Ma Voix!

"I love to talk". I'll bring forward a million people who'll vouch for that. "I just cannot talk". And a few hundred people will vouch for that!

Way back during my forgetful school years, I used to either crack a joke or be the joke cause of my needless speech. Suddenly it dawned upon me that I should shut the hell up rather than talking the talk that I used to talk. So I went in some sort of a shell during my early college years.

I had a blissful time in junior college really. The number of days I attended the class were directly proportional to the number of hot chicks I met. But here again was the confusion - whether or not to talk my talk. After two years of intense thinking I decided, "Ah what the hell, let's talk!" But by the time I woke up to speak, the hot chicks had disappeared! It was a tragic loss for the chicks! Sigh!

Then came the senior college years, these were some of the best days of my social life as I learnt to bloody talk. The hot chicks, alright whom am I kidding, "the chicks" were finally celebrating that I was talking! It was a big relief for them.

Years rolled on and the bizarre talk was just to get more bizarre. But there still remained instances where in my voice has totally failed me. Now in order that I save millions from embarrassment, I decide to not disclose all of these incidents. Before enlisting the same and embarrassing a million people other than me, I put forth some of my strong beliefs.

1) I am of the strictest of opinions that the process of oral examination should be banned. It is such a devastating, heinous and treacherous act where the teachers, who instead of boosting the confidence in the student, themselves try to shake it all off by this one act. Such practices adopted by millions of schools and institutions should be instantly taken care of!

2) I believe the courtrooms should be IM enabled, so in case a lawyer loses the confidence to speak or argue, he should be handed over a laptop where he can nicely log on to some IM, type out his argument and fight out the same. So convenient for everyone this! Imagine the judge, the prosecutor as well as the defendant quietly fighting over the case over their IMs. They may even ask other lawyers to join in the discussion so as to get in more points for the appellant as well as the defendant. Also the judge may refer to other judges for their opinion on the proceedings. It would not only help impart justice but also beat corruption. The more the number of judges the case is referred to, the more the people will be involved in imparting of justice. Therefore if the client plans to "buy" the justice, he will not only have a large number of mouths to feed, but also an uncertain number of mouths. Therefore things would become as good as impossible for him and justice might just prevail. So people like Mulayam Singh Yadav would well reside where they best belong!

Now if IMs are implemented in the court rooms, even the moot court examinations conducted by law colleges can be held on the IMs and the students can be saved of the pressure and stress! I speak for thee, my "legal" comrades, do I get an "amen"?

3) Also the evil practice of group-discussions, debates and interviews should be done away with. If it is still to exist, then it should be made mandatory that every person in a GD or a debate be given a laptop and an IM in case he gets stuck while raising a vital point or placing an important argument. It is only then that his intelligence can be rightfully tested.

Now that I'm done stating my beliefs, I go on to type out some personal experiences:
1) The stage fear has cost me some vital marks in my Business Communication exam. This forced me to take up subjects I didn't quite like in my second year B.Com which then resulted a horrific performance in the finals of that year, therefore again depriving me of the subjects I wanted for my final and most crucial year of graduation. Result: Expected average marks in TYBCom! Blame it on one failed "stage-performance" 2 years back!

2) While I was planning to get into a good B-School after having cleared the written tests quite easily, there was to be a group discussion round and an interview. Enter the GD room and exit my voice. Finally the examiner shouted out my roll number, "So do you have anything to share with us at all?" Had it been some other day I would've slapped him for his rudeness, but at that point of time the sweat flowed off my forehead like a flooding river and my tongue refused to untie itself. I looked into everyone's staring eyes and I suddenly found my voice, the language coming out of my mouth made me a sound like a perfect student who needs to apply for some "rapid english speaking course". It was embarrassing. As though I hadn't embarrassed myself enough, there was to be an interview. The interview started with "So why do you plan to study MBA?". The utmost calm that I was, I realized that there is no reason solid enough for me to pursue an MBA. Quietly I said, "I don't know" and left the room to the non-astonishment of the interviewers (who were present at the GD too btw, so I guess this was expected by them).

3) There were people pelting stones at some chirpy bats as these bats were keeping them awake at 10 o'clock in the morning. Enraged I screamed at the inhuman human beings. They hurled back some sweet curses and I had no answer to the same. I really wish we were fighting over an IM back then, then I would've had showed those buggers a thing or two for messing with the bats and swearing at me. Lucky bastards!

4) On the rooftop there was a fight for kite. Suddenly my voice deserted me as I fumbled with my reply. Result: Even my own friends couldn't stop laughing at me.

The list goes on. However, there have been times when I just never stopped talking. Like over the phones, although during the conversation I've long realized of how tired the person on the other end has been hearing my voice. This has not only cost me and my dad some "unhealthy" phone bills but also my dear friends and their parents at the other end of the line the same! Sorry guys!

Then there are times when I just can't stop talking, like when I'm utterly nervous, especially during exams. Worst part is this attack of unstoppable talk strikes me while writing a paper. This had earned me the title of "exam-hall radio" during my junior college years. Ms.W always used to come to tell me to kindly shut my "radio station" off during exam hours.

Ah well, I have finally developed an attitude of "I'll keep talking the talk that I like to talk as long as this talk makes me and keeps me happy and this talk isn't affecting the listener physically or emotionally." As the talk I talk has helped me as much as it has failed me and the wannabe optimist that I am, I intend to look at the good things that my endless gab has earned me. So people, bear me or I forgive thee!

Just Another Chaos!

