Thursday, January 04, 2007

Chaos!

You wake up in a disheveled state of mind and there is restlessness within you. You are filled with so much confusion that you tend to act mechanically, as if you are programmed to do so and then there is no act out of consciousness. You start a conversation but suddenly in the middle of the talk you feel you are not making any sense and you fail to understand what the other person is talking, everything sounds gibberish, the words do not make any sense, it becomes just plain commotion. Then you suddenly walk out of the room leaving the other person confused more than furious at the sudden and unexpected act of rudeness. An hour later you realize your folly and you tell the person that you are sorry, the fellow person being your mother forgives your mood swing immediately. Then you switch on the computer and you start your work, suddenly you are lost and the screen just appears white. You keep staring at the screen trying to make sense of what it is trying to tell you, but all you see is a white light. Suddenly you wake up and realize you have wasted an hour just staring at the screen. Then understanding the lost state of mind, you take precautions and so in order to avoid any misunderstandings, you consciously do not log on to any of the IMs. Then all of a sudden you begin to miss the online pals and you sign yourself in onto the IMs. Then someone pings you and at the same time your cell begins to ring, you get so confused between the two sounds that you end up missing the call and never reply to the message on the screen, it is only after 5 minutes when your cell rings again that you realize you are lost, so you answer the cell and also tell the person on the IM that you are busy on the phone. Then happily you listen to the person on the other end; suddenly the person pauses and screams, "Hello! I'm asking you! What have you been upto! Do you hear me?" Then you realize that you were again floating in some personal parallel universe and hence the person on the other end failed to reach you. Abruptly you feel the need to hang up on the caller and you consciously apologize. The caller being your best friend understands and forgives your weirdness. Then a normal afternoon later you suddenly feel the urge to call your friends over when your head actually demands rest. Suddenly the door bell rings, there is a phone call for you, your mother starts shouting for you from the other room and some online friend keeps screaming "Helloooooooooooo!" - all at the same time. You are shaken awake some 10 minutes later by the friend who had just stepped in your room. There is a sudden rush of anger at no one in particular but you just feel like swearing at something, but you regain your consciousness just in time! You apologize now to the online friend telling her there is too much chaos around you and you will get back to her later. She thankfully understands. Then in order to revert back to your original self, you try to resort to your funny ways, but none of the jokes you try to speak make any sense to you. The jokes don't seem funny no more. The friends try to crack you up, but everyone in the room is rolling with laughter whereas you just keep staring at the friend. But again the programmed brain takes over and feeling the surrounding laughter, it commands you to laugh too. Then you go on to play cricket, sudden rush of anger and you hit your fist against a broken pipe injuring your knuckle in the process. The numbness of the mind doesn't make you aware of the pain. You try to bowl but you can't figure out the number of balls bowled or the type of ball to be bowled next; you try to field but you just keep staring at the ball that is hit to you; you try to bat and you just end up hitting it in absurd fashion! You suddenly wish for everyone to disappear! You feel drained out! There is loss of enthusiasm. You go on to strum your guitar and you forget the names of the chords, you forget the strumming pattern, you just hold the guitar and you find it difficult to figure out how to go about playing the song. Then you sit down to type and you fail to understand what you are typing. Suddenly you shake yourself awake, you close the door, close your eyes, gather your thoughts and become aware of the world around you! You sit down and try to reason things out. The sanity is restored finally and life seems normal again; but how long?

14 comments:

raghu said...

shit.

wanderer said...

been there done that.....not a good feeling at all!!! but at the end of it, you think, may be watevr that happened had a reason behind it!!!

Sneha said...

u've been on the doors! u've had too much of them i suppose :P:P that's my diagnosis :))
this post lives up to the blog-name :D hee hee

abhu said...

omg!!! wat a day u had!!! its okay... u probably didnt get enough sleep. nxt tym u feel u not makn sence,jst go off to sleep. dont bother to stay awake and mess da whole day:)

sun4none said...

@ raghu: i kno.. :S

@ wanderer: shit happens.. n sometimes it jst keeps on happning.. bt so do good thngs.. just sometimes we tend 2 focus on the shit than the good part!

@ sneha: hahahah.. yes yes! cud be cud be! i shalt consult u the next time i go thru the same phase.. jst hope its no time soon.. or even never wud be good enuff 4 me :)

@ abhu: yes abhu.. slept well last nite.. much much better today! :)

raghu said...

mamu..get vel soon
:D

heh? ok said...

hmmm...why the suppression though? hit something or break something if you feel like it..china plates is my suggestion. then sweep up the mess....good stuff.

sim said...

awww..poor you!!! shout at somebody and i mean shout, take out all your frustration....works for me all the time.!!! or hmmm....you might not like this idea and you could hate me for life for it...get somebody to slap you real hard (oh and i am not joking...)sometimes it just helps to wake up.. :(

Virus© said...

You go on to strum your guitar and you forget the names of the chords, you forget the strumming pattern, you just hold the guitar and you find it difficult to figure out how to go about playing the song.

Now this is some shit that happens to me too.

Well written, even though you were confused. I wonder how much more sense you'd make if you were alright.

Cheers :)

Divya said...

Ooh perfectly written chaos... Been there done that... just last week actually... wat timing!!:P

hope u better now bro...

sun4none said...

@ raghu: am good :)

@ sangy: yeah.. am gonna kill some ppl :P

@ sim: no one 2 scream at.. no 2 get a slap from :P

@ virus: i read ths now n am laughing at it :)

@ div: ab tereko kya hua? stop tryin 2 be me all the time.. get ur own style of staying depressed :P

Divya said...

Hahahahaha!! as usual ur claiming the copyright ha! u get ur own style na copycat!! :D

heh? ok said...

update, please!

raghu said...

you know your should have lesser labels.. they are there to avoid confusion.. not increase it.