"