March 20, 2007 - 20:00 hrs

I'd expected it to be a lazy day and I wasn't to be one bit wrong. Didn't sleep a great sleep the night before since my PC was busy stealing some stuff off the net and so I had to wake up every 2 hours to check the download progress; man it's hard work I tell you - downloading stuff - you have to keep track of the same lest it suddenly stops as some selfish bastard refuses to share the shit just like that; but as it turned out my PC failed me this time as at 4.30 am it experienced some system error which forced me to shut it down. The stupid cell reminder disrupted my sleep at 7 am as this friend of mine had left a message to wake her up at 7.30 am. Brushed my teeth, took a stroll on the terrace and called her up only to find that she had never slept the night! Soyi bhi nahi aur boli bhi nahi! Rs.2.50 ka fatka subah subah! Kya yaar! Then I put on the newly downloaded album, but never really finished listening to the first song itself as I took the guitar and tried to strum whatever I'd heard. 10 minutes later I was strumming a different song altogether! A tea break later I reached for the newspaper, then checked blogger for new posts and finally logged on to the mother of all distractions - orkut! An hour later this guy from my uncle's office came calling for me to discuss the project I'd done for them. The most bizarre discussion followed as the wannabe clerk - cum - manager - cum - accountant - cum - designer - cum - artist - cum - ad man - cum - HR exec. - cum -Marketing exec. - tried to feed his ideas into my mocking brain. Two hour long discussion later, I came home and narrated the same to my curious mother and we had a nice laugh pre-lunch. Afternoon was wasted "orkutting" and playing the guitar, evening was spent praying and getting over a weird conversation with a friend who tried to act as "un-cheer-up-able" as possible but the forces of nature won't let her stay in that mood for long, not me! Beware you!

It's 8.15 pm now and I don't expect to get arrested for killing Bob Woolmer as of yet so I think I will watch "The Departed" and sleep in peace for the night. Hope to put up some more chaos by tomorrow. Till then all you people out there, be good and don't do drugs, it kills you know!
Tada!

Chaos Re-Visited

So I thought of the day when this blog came into being. It was sometime back in June 2006 when I had nothing productive to do throughout the day (not that I've become overtly productive now with the time in hand but back then things were worse) and I thought of starting an online diary of some kind, on reading which I was to make myself feel guilty for having wasted my entire day doing nothing! Also it was to cheer me up in someway after having had spent a miserable day at work. The idea died at its birth as the next post took a nice long month to appear on the blog. Two days ago, while I was nicely enjoying my vacation and bathing in the sea, I recalled this long lost thought behind starting my blog and once again I resolved to add to the chaos everyday! So here I go again, trying to live up to what I'd set to achieve and more - to entertain and to re-live!

Love, Tainted?

He seemed happy today as he quietly played solitaire on the new laptop. Raghav stole sometime from his books and just about managed to catch his fading smile. Raghav looked at the clock, "One hour", he muttered, "how much more time!" Raghav was getting impatient. He was finding it difficult to concentrate on his studies as the presence of his father distracted him. Finally it happened, he got bored of solitaire and unable to find the laptop of any more use for the time being, he shut close the machine and zipped it up. He left the room and Raghav let the tension ease. In another hour or so he would leave for work and it would leave Raghav relaxed and unfortunately, happy!

Raghav again felt guilty for this happiness. The loss of respect for his own father bothered Raghav. It left him confused, not sure if it was right to have these negative feelings. The care and abundant love for the son was all obvious but his father's loose morals, his laziness, his cowardice and his way of life had affected Raghav's feelings towards him. It had made him look like a man of no values and that left Raghav frustrated to the core!

Raghav recalled the conversation he had had with his mother a few months back, "So how can we afford all this", he'd asked. "What do you mean?", she'd asked, confused. "Well", he said, "we have the latest electronic gadgets always, we have 3 cars, we live a lavish life, don't we?" He'd chosen to ignore the disturbed look on her face as he'd continued, "one of my friends the other day questioned me as to how we are able to afford all this. Although I'd just laughed him away, his question has been really haunting me since and today I demand answers!" He'd felt a tremor pass through him and his legs tremble, but he'd continued, "I want to know how much do you invest and how are the household expenses split between.." "What do you think?", she'd cut him. "I don't know and so I'm asking. I thought over it and as per my knowledge, he doesn't earn more than Rs.30,000 and we cannot be earning more than Rs.20,000 from the interest cheques. We were never into stock market, so our monthly earnings.." "Why do you think we fight so often?" Raghav had anticipated the answer to his questions even before his mother had said it but he still had to be sure before he jumped to any conclusions. Too stunned to think, he'd continued, "..cannot be more than.. and our monthly expenditure is certainly.." "Raghav", she'd stopped him, "Don't you understand? Isn't it too obvious to you yet? If not then why don't you ask your father the same question, I would really like to know his say on this." Raghav had stared at his mother, he had been too disturbed to be still, he had felt it all too unbearable, he'd felt filth all around him, he'd felt cheated, he'd felt disgusted! It had made him lose all the respect he'd held for his father for all these years! "So I was fed on tainted money all my life? My education, my books, everything has been paid out of that bribed money?" "No! I worked so I could feed you, I worked so I could educate you, the money spent to raise you was earned by me. Don't worry, I raised you". There was nothing more to say, Raghav had quickly hugged his mother, he had been in tears, he'd looked at the woman who'd stuck to her principles and was still able to give him all the comforts that he'd ever demanded, whereas his father went on to live a valueless life! He'd felt betrayed then. He'd always thought his father to be a clean guy, now he'd felt cheated! Hadn't it been for his mother then, he would've had quit his home.

Cowardice or maturity, he wasn't sure, but he felt he'd done the right thing then cause he was later to learn that his father had helped numerous people with the same money. His father had actually been a God to all the needy workers who worked under him for a petty Rs.30 per day. He had spent on paying school fees for their kids, he'd spent on paying for their hospital bills, he'd taken care of them like his own family. All of them were helped without even them asking him for the same. His father had before tried to refuse 'the money', but the same had gone in someone else's pocket under the name of his father. Therefore, his father had sketched a simple policy, he would accept the money, though he would never demand the same, no matter what, this would never affect his work, he would always give it a 100%. Raghav had learnt this from a visiting labourer who'd come to thank his father for all the good that he had done to him. It had left Raghav a bit relieved.

