Blank Confusion

I hate this mood! I hate being non-excited! I hate it when I am inactive, when my mind just goes off to sleep, I hate doing nothing, I hate being unproductive even for one second of my life, and here I am, 30 whole minutes and I have done NOTHING! This is killing me really! I tried strumming my guitar but zipped it shut within 2 minutes, then tried to call PJ and GZ but no one answered my call, then messaged my sistaah, but she never replied to it, so I reached for my cell to call her but didn't have the heart to disturb her, so I gave up on the idea and reached for my diary, tried to write some shit but then I thought of blogging it instead! Now by the time blogger.com opened itself, I totally forgot what I wanted to blog on! So now I sit all blank and totally out of ideas before the machine!

As the emptiness fills the mind, I begin to visualize the tomorrow, plan my future that my eyes want to see.

The long road trip on my bike: I would be gone for a year probably, but this, according to my calculations, isn't quite feasible in the next 2 years.

Perform in a concert: But the amount of time I am taking to learn the guitar, it doesn't seem possible for next 5 years.

My career: If everything goes as planned, then I would be packing my baggage and would be on wheels by Jan 2k7!

Treks: They will be happening whenever I get 3 straight days off!

Photography: This new found obsession will commence as soon as I get my digi-cam! So I hope this would be soon!

Sketching: Few years from now, I would be attending some art school

Music: Not sure, but if I get the time to, I surely would join some music school.

Dramatics: I guess I will, but not on my priority really!

The undisclosed: Before July 8th of 2007 surely!

The girl: Umm... No clue! Don't want to label it a priority and screw my brains! So better off alone!

So after exposing my thoughts and yet-to-be-lived-dreams to the world, I feel all geared up to start with "the undisclosed"! Ah! Relief! End of Blank Confusion :P

Diveagaar Beach

Chapter 1 - Lets get married!

Innocent Days: Part - I

Men are believed to be hungry and horny. I represent such a breed! But there did prevail an age of innocence and surprisingly this was just 18 years ago!

This happened in second grade - during an age when guys followed a "we-hate-girls" policy, teacher made an announcement "one-guy-one-girl per bench". Back then, the innocent mouths "boo"ed at the teacher, add 10 more years to our age and the teacher would be blessed for these exact words! (Infact, I would support "one-guy-two-to-three-girls" any given day!)

Now there were four rows in total. The 2nd and the 3rd rows were arranged in such a manner that the benches of 2nd row and 3rd row actually touched each other, making it seem like a bench made for 4 people. Teacher made all the guys sit in the second row and on the right hand side of the bench, so now I prayed for left hand side of the third row to be occupied by a guy, but no! The devil teacher had to put in a girl in there! So I was "trapped" in between two girls! (Ah those innocent years! Now my mind thinks of all the devil things I could have done). So the one on my right was AR and the one on my left was Pals.

Now Pals was really cute I remember and it was an instant-crush! AR on the other hand was forever fighting and I just hated her. After a few days even Pals started hating AR and this helped me and Pals to become amazing friends. Me and Pals used to be together all the time and even during recess we never left our seats. Then Pals was sick one day and Amrish (AR's partner) was also absent. So out of no choice we were forced to bear each other for the entire day. Surprisingly we had fun! Pals came back the next day but Amrish continued to stay absent for remaining week (I guess.. don't remember clearly now). AR had no one but me to talk and so she had to be good to me. Then came holidays and I knew staying away from Pals was going to bother me, but staying away from AR too started bothering me somehow. Then my innocent little brain started thinking, "Ah Sun! There's only one chick you can marry at a time (Holy fuck! Direct marriage! Crazy minds man!). So you have to decide between Pals and AR". Entire night I kept on thinking and finally the cuteness and original sweetness of Pals made her an obvious winner! Holidays went on miserably and I was dying for school to start just to meet Pals so I can tell her about my plans of marrying her. Come school days and Pals had some news to tell, "Arey Sun, I met this guy at my aunt's place and he was so cute.... ". She went on about this cute guy for the entire day but I had already switched off. "Should've chosen AR, I knew it! Pals won't marry you!" But Amrish had come back and AR refused to talk to me now! I do not quite recall what I had called AR back then but had I am guessing it was something equivalent to "BITCH"!

Ah well, the poor me felt the heart break for the first time at such a tender age of 6! Next grade, Pals went in some other class but AR remained in my class, but me and AR never talked. In 4th grade, I heard Pals had changed school. Well, I told myself to move on, "there'll be someone else you'll find to marry Sun, I'm sure" (I recall telling this to myself!)

Heart broken and shaken, I was determined to never fall for a girl again and so I took to studies very seriously. Then I stepped in 7th grade!

(to be continued..)

Introduction

There always comes a time in life when one decides to go insane and fall in love! There are people who decide to be secretive about this "love" they have for that certain someone and choose to die a silent death in their someone's memory by never expressing their feelings; and then there are people like me!

People like me will see to it that no matter what, these "love"ly feelings are expressed loud and clear to that "loved" one, people like me will bark out their feelings to their crushes cause people like me believe in "I will never know if I never try"! (In case confidence fails us sometimes, there are always the over-enthusiastic friends who do the needful for you so that your "love" never goes un-noticed.) However, people like me go with an attitude of "Love me or I forgive thee" and the innumberable defeats never detract us from trying for that next cute chick who comes along the way and we are again all set to get "crushed"!

Disclaimer: All the characters in this series are real and existing. Any resemblance to the fictitious and dead is a mere coincidence.