I've never claimed my life to be fun. As I had mentioned in my "firstest" post, fun and me stay hundred miles apart. But I have always believed that there was some kind of motion in my life. All this has come to a disturbing halt! Oh, the chaos still exists, but there is monotony. I used to bitch about it but I admit to have learnt quite a lot from this chaos itself; but suddenly the chaos has silenced itself in a very different way. There used to be million things in my head while I went on to live my day, but I've arrested the rest of my activities and now there is monotony. It was supposed to simplify my life but it has complicated my mind further, the result of inactivity surely.
It has been more than three months since I've touched that black diary of mine, so all these days I haven't written a single word; it's been 5 days since I've played a complete song on my guitar, (it's been more than a month since I've learnt a new song which is another disturbing fact); it's been more than a month since I've gone for a nice jog and stared at the sidey couples making out in the park; it's been more than 3 months since the next door aunty has seen me work out from her glass window; it's been God-knows-how-many months since I've talked utter nonsense with Ms. Mohanty or Mr. Rangarajan or even Ms. Das for that matter, (Ms. Das and Ms. Mohanty have suddenly disappeared in their own sweet world is a different issue altogether, though I haven't had a proper opportunity to disturb them either); also Ms. P Singh has been busy with her life and no pseudo flirting has had happened in past 2 months apparently; it's been 2 weeks since I've shaved my beard and 3 months since I've trimmed the goatee part of it, I was forced to shampoo it the other day as it started getting entangled within itself, that was one hell of a moment! My deodorant bottle is empty and I have been stinking at work for 4 days now; my sketch book lies untouched and I don't know if I can draw anymore, there is more to support this doubt of mine - the other day when my friend asked me to draw a caricature of a cow, I tried making the same for some 4 days and was totally unsuccessful! It was pathetic! I haven't read the newspaper for more than a month now, I never was much of a news channel guy, but I still tried to stay in tune with the happenings in this mockshit labeled as " our world"; VH1 and all other music channels simply don't matter to me anymore.
I just am feeling I've arrested my own self at a place where I am actually beginning to believe I'm "working"! I've never worked in my life and I don't like to work! I have always believed that the purpose of life is defeated when you stop enjoying it and well, that is exactly what happens when you feel you are "working"!
Well, as Scott Stapp rightly says:
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
Now kindly excuse me, I have to jet, need to reach office in 30 minutes! So long and goodnight!
******************************************************
PS: A special thanks to Ms. Divya, Ms. Red and Ms. Kaul for their smart ass messages which have helped me get through some really dull and boring moments that have become a frequent phenomena of late.
******************************************************
PPS:
Dread not those who curse you
'Cause they are inviting their own doom
Keep the ones who bless you
'Cause it's them who'll help you get through
(It may not be the best creations, but it is very related)
It has been more than three months since I've touched that black diary of mine, so all these days I haven't written a single word; it's been 5 days since I've played a complete song on my guitar, (it's been more than a month since I've learnt a new song which is another disturbing fact); it's been more than a month since I've gone for a nice jog and stared at the sidey couples making out in the park; it's been more than 3 months since the next door aunty has seen me work out from her glass window; it's been God-knows-how-many months since I've talked utter nonsense with Ms. Mohanty or Mr. Rangarajan or even Ms. Das for that matter, (Ms. Das and Ms. Mohanty have suddenly disappeared in their own sweet world is a different issue altogether, though I haven't had a proper opportunity to disturb them either); also Ms. P Singh has been busy with her life and no pseudo flirting has had happened in past 2 months apparently; it's been 2 weeks since I've shaved my beard and 3 months since I've trimmed the goatee part of it, I was forced to shampoo it the other day as it started getting entangled within itself, that was one hell of a moment! My deodorant bottle is empty and I have been stinking at work for 4 days now; my sketch book lies untouched and I don't know if I can draw anymore, there is more to support this doubt of mine - the other day when my friend asked me to draw a caricature of a cow, I tried making the same for some 4 days and was totally unsuccessful! It was pathetic! I haven't read the newspaper for more than a month now, I never was much of a news channel guy, but I still tried to stay in tune with the happenings in this mockshit labeled as " our world"; VH1 and all other music channels simply don't matter to me anymore.
I just am feeling I've arrested my own self at a place where I am actually beginning to believe I'm "working"! I've never worked in my life and I don't like to work! I have always believed that the purpose of life is defeated when you stop enjoying it and well, that is exactly what happens when you feel you are "working"!
Well, as Scott Stapp rightly says:
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
Now kindly excuse me, I have to jet, need to reach office in 30 minutes! So long and goodnight!
******************************************************
PS: A special thanks to Ms. Divya, Ms. Red and Ms. Kaul for their smart ass messages which have helped me get through some really dull and boring moments that have become a frequent phenomena of late.
******************************************************
PPS:
Dread not those who curse you
'Cause they are inviting their own doom
Keep the ones who bless you
'Cause it's them who'll help you get through
(It may not be the best creations, but it is very related)