Raghav never expected his father to be a rebel, the one who would stand up and fight against the corruption, but he still expected his father to be strong, a man with principles, a man who had it in him to say "NO" to temptations. However, Raghav had come to terms with the man his father was, and though the labourer had arrested and almost driven away all the hatred he had towards his father, he was unable to restore the lost respect.

My Room

Firstly, this post is inspired by this brilliant post written by Ms. Red on her blog. So thank you Ms. Red!

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If I have to describe my room then in one word I will term it as my "prison", but it is so amazingly beautiful that I would never want to leave it.

It's a simple structure really, nearly a square-shaped construction with the entrance and the window facing each other and the ugly-looking-and-a-total-misfit computer table (actually made to place a television but my dad somehow thought there wasn't much of a difference between a computer table and a TV trolley.. but that's another story) to the left of the window and a white coloured fixed-to-the-wall study table bang opposite this ugly PC table (on which the PC rests of course). These windows are forever closed as the rodents visit our building pretty often and they take a sneak-peek at me during night times - those voyeurs! Besides I prefer keeping the curtains closed as my PC screen faces the window and my neighboring aunt can easily view what plays on my PC screen, so just in case she may get all embarrassed, I keep her from seeing the same. Then my guitar lies to the right of the table which is right next to my chair where my butt rests for 14 (if not 16) hours of the day. In totality there are 3 chairs in my room - one of the chairs is adopted from the dining room on which the clothes rest, the second one is the last remaining piece of furniture from my old PC trolley (which actually was a PC trolley but broke due to.... sorry! the reasons shall remain undisclosed) and this chair offers rest to my college-sack-cum-haversack and the guitar cover. The third chair, which I use to rest my ass on, is part of some old furniture from dining room, which I refused to part with due to its high-comfort level! Then there are 6 cupboards in all of which 2 are fixed to the white study table and used for storing clothes, memorabilia and other undisclosed matter and remaining the remaining 4 cupboards are used to store books. The study table has 4 never-to-be-opened drawers since they won't close without the intervention of an expert hand! Also the cupboards used for storing my clothing etc. is kept locked as a precautionary measure from being charged of murder or an attempt to murder by the family of an innocent unsuspecting being who might just open them without a prior warning. The books are neatly arranged though in the cupboards and that is the cleanest part of my room. However the cupboards hold books from the 12th grade to my 2nd sem LLB plus encyclopedia and other miscellaneous books which have let the shelves to reach the optimum capacity that they can hold and hence the study table is filled up by books from the rest of the semesters. Besides these, the table also provides a resting place for half-read novels, never-read novels and nearly-done-with novels mixed with a black diary. The other stuff that lays on this table will be some newspaper articles, 3 idols of Ganpati, a few deodorant bottles, a telephone, my cellphone, cell phone charger, torches, wallet, guitar picks and an old keyboard.

Note: You won't find a bed in my room. I got rid of it some 4 years ago when I rated it as some useless piece of furniture after discovering that sleeping on the floor was the best way to fight the mumbai heat and thus earn myself a sound sleep!

On my door hinges hangs 2 never-used leather belts and a couple of never-used paper bags, I fail to recall the day when these things started "hanging-out" on these hinges! Nicely hidden and stuck on the wall behind this door is my never-read and referred to exercise schedule sketched by me some 4 years ago.

My maid is happiest while cleaning my room since she can barely step in it, so cleaning the place is out of question; also after the murderous look I gave when she nearly fell my guitar, she refrains from touching any of my "personals" and let them lay astray!

My friends on coming over are either forced to import chairs from other rooms or they rest their bums on the floor. My bozo relatives see a totally different world from its "outside" when they step into my room. Their eyes can barely believe the sight and I've heard rumors of them asking each other if they've stepped in someone else's house by mistake!

This beautiful room was designed some 15 years ago and the walls carry the old torn posters of Peugeot and 1998 Maclaren Merc. A Floyd and a Metallica poster was torn to pieces by some unclaimed body and the investigations to find the criminal are still on for 4 years now.

Finally, I love my room! Thank you mommy and daddy for gifting me such a wonderful room! Love ya! :)

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Here is an artist's impression of my room.. well... almost!

Chaos!

You wake up in a disheveled state of mind and there is restlessness within you. You are filled with so much confusion that you tend to act mechanically, as if you are programmed to do so and then there is no act out of consciousness. You start a conversation but suddenly in the middle of the talk you feel you are not making any sense and you fail to understand what the other person is talking, everything sounds gibberish, the words do not make any sense, it becomes just plain commotion. Then you suddenly walk out of the room leaving the other person confused more than furious at the sudden and unexpected act of rudeness. An hour later you realize your folly and you tell the person that you are sorry, the fellow person being your mother forgives your mood swing immediately. Then you switch on the computer and you start your work, suddenly you are lost and the screen just appears white. You keep staring at the screen trying to make sense of what it is trying to tell you, but all you see is a white light. Suddenly you wake up and realize you have wasted an hour just staring at the screen. Then understanding the lost state of mind, you take precautions and so in order to avoid any misunderstandings, you consciously do not log on to any of the IMs. Then all of a sudden you begin to miss the online pals and you sign yourself in onto the IMs. Then someone pings you and at the same time your cell begins to ring, you get so confused between the two sounds that you end up missing the call and never reply to the message on the screen, it is only after 5 minutes when your cell rings again that you realize you are lost, so you answer the cell and also tell the person on the IM that you are busy on the phone. Then happily you listen to the person on the other end; suddenly the person pauses and screams, "Hello! I'm asking you! What have you been upto! Do you hear me?" Then you realize that you were again floating in some personal parallel universe and hence the person on the other end failed to reach you. Abruptly you feel the need to hang up on the caller and you consciously apologize. The caller being your best friend understands and forgives your weirdness. Then a normal afternoon later you suddenly feel the urge to call your friends over when your head actually demands rest. Suddenly the door bell rings, there is a phone call for you, your mother starts shouting for you from the other room and some online friend keeps screaming "Helloooooooooooo!" - all at the same time. You are shaken awake some 10 minutes later by the friend who had just stepped in your room. There is a sudden rush of anger at no one in particular but you just feel like swearing at something, but you regain your consciousness just in time! You apologize now to the online friend telling her there is too much chaos around you and you will get back to her later. She thankfully understands. Then in order to revert back to your original self, you try to resort to your funny ways, but none of the jokes you try to speak make any sense to you. The jokes don't seem funny no more. The friends try to crack you up, but everyone in the room is rolling with laughter whereas you just keep staring at the friend. But again the programmed brain takes over and feeling the surrounding laughter, it commands you to laugh too. Then you go on to play cricket, sudden rush of anger and you hit your fist against a broken pipe injuring your knuckle in the process. The numbness of the mind doesn't make you aware of the pain. You try to bowl but you can't figure out the number of balls bowled or the type of ball to be bowled next; you try to field but you just keep staring at the ball that is hit to you; you try to bat and you just end up hitting it in absurd fashion! You suddenly wish for everyone to disappear! You feel drained out! There is loss of enthusiasm. You go on to strum your guitar and you forget the names of the chords, you forget the strumming pattern, you just hold the guitar and you find it difficult to figure out how to go about playing the song. Then you sit down to type and you fail to understand what you are typing. Suddenly you shake yourself awake, you close the door, close your eyes, gather your thoughts and become aware of the world around you! You sit down and try to reason things out. The sanity is restored finally and life seems normal again; but how long?

Legal Frustrations: Part 1

"Ignorance of law cannot be pleaded" so shouts some legal maxim! It is assumed that every person who resides in the country or who is residing in the country (irrespective of him being a resident of the same), knows the law of the land. So if one is charged for committing a particular act as it is against the law of the land, then he cannot plead on the grounds that he was ignorant of the fact that such an act is not allowed by the law of that State. So law expects each and every citizen of the country to know the law. so every citizen needs to understand the law. But then I look at the bare act and find statements running 10 to 12 lines which can be explained in just a single line. Here is an example:
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If I want to state: "I would like to have a cup of coffee, less sugar and more milk"

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Then the Indian Restaurant Act, 1901 will quote the same line in such simple words:

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SCHEDULE II

19: Rules regarding placement of an order
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(23) Less sugar and more milk

a) Coffee shall be any coffee as defined under Sec. 2(35) and cup shall be any cup as defined under Sec. 2(19) or any such vessel that shall have the ability to hold as much volume of liquid that can be held by a cup as defined under Sec. 2(19) and where vessel shall be any vessel as defined under Sec. 2(76) and liquid shall be any liquid as defined under Sec. 2(54) and milk shall be any milk as defined under Sec. 2(23) and sugar shall be any sugar as defined under Sec. 2(17) of the Act.

b) The placement of order where order shall be anything as defined under Sec. 2(12) for less of sugar and more of milk where less shall be anything that can be lesser than the original quantity of sugar that shall be added to the coffee according to the rules of that particular restaurant but which shall not be less than that quantity of sugar which under normal circumstances any competent person would consider necessary and shall not be acting under any coercion or undue influence or fraud or mistake where coercion shall be coercion as defined under Sec. 15 of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and undue influence shall be as undue influence as defined under Sec. 16 of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and fraud shall be fraud as defined under Sec. 17 of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and mistake shall be any mistake of fact as defined under Sec. 19(1) of Indian Contract Act, 1872 for the purpose of this Section and such lesser sugar shall not be lesser than that quantity of sugar which a competent person acting under normal circumstances and not under coercion or fraud or undue influence or mistake shall as per his judgment in normal circumstance shall consider as necessary and more of milk can be anything that shall be more than the original volume of milk which shall be added to the coffee according to the rules of that particular restaurant but which shall not be less than that volume of milk which under normal circumstances any competent person not acting under any coercion or undue influence or fraud or mistake and shall consider it necessary to add to the coffee.

c) If the provisions of the above mentioned clause (b) are not met with then a compensation which shall not be less than the cost of the coffee as per that restaurant menu where menu shall be any such document of contents as defined under Sec. 2(9) shall be paid to the aggrieved customer where customer shall be any such individual as defined under Sec. 2(2).

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Yes my dear friends! This has to be understood by a common man! If one fails to understand this then he shall be penalised! Exactly why lawyers are needed, so they simplify this shit and use it as per their convenience to kick their client's ass where client shall be any such individual as defined under Sec. 2(...) :P


(to be continued..)

Dhoom 2 - The Crucification

I am feeling criminal to blog on this topic for 2 reasons:

01) I am wasting my time on things not worth talking about.
02) I am wasting my blog space and misusing my freedom of blogging for free.

But I still intend to go ahead and abuse my freedom of expression for reasons like these:
I read some article in the newspaper where a kid stole his uncle's money to watch this movie and a few days back some kid killed himself as he was not allowed to see this movie.

So my advice:
Please let them go ahead and watch the movie; trust me, that will serve them as a punishment enough! Never again will they ever insist on watching some movie just because it is over-hyped. They will mature right away to think before acting desperate to watch some movie just because the promoter's begging them to. So in a way, this post is for a social cause.

Things I learnt from this movie:
01) Queen of England's bodyguards cannot aim at a stable standing body.
02) One can use a skateboard to protect oneself from the bullets.
(The rumors are strong that the Mithun Chakraborthy's concept of splitting the bullet into two parts is being researched upon. The dynamics and the probabilities are all being calculated for implementing them in Dhoom 3).
03) One can stay submerged in waters for as long as possible and as silent as possible using a water scooter. Submarines are outdated now!
04) Aishwarya Rai should give up on acting.
05) Abhishek Bachan should join a gym and fast! His belly is quite well pronounced when Hritik stands besides him and he gives a tough competition to Aishwarya Rai when it comes to biceps!
06) Bipasha has one of the best butts Indian cinema's ever seen!
07) Sunehari lives in Andheri. Sunehari Andheri.
08) I am hot = I am feeling hot.
09) Bipasha's bikini is "cute". (Becca said so, so it must be true. All I care for is "what lies beneath")
10) One has to love someone so much that one should be able to kill this loved one for the sake of love. (It is a really complicated phenomenon, only seen to be understood)
11) Mumbai cops use helicopters.
12) A thief steals one night and is the item-boy or item-girl the next night!
13) To get the attention of some dude, all a chick has to do is, place two fingers before one's eyes and ask, "So are you like checking me out?"
14) Wear a Hawaiian shirt over a "Rolling Lips". That's fashion for you man! Ask AB!
15) Brazil has given up Latino and Samba, Punjabi pop-shit's the in-thing there!
16) Aishwarya should learn to walk and stand like a normal female. Ramp is not the only place females walk on!
17) The movie should've done away with:
The songs, the director and the production unit, the dialogue/script writer, the story writer (if there was one), Rimi Sen, Bipasha Basu, Uday Chopra, Aishwarya Rai and rest other jokers, even Abhishek Bachan. The movie could've just been about Hritik Roshan and the way he steals and it would've still done as well!
18) This movie is equivalent to movies like Kaal, Veer Zara and Waqt (the other crappy movies I was made to see in a theatre).

The list really goes on but really, I am sleepy now and I have spent good 20 minutes on this post, wasting even a single second more would be unjust towards me, you and the movie (cause it just doesn't deserve it).

Trust me, even if I intend to make a spoof on this one, I can't, as the movie is a spoof in itself!

My Rating: 0.005/10

world doesn't let me study!

Scene 1:

All freaked out considering the mammoth balanced portion of land laws, I wake up at 7 am, but weird desires of internet bind me and thus refrain me from reaching my study table till 9 am. But by 9.10 am, my studies are in full swing!

Scene 2:

Its 10 am and nanny calls up! Mom and nanny have a fight and being a good son, I have to hear the story and do the consoling. By the time the drama ends, it's already 11.15 am. Then I think of checking my scraps on orkut for just 5 minutes and I realize that its 11.55 am in 5 bloody minutes! Shocked to the core I confirm my plans with R to meet up in the library by 1 pm. Plans confirmed, I depart in time.

Scene 3:

Reach college by 1.15 pm. It's 4 pm and I am still studying! Just when it seems life is going to rock and I'm going to kick ass in land laws, in steps A! Now A is extremely helpful, nice female, but there's something like being "over-helpful"and she is just that, which makes her real pain in ass! Then there's R who keeps teasing me, "A likes you yaa"! And all I can offer R is a finger! But R never quits! So after 30 minutes of lecture from Miss. A, me and R get back to studies!

Scene 4:

It's 5 pm and sun is setting, so sun rays reach me and R, and we both switch places when heat gets unbearable! My efforts to tell R to strip so she can bear the heat better go in vain as now she gives me the finger! At 5.30 pm A steps in with her gang of 15 friends and noise fills the classroom! Irritated by the screams of especially A, I tell R to shift from there but stubborn R just wouldn't move. Irritated, I shift to the original seats and A follows me! "Grrrrrr... "I shout as R starts laughing to the extent that she falls from her chair!

Scene 6:

It's 6.30 pm and land laws has really taken it's toll on me. I go to R and tell her, "Let's go for a walk yaa, am bugged". R again acts stubborn, "Lemme just get done with this chapter and then we'll go". But then R gets my I-Pod and tells me the story of the Makheija guy of Demonic Resurrection, who's her boy-friend's good bud, and by the time the story gets over and me and R decide to get back to law, its 7.15 pm and the lights go out!

Scene 7:

Determined to study, R and I head to the adjacent MBA college campus to study in the canteen. We reach the canteen and our hungry stomachs satisfy themselves first and then the books come on the table!

Update:
In between my dear friend Raghu did bug me with 6 SMSes in a row! I had to reply to receive all of them which cost me Rs.2! Raghu, you owe me 2 bucks dawg!

Suddenly it's 7.30 pm and the waiter tells us that they are closing down! Frustrated, R and I walk outta the canteen and sit on the staircases wondering what to do, where to go and study!

Scene 8:

R sketches a plan. "If only we can snoop in this college." "Dudette! If we get caught, we will get screwed! We don't even belong to this college!" I warn her, but R says, "Let's try na!" . So both of us somehow give a slip to the watchman and get in the college. We walk in as if we know the area (when we both have never been in that building before). "We'll just see na where all the students are sitting and we'll sit there", come R's expert advice! "Yeah!" I dumbly reply (R is too cute to say "No" okay!!). So me and R go upstairs but all rooms are occupied. A peon asks us what we want and I say, "The study room". He asks, "The second floor one?" Me and R not having the slightest of ideas where the study room is, innocently say "Yes". "Ah, go from here", he directs us. We head to second floor and find there are no lights there and a small light comig from a distant room. Me and R head towards it and are stunned by the sight! "Shit! He thought we are here to make-out!" R shouts. We both run outta the college building laughing our heads off and are rather embrassed! "Well, we should've made out at least yaa", I told R and R said, "Yeah! What a waste that we aren't a couple!" Laughing we went our own ways!

Scene 9:

I'm home and the college in front of my building is playing the crappiest music at the loudest volumes as they are having some function there! So I switch on the PC and type this shit out! Land laws will have to wait!

Notorious Shit!

So when Mr. Viral Shah approached us with a, "Guys! Do me a huge favour na please! I have lost my first year fee receipt, please write the necessary letter for me. Thank you!" Well, this is the best we could come up with! Wonder why Viral refused to sign it! :P

Chapter 2.1 - 7th-C

Innocent Days: Part - II

7th C is remembered by me for numerous reasons:
1) the awesome classroom - perhaps the best classroom the school had back then
2) one of my close pals went missing
3) my fall from grace
4) the slap
5) my mouthing of swear word for the first time
and finally..
6) the start of "M" factor!

I was grim that day, A had gone missing and I really was stunned! Strong possibilities of his death been so publicly discussed were driving me nuts. Then Mandy had suddenly changed from my best and only friend to a mere bastard! Now I was left searching for a friend! C was ever-ready to lend me his hand, but God I hated him! So while I was fighting this loneliness, teacher announced, "We have to do some shuffling of places. This year a new policy has been introduced - You will have the same partner alright, but so that back benchers don't stay backbenchers forever, there is going to be a rotation policy, everyday you will be moving one bench back and you would also be shifting row-wise! Therefore after one rotation is complete, you would be changing rows!"

I was placed with Hairy A (H-A from here on)! He revealed to me that he had always been inspired by me as I never left my 2nd rank and still did amazingly well in drawing and craft exams! This really left me confused and proud! Ah crap! People actually worked for drawing and craft exams! So he was my big fan, but he was a total pest!

I scanned and found this new face in my class! "She's M", Mandy2's chaavi!" H-A quickly told me! A quick look at Mandy2 and "How?????" I shot back at H-A! H-A started laughing. "No yaar, he's just crazy about her, woh usko bhav nahi deti!" I was relieved! It is somehow heartening to see all the fellows with you are suffering as much as you, even one satisfied goat kills the human in you and makes you wanna steal all that is his! Or so was I of the attitude back then!I looked at M, oh she was beautiful! Her hair seemed amazing! And her soft skin! She was really cute! She hardly talked to anyone in the class and her silence seemed to cry out so much! She wanted to scream, I could feel it, her eyes just gave it away, but she was gagged! She seemed to be fighting some internal war with the world! All this without a single exchange of word, all this without a single exchange of glance, but all this cause the beautiful her had just got stuck in my head! The moment I entered the class my eyes would go on hunting for M! The crush had gone overboard and I had become too damn crazy about a person I hadn't even talked to, and all this in just one week of seeing her!

Then the most awaited day came when our benches were placed in such a way that M was going to sit right ahead of me and this would go on till the exams! I finally had my chance! All day long I used to lie low on the desk smelling her beautiful hair that sweetly wiped the desk-dust! I let the hair lay undisturbed on my notebook and promptly stop writing the notes, H-A realised I am going crazy and he used to give those dirty "I-know-and-I-am-gonna-kick-your-ass" kinda smiles! Now this was frustrating, but H-A weirdly never opened his mouth! (By the end of the third week, I am sure even he had fallen for her) But I never had the courage to start a conversation with M, and now I wish I had; had I done so, my life would have been so different and even hers!

All was going smoothly, I was still seated behind M and M was still avoiding Mandy2 and Mandy2 was still planning to kill himself if she doesn't fall for him and I was still hoping that this would happen; and my future looked all so sweet as Ms. M seemed destined to become Mrs. MSN (although not a word was exchanged and just once or twice a glance was passed). But then came the exams and what followed post-exams was totally unforeseen!

Innocence no more...!

(to be continued...)

Blank Confusion

I hate this mood! I hate being non-excited! I hate it when I am inactive, when my mind just goes off to sleep, I hate doing nothing, I hate being unproductive even for one second of my life, and here I am, 30 whole minutes and I have done NOTHING! This is killing me really! I tried strumming my guitar but zipped it shut within 2 minutes, then tried to call PJ and GZ but no one answered my call, then messaged my sistaah, but she never replied to it, so I reached for my cell to call her but didn't have the heart to disturb her, so I gave up on the idea and reached for my diary, tried to write some shit but then I thought of blogging it instead! Now by the time blogger.com opened itself, I totally forgot what I wanted to blog on! So now I sit all blank and totally out of ideas before the machine!

As the emptiness fills the mind, I begin to visualize the tomorrow, plan my future that my eyes want to see.

The long road trip on my bike: I would be gone for a year probably, but this, according to my calculations, isn't quite feasible in the next 2 years.

Perform in a concert: But the amount of time I am taking to learn the guitar, it doesn't seem possible for next 5 years.

My career: If everything goes as planned, then I would be packing my baggage and would be on wheels by Jan 2k7!

Treks: They will be happening whenever I get 3 straight days off!

Photography: This new found obsession will commence as soon as I get my digi-cam! So I hope this would be soon!

Sketching: Few years from now, I would be attending some art school

Music: Not sure, but if I get the time to, I surely would join some music school.

Dramatics: I guess I will, but not on my priority really!

The undisclosed: Before July 8th of 2007 surely!

The girl: Umm... No clue! Don't want to label it a priority and screw my brains! So better off alone!

So after exposing my thoughts and yet-to-be-lived-dreams to the world, I feel all geared up to start with "the undisclosed"! Ah! Relief! End of Blank Confusion :P

Diveagaar Beach

Chapter 1 - Lets get married!

Innocent Days: Part - I

Men are believed to be hungry and horny. I represent such a breed! But there did prevail an age of innocence and surprisingly this was just 18 years ago!

This happened in second grade - during an age when guys followed a "we-hate-girls" policy, teacher made an announcement "one-guy-one-girl per bench". Back then, the innocent mouths "boo"ed at the teacher, add 10 more years to our age and the teacher would be blessed for these exact words! (Infact, I would support "one-guy-two-to-three-girls" any given day!)

Now there were four rows in total. The 2nd and the 3rd rows were arranged in such a manner that the benches of 2nd row and 3rd row actually touched each other, making it seem like a bench made for 4 people. Teacher made all the guys sit in the second row and on the right hand side of the bench, so now I prayed for left hand side of the third row to be occupied by a guy, but no! The devil teacher had to put in a girl in there! So I was "trapped" in between two girls! (Ah those innocent years! Now my mind thinks of all the devil things I could have done). So the one on my right was AR and the one on my left was Pals.

Now Pals was really cute I remember and it was an instant-crush! AR on the other hand was forever fighting and I just hated her. After a few days even Pals started hating AR and this helped me and Pals to become amazing friends. Me and Pals used to be together all the time and even during recess we never left our seats. Then Pals was sick one day and Amrish (AR's partner) was also absent. So out of no choice we were forced to bear each other for the entire day. Surprisingly we had fun! Pals came back the next day but Amrish continued to stay absent for remaining week (I guess.. don't remember clearly now). AR had no one but me to talk and so she had to be good to me. Then came holidays and I knew staying away from Pals was going to bother me, but staying away from AR too started bothering me somehow. Then my innocent little brain started thinking, "Ah Sun! There's only one chick you can marry at a time (Holy fuck! Direct marriage! Crazy minds man!). So you have to decide between Pals and AR". Entire night I kept on thinking and finally the cuteness and original sweetness of Pals made her an obvious winner! Holidays went on miserably and I was dying for school to start just to meet Pals so I can tell her about my plans of marrying her. Come school days and Pals had some news to tell, "Arey Sun, I met this guy at my aunt's place and he was so cute.... ". She went on about this cute guy for the entire day but I had already switched off. "Should've chosen AR, I knew it! Pals won't marry you!" But Amrish had come back and AR refused to talk to me now! I do not quite recall what I had called AR back then but had I am guessing it was something equivalent to "BITCH"!

Ah well, the poor me felt the heart break for the first time at such a tender age of 6! Next grade, Pals went in some other class but AR remained in my class, but me and AR never talked. In 4th grade, I heard Pals had changed school. Well, I told myself to move on, "there'll be someone else you'll find to marry Sun, I'm sure" (I recall telling this to myself!)

Heart broken and shaken, I was determined to never fall for a girl again and so I took to studies very seriously. Then I stepped in 7th grade!

(to be continued..)

Introduction

There always comes a time in life when one decides to go insane and fall in love! There are people who decide to be secretive about this "love" they have for that certain someone and choose to die a silent death in their someone's memory by never expressing their feelings; and then there are people like me!

People like me will see to it that no matter what, these "love"ly feelings are expressed loud and clear to that "loved" one, people like me will bark out their feelings to their crushes cause people like me believe in "I will never know if I never try"! (In case confidence fails us sometimes, there are always the over-enthusiastic friends who do the needful for you so that your "love" never goes un-noticed.) However, people like me go with an attitude of "Love me or I forgive thee" and the innumberable defeats never detract us from trying for that next cute chick who comes along the way and we are again all set to get "crushed"!

Disclaimer: All the characters in this series are real and existing. Any resemblance to the fictitious and dead is a mere coincidence.

selling the drama

"How to sell yourself" - the title of the book said proudly and I nearly laughed at the person training to sell himself. Curiosity took its toll and a quick search on the net revealed there are million books on the same topic and are meant for those who intend to make it big in the corporate world! Wow! Plus there were multiple articles explaining how important it is for a person to sell himself so that he succeeds in his life. Wow! So are these some perfect guides to become a successful whore?

So I always pondered, why are the whores rated characterless? Is it just because they sell their skin? Well, in that sense, there are people worse than them; there are people who sell their brains, sell their integrity, sell their souls and they are still the respectable class, how and why? Take a look at you, are you a sell-out? I rate a person to be a sell-out when he does something that he doesn't really enjoy doing but merely does it for money. How different is he from a prostitute? She sells her flesh for money, he sells his brains for money and none of them are enjoying their "work" really! But still prostitution is filthy whereas brain and knowledge sale is high class! Justified?

I believe there are just two ways of making a living:
1) Do what you do and people appreciating your work pay you for the same
2) Sell yourself and do what others want you to do

There, I believe, is a very thin line between being a bent-over and being yourself. It is necessary to realize this. This life we get is meant to be for us, why should we waste it living for others? Is it just because you get good money? Please help me figure out how different it is then from that of a prostitute? She satisfies her customer for money and so do you. The means may be different but the end is the same. All the education and all the knowledge that was acquired over so many years was done so just to be sold? Was it so cheaply attained? Was it so easy? Why waste something over which so much effort was spent? Why not utilize it for the betterment of our own selves than to price it for some materialistic pleasure? I fail to comprehend the art of selling oneself to the world as a morally correct act, but then who’s to judge the right and wrong of it?

Disclaimer: I myself haven't read any books on the above mentioned topic and I am totally ignorant on the matter they contain. The book was mentioned only for its amusing title!

6-stringed obsession!

30 Seconds to Mars and Breaking Benjamin are curently my favourite Grunge Rock/Hard Rock/Alternative Metal (newly formed) bands. I have been a huge fan of Breaking Benjamin since the release of their first album "Saturate" and they just got better with "We are not alone" and their latest release "Phobia" just confirmed that they are no fluke act! One helluva band this!

30 Seconds to Mars didn't impress me with their first release, though their latest album's been nothing short of phenomenal and I really enjoyed their acoustic concert. Here are the videos of the same. Enjoy!

Modern Myth - 30 Seconds to Mars



Was it a dream - 30 Seconds to Mars



The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars



I couldn't resist from putting up some videos of Breaking Benjamin too! Enjoy! :)

So Cold - Breaking Benjamin



The Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin



Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin

untitled chaos

Yes! It has happened! Finally the words have stopped flowing! The ideas fail me! The thoughts are lost! The brain no longer helps the observations to develop into some sensible written work! So my act of writing has suddenly come to a stand still, making it seem as if all that was, was just a temporary phase and a mere limitation of my mind and thoughts besides a failed attempt to speak out loud. Coming to think of it, it is my own fault too, letting people affect me and my free flow of thoughts, letting them touch me and letting them easily bog me down. So here I go again but I write on nothing specific today though the point is I will still write!

Okay! I am mainly writing this article for 4 reasons:

1) The clock shows 1.59 am and no sane soul is awake to listen to me.

2) The heat is making me sweat to the extent that its bloody impossible for me to sleep or even sit for that matter but am still determined to bore the poor souls reading this since I still practice the age ol' "if thou shalt feel bored then bore thy neighbors" philosophy!

3) I just have enough energy to write garbage but no determination to study or do something productive.

4) Am royally pissed off on innumerable living creatures and am praying that they either cease to exist or they just let me be!

It just seems like yesterday when I was all charged up to fight the world and make it big in life. But ah crap! The laziness fights its way back to defeat its age old enemy in determination and takes total control of me! So the helpless me just waits for some guide to help get through this self-messed life! Self-messed is the correct term because life in itself is always beautiful and generous but the insatiable tendency fucks it royally!

I have read it somewhere: the person who knows what the cure for the problem is, but never works on the same is far greater a fool than the person who has failed to recognize the problem in itself. Now these words of wisdom do strike me but I still choose to stay the greater fool. Blame it on laziness.

I waste my life bitching about how imperfect you are when I run away from my own imperfections. I mock at you for your foolish actions while I fail to correct my own. I laugh away at your serious issues while cry a million oceans on my self-created miseries. I hate the world for its hypocrite ways when the biggest hypocrite is wide awake in me!

Thoughts fail me today, wisdom is a long lost friend, laziness is making this life worthless and misery is self inflicted here! So here I go rate myself the craziest thing ever born! Here I go mock at myself! Here I go apologize to thee for all that I've ever said!

"Love"ly distractions

Some "love"ly examples:

01) Abu Salem - His career was at its peak as he was all focused on making it big. But then step in Monica and step in trouble. He faced a lotta complications after he fell for her. He had to make several amendments in his lifestyle so as to suit her lifestyle! Phew! Things people do! Finally it resulted in his arrest! Career barbaad and now love lost! Monica's having fun with his dough!

02) Lakshya the movie - Now having lost Preity Zinta, Hritik Roshan was all focused on his career as an army officer, but then he reads the letter stating Preity's break-up with her fiancee and he gets distracted! Dammit Hritik! You are in war! Now you wanna go home so you can spend time with Preity who easily dumped you and had a boy friend and even more, got engaged while you were left battling Pakis! WTH!

03) Apna own Marc Hazard (wonder why he calls himself that when he is so non-Hazardous :P) - He excelled in academics! Topping all the exams and kicking ass! Step in girl and go down marks! Duh! See see! Told ya! Ladki! Pyar! Saley! Sunaa kar! Just don't MARK HAZARDS.. stay away from them! :P (sidey joke I admit!)

04) Ramayan - Sita gets kidnapped! Ram, Lakshman, Hanuman all go crazy! Hanuman gets her home and returns to Lanka to burn it down! God! If Sita were never born, there wouldn't have been so much violence in Lanka! Revenge commeth and then war between Ram and Ravan! Ahhhhhhhhhh.. too many killings man!

05) Mahabharat - Draupadi! God! 5 people marrying her and then the stupid game and then striptease and then Mahabharat! Man! Take off Draupadi from the epic and lets see what all could've been avoided!

06) Sammy my friend - Nice hard-working smart ass. But few years back when he was in love he suffered miserable grades, all his time was wasted in talking about her, thiking about her and then one day they started seeing each other and again time got wasted in handling and caring and staring and wearing and all fucking dearing.. as always a breakup followed in few months.. Sammy goes "waaaaaaaaaaa", girl goes "So!" and down go his grades! But of course, with kick ass people like us around him, he never felt low (or so we intend to think as come Sammy and come ass-kicking!) The first question always was, "So dude! How's your chick?" and then someone had to follow it with, "I heard she's no more you know.. with you! What happened dude?" and then a third guy had to join in with, "So she's seeing K I heard! Sorry man! But she was hot!" And then after everyone bowed their "amen"s to the "she was hot" statement, there used to be an uproar and Sammy bore it all! Had Sammy not been there done that.. he wouldn't have had to bear us! :P

07) Courtney Love - Talking of rockstars, Courtney in and Kurt Cobain out and out from the freaking world! What the fuck! Now she killed him or he killed himself is highly disputed, though it was pretty obvious what that bitch was (and still is) doing!

08) Beatles - Everyone knows the Beatles story! Come Yoko and bye bye Beatles and wohooo drugs!

09) Mohd. Azhar - God! This guy raked in crores. Then he thought of betraying his wife and started concentrating on l'autre femme. His career ended! Monetary losses he faced mainly due to the end of his career as a match-fixer were humongous! (Well, betrayal is a different story really but then you betray cause you are in love again! Huh! How does that EVER happen?)

10) Moi - Happy uncaring kid I was! Then I fell in this shit called love! Slept for 2 hours for nearly an year, messing up my days and finally my acads too. End result: I went through hell for an entire year after the breakup; whereas she found a new guy to screw around within 2 months of the same!

Hence I quote: LOVE ROCKS! :P

Blogshit!

What people blog on!
(This is the meaningful shit.. trust me!)
___________________________

01) life (we so need to know this)
02) love (urghhhh)
03) sex (love again?)(no idiot! it's different! :P)
04) death (we so need to find out why and how!)
05) God and anti-God ("catch" this! :P)
06) poverty (oh we should deal with this asap!)
07) kindness (important supposedly)
08) helplessness and how I helped or how I was helped!(same category as above!) (again it is important)
09) racism (bad bad problem)
10) politics (never understood and total inexperience in the field) (yeah right!)
11) history (I love it, it hates me! :S)
12) movies (Hmmm)
13) music (Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
14) war (pathetic shit... needs to be stopped!)

All the topics that MAKE SENSE really!
___________________________

What I blog on!
(Stuff that you would kill me for making you read!)
___________________________

01) dogs and bitches (whah!!!!!)
02) crossing the roads (what the fuck!)
03) old men falling off their beds (mother of God!)
04) women's thoughts (yeah right!)
05) why people are busy! (and seems like I am just NOT!)
06) Floyd.. whether they should or should not be! (phew! really need to get some work!)
07) why should one not tell me what to blog on! :